Leaving Feds - one of us has to move right?

[Anonymous]

OP is full of excuses and wants to move away. You all are wasting your breath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both should look for jobs to see if you can find jobs that let you live in the same place even if it's Kalamazoo. You aren't making enough to support a comfortable commuter lifestyle, with everyone getting together at either place for holidays and breaks, and it will stress the marriage and your kid who will figure out it's all "for her." If she's not a sociopath that will upset her.

That isn’t happening in any reasonable timelines.

We ended up in DC because of the specialized nature of our jobs (not necessarily high paying but niche). We won’t find a similar combo anywhere else, so the trailing spouse will have to quit and start over in a new field likely making radically less money.

This is not an exercise in wanderlust — we both go to work everyday wondering if we will get the RIF memo. It’s not like we work for ICE or some other favored agency. Quite the contrary.

Why radically less money? Arguably the trailing spouse couldn’t have been making more than $150k, right?

I am not buying that this job is so incredibly unique that there is absolutely nothing else she can do and earn $100k. Her job has to have some equivalent industry or expertise valued somewhere.

I am in a MCOL area and people have all sorts of jobs. My part of town is rather affluent and people have a wide variety of jobs.

Again, I seem to only be able to land lateral jobs, I can’t get a huge bump from GS15 in my industry, but I’m hoping to advance once in private.

She is a SES so make around $210k or so, but doing non governmental work there is strictly academic routes. She is not published enough for a university job, so you are looking at community college or high school… and a long shot at a state govt job (they usually have only 1-3 roles for the entire state).

So she should only quit once I am in a solid position, making a little bit more. Can that happen in DC with our local labor market?? I have applied to about 50 jobs so far and this is the first offer, albeit far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both should look for jobs to see if you can find jobs that let you live in the same place even if it's Kalamazoo. You aren't making enough to support a comfortable commuter lifestyle, with everyone getting together at either place for holidays and breaks, and it will stress the marriage and your kid who will figure out it's all "for her." If she's not a sociopath that will upset her.

That isn’t happening in any reasonable timelines.

We ended up in DC because of the specialized nature of our jobs (not necessarily high paying but niche). We won’t find a similar combo anywhere else, so the trailing spouse will have to quit and start over in a new field likely making radically less money.

This is not an exercise in wanderlust — we both go to work everyday wondering if we will get the RIF memo. It’s not like we work for ICE or some other favored agency. Quite the contrary.

Why radically less money? Arguably the trailing spouse couldn’t have been making more than $150k, right?

I am not buying that this job is so incredibly unique that there is absolutely nothing else she can do and earn $100k. Her job has to have some equivalent industry or expertise valued somewhere.

I am in a MCOL area and people have all sorts of jobs. My part of town is rather affluent and people have a wide variety of jobs.

Again, I seem to only be able to land lateral jobs, I can’t get a huge bump from GS15 in my industry, but I’m hoping to advance once in private.

She is a SES so make around $210k or so, but doing non governmental work there is strictly academic routes. She is not published enough for a university job, so you are looking at community college or high school… and a long shot at a state govt job (they usually have only 1-3 roles for the entire state).

So she should only quit once I am in a solid position, making a little bit more. Can that happen in DC with our local labor market?? I have applied to about 50 jobs so far and this is the first offer, albeit far away.

Why should your wife with the better job quit to follow your worse job? You are making zero sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both should look for jobs to see if you can find jobs that let you live in the same place even if it's Kalamazoo. You aren't making enough to support a comfortable commuter lifestyle, with everyone getting together at either place for holidays and breaks, and it will stress the marriage and your kid who will figure out it's all "for her." If she's not a sociopath that will upset her.

That isn’t happening in any reasonable timelines.

We ended up in DC because of the specialized nature of our jobs (not necessarily high paying but niche). We won’t find a similar combo anywhere else, so the trailing spouse will have to quit and start over in a new field likely making radically less money.

This is not an exercise in wanderlust — we both go to work everyday wondering if we will get the RIF memo. It’s not like we work for ICE or some other favored agency. Quite the contrary.

Why radically less money? Arguably the trailing spouse couldn’t have been making more than $150k, right?

I am not buying that this job is so incredibly unique that there is absolutely nothing else she can do and earn $100k. Her job has to have some equivalent industry or expertise valued somewhere.

I am in a MCOL area and people have all sorts of jobs. My part of town is rather affluent and people have a wide variety of jobs.

Again, I seem to only be able to land lateral jobs, I can’t get a huge bump from GS15 in my industry, but I’m hoping to advance once in private.

She is a SES so make around $210k or so, but doing non governmental work there is strictly academic routes. She is not published enough for a university job, so you are looking at community college or high school… and a long shot at a state govt job (they usually have only 1-3 roles for the entire state).

So she should only quit once I am in a solid position, making a little bit more. Can that happen in DC with our local labor market?? I have applied to about 50 jobs so far and this is the first offer, albeit far away.

I get where you’re coming from, but why does someone want to stay in a job paying $210k where there are not any other jobs and the current one may go away?

If your wife’s job truly doesn’t transfer into anything else I’d be more concerned about a RIF. She’s truly doing something that doesn’t apply to any industry?

Can you not look in locations where both of you are employable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both should look for jobs to see if you can find jobs that let you live in the same place even if it's Kalamazoo. You aren't making enough to support a comfortable commuter lifestyle, with everyone getting together at either place for holidays and breaks, and it will stress the marriage and your kid who will figure out it's all "for her." If she's not a sociopath that will upset her.

That isn’t happening in any reasonable timelines.

We ended up in DC because of the specialized nature of our jobs (not necessarily high paying but niche). We won’t find a similar combo anywhere else, so the trailing spouse will have to quit and start over in a new field likely making radically less money.

This is not an exercise in wanderlust — we both go to work everyday wondering if we will get the RIF memo. It’s not like we work for ICE or some other favored agency. Quite the contrary.

Why radically less money? Arguably the trailing spouse couldn’t have been making more than $150k, right?

I am not buying that this job is so incredibly unique that there is absolutely nothing else she can do and earn $100k. Her job has to have some equivalent industry or expertise valued somewhere.

I am in a MCOL area and people have all sorts of jobs. My part of town is rather affluent and people have a wide variety of jobs.

Again, I seem to only be able to land lateral jobs, I can’t get a huge bump from GS15 in my industry, but I’m hoping to advance once in private.

She is a SES so make around $210k or so, but doing non governmental work there is strictly academic routes. She is not published enough for a university job, so you are looking at community college or high school… and a long shot at a state govt job (they usually have only 1-3 roles for the entire state).

So she should only quit once I am in a solid position, making a little bit more. Can that happen in DC with our local labor market?? I have applied to about 50 jobs so far and this is the first offer, albeit far away.

I get where you’re coming from, but why does someone want to stay in a job paying $210k where there are not any other jobs and the current one may go away?

If your wife’s job truly doesn’t transfer into anything else I’d be more concerned about a RIF. She’s truly doing something that doesn’t apply to any industry?

Can you not look in locations where both of you are employable?

Because maybe she doesn't get RIffed and keeps making $210k for a while yet? Why doesn't he look for teaching or CC jobs, since he's a scientist?

[Anonymous]

I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

Yeah, "she would have to teach high school" is a worst case scenario conclusion.

But I agree that OP just seems to want to jump on this first offer without giving up the security of his wife's current income, even if that means living across the country for his kid's high school years. What we say doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

OP looking to separate I think. New life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

Yeah, "she would have to teach high school" is a worst case scenario conclusion.

But I agree that OP just seems to want to jump on this first offer without giving up the security of his wife's current income, even if that means living across the country for his kid's high school years. What we say doesn't matter.

Okay, now that we had another RIFpalooza, do you see why I’m ready for us to line up private industry jobs while we can? The plan is to eliminate all Fed jobs except some law enforcement and military it seems like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

Yeah, "she would have to teach high school" is a worst case scenario conclusion.

But I agree that OP just seems to want to jump on this first offer without giving up the security of his wife's current income, even if that means living across the country for his kid's high school years. What we say doesn't matter.

Okay, now that we had another RIFpalooza, do you see why I’m ready for us to line up private industry jobs while we can? The plan is to eliminate all Fed jobs except some law enforcement and military it seems like.

We understand why you want to get out. We don't understand why splitting your family cross-country for several years is the only option you're willing to consider. But you are set on it so you do you. (Does the offer still exist? Did you already accept?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

Agree this doesn’t make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

No, they don't. That's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

No, they don't. That's the problem.

Facebook fired all their policy and regulatory people.

I mean, what regulation do they have to negotiate?

Strategy of govt is radically different.

OP’s DW is also likely old, AND a woman, which are huge disadvantages to transition into an executive role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly do not understand how a SES can be so niche DC that none of the skills or expertise or subject matter can be used anywhere except the current job.
It's EXECUTIVE service. There have to be executive skills? Companies want DC type expertise and experience for strategy, regulatory matters, lots of things. OP spouse should spend $1k and talk to a career coach.

No, they don't. That's the problem.

Facebook fired all their policy and regulatory people.

I mean, what regulation do they have to negotiate?

Strategy of govt is radically different.

OP’s DW is also likely old, AND a woman, which are huge disadvantages to transition into an executive role.

There's more out there than Facebook. Pharma, pesticide, energy all have reg regimes. Just a start.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your wife makes more money, so you need to defer to her career OP, just like I do with my DH.

Start looking for jobs locally now and see what happens. May take years, like me, but you will probably find something. Don't quit your day job.