Leaving Feds - one of us has to move right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Military families move kids. Yes high schoolers.
Does your kid want to split up the family to stay at same school? Well say no.

Military families have a built in support network with OTHER military families, common housing etc.

They also have made several moves by the time in high school, so develop skills on how to manage. Moving someone for the first time at 15 is very different.

This largely is a misapprehension.

There is not much *automatic* support network for military. That needs to be built from scratch with each move.

Most military families CONUS have to live in ordinary non-military off-base housing (i.e., same housing that PP might use) that they lease or buy on their own.

Many military kids move house, school, and metro area for the first time at HS (especially true here). An example or two might help. I know an officer whose job assignments were Pentagon, DISA, NSA, and then NRO. Spent 16 years in metro DC. Another who worked in Colorado on the front range for 17 years at Peterson, Schriever, Buckley, and then NORAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

[Anonymous]

Is there someone other than healthcare hiring in DC DMV? That would have comp nearing $300k if you advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed social scientist facing RIF/reorg as well, and I wouldn't make this move. If not disrupting my family was a priority, I'd look for work outside my field and take a pay cut to stay in the area. (That is my plan, currently.)

What kind of work are you considering, working retail making $20/hr?

I've worked retail before and generally the hours are too all over the map for parents of young kids. I'd definitely consider a weekend/evening serving gig. Also considering substitute teaching, bus driving, and weekend/evening tour guiding.

The key would be having very low paid work be part time while searching for another office job or consulting. But I've accepted that where I live I could probably only make 50-75% of my fed salary even then.

This is the kind of stuff you have to think about if you're prioritizing not moving the kids or keeping your spouse's local job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

Or she could quit and get another job instead of staying home forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

Or she could quit and get another job instead of staying home forever?

We have been BOTH actively looking for jobs. Our network is shallow as long time Feds — no one leaves our agencies and just retire from there. We are both IC working on technical work with narrow focus and not much collaboration with outside companies.

When she moves (in 3 years) she would likely get another job but we doubt it will be a GS15 pay range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed social scientist facing RIF/reorg as well, and I wouldn't make this move. If not disrupting my family was a priority, I'd look for work outside my field and take a pay cut to stay in the area. (That is my plan, currently.)

What kind of work are you considering, working retail making $20/hr?

I've worked retail before and generally the hours are too all over the map for parents of young kids. I'd definitely consider a weekend/evening serving gig. Also considering substitute teaching, bus driving, and weekend/evening tour guiding.

The key would be having very low paid work be part time while searching for another office job or consulting. But I've accepted that where I live I could probably only make 50-75% of my fed salary even then.

This is the kind of stuff you have to think about if you're prioritizing not moving the kids or keeping your spouse's local job.

75%? So I make $135k working retail? I’m so out of touch, that seems very doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed social scientist facing RIF/reorg as well, and I wouldn't make this move. If not disrupting my family was a priority, I'd look for work outside my field and take a pay cut to stay in the area. (That is my plan, currently.)

What kind of work are you considering, working retail making $20/hr?

I've worked retail before and generally the hours are too all over the map for parents of young kids. I'd definitely consider a weekend/evening serving gig. Also considering substitute teaching, bus driving, and weekend/evening tour guiding.

The key would be having very low paid work be part time while searching for another office job or consulting. But I've accepted that where I live I could probably only make 50-75% of my fed salary even then.

This is the kind of stuff you have to think about if you're prioritizing not moving the kids or keeping your spouse's local job.

75%? So I make $135k working retail? I’m so out of touch, that seems very doable.

Are you being intentionally obtuse? I said "even then," as in once I eventually find another professional job. The state and local governments pay 50-75%, for example.

But I clearly make a lot less than you, as does my spouse, so it seems like we have...more options than you, somehow? Not sure how that works, but we know what a bare bones budget is and how to live on it

[Anonymous]

I would move a freshman. Plenty of time to adjust to a new school.

[Anonymous]

OP how are you sure your job is ending? Personally I think waiting it out is the better strategy. At a minimum wait until you find something in this area. Betting everything on a tech job in another high COL city in your 50s seems like poor planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

Or she could quit and get another job instead of staying home forever?

We have been BOTH actively looking for jobs. Our network is shallow as long time Feds — no one leaves our agencies and just retire from there. We are both IC working on technical work with narrow focus and not much collaboration with outside companies.

When she moves (in 3 years) she would likely get another job but we doubt it will be a GS15 pay range.

Go to professional conferences. Give talks or papers. Even if you have to take PTO and pay yourself. It's how to meet contacts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

Wanting to quit your job, taking a lower paying lateral job in the hopes you get a raise … none of this makes financial sense. Stay put.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

So your only options are wife stays in current job for 3 years and then doesn't have to work anymore, or wife stays in current job 12 years and doesn't work.

That's an insane way to deal with a job you dislike. I get that it's hard to transfer out of government right now, but you're reasoning as though she would NEVER be able to get another job in any field, ever. I bet she could find something within those 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re considering leaving unstable job 1 in high COL city to take unstable job 2 - for the LESS pay - in another, high COL city where you’d be away from your wife and kid for 4 years? How is this even a question?

I mean current job has admin intent on eliminating.

The new job is “unstable” only that it’s in a tech company, which are inherently less stable than gov work. The company has been around 20 years and many people I’ve interviewed with have been working there for nearly a decade. I won’t feel stable in any private industry job in current “make it all AI” era…

But the job has significant growth potential — unlike Fed jobs which have been capped.

I don’t love it, but DW wants to quit her job and my job is likely ending — so you say I stay put until RIF, let her be breadwinner in job she hates, and then hope I can find some kind of work locally even for much less pay?

But you're focused on not moving your daughter. You didn't present the situation of you taking the job, your wife quitting and moving the whole family. If you can all move, then it's a calculated risk. If you're going to work across the country while your wife quits her local job to stay home with your high schooler (...?), that makes less sense. If she hates her job so much but you can't move, you should both be looking for new stuff locally.

Sorry. She would only keep her job while finishing high schoolers stint. The idea is with a private industry job that has comp that will eventually surpass the GS scale, it’s the right kind of opportunity to eventually have her quit. Otherwise if we both stay GS, she can’t quit for 12 years or so vs 3 if we move and I’m making more.

So your only options are wife stays in current job for 3 years and then doesn't have to work anymore, or wife stays in current job 12 years and doesn't work.

That's an insane way to deal with a job you dislike. I get that it's hard to transfer out of government right now, but you're reasoning as though she would NEVER be able to get another job in any field, ever. I bet she could find something within those 3 years.

Alternatively, with 3 years to look since it sounds like you don't plan on her quitting before then anyway, YOU could probably find something else locally. It might not be precisely equivalent but a family of 3 can live just fine on one GS-15 salary.