Private school is a terrible ROI for middle class people

[Anonymous]

Don't forget if you buy in a crappier area with bad schools your home may be cheaper but you will face slow appreciation greater risk of crime/death and price drops if there is a recession. Your neighbors will also be less good

[Anonymous]

We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

Outcomes is much more dependent upon parental involvement and home life. Your kids would not have had a crappy outcome at public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 15k. A bargain! You need to find the no frills ones that provide a strong academic foundation at a reasonable cost.

I think that thing doesn’t exist.

Yeah, I think most parochial schools are pretty meh. If you're interested in the religious foundation, that's one thing (although couldn't you just use free Sunday school)?

For many, the religious aspect is secondary to the MUCH higher expectations that Catholic schools have for their students. That's mostly what I was paying for. My son (called a loser previously) gave exactly what was expected and got straight As in public school. The work he handed in was most definitely not A work. He coasted through school thinking the work he was doing was fantastic when it wasn't. The straight As disappeared when he got to Catholic school. He had to work MUCH harder to get Bs. He developed an actual work ethic. The public school policies of retakes and no late penalties are awful for developing actual EF skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

You aren't middle class so your anecdote is not relevant to this thread.

The question is whether private school makes sense for people who will not have 14M in their retirement accounts by the time their youngest is graduating from high school. And the answer is: no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is important that my children grow up around the right kind of people. Private school provides that environment.

This is exactly why I don’t send my kids to private. And I could well afford it. Can’t stand the many striving a-hole parents

But then your kids have to go to school with “those people”. The horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If private school tuition is 30k a year and you instead invest this money at 7% returns from age 5 through 18, you'll have over 600k by college age. If this 600k was invested another 12 years until 30 it would become almost $1.5M.

I know some people are rich enough to do both but if you can only choose one, what would it be? I think at the very least private school tuition should be cut and you give this money to your kid in young adulthood to help them with buying a house or something. I see so many people who aren't even rich sending kids to private and I just wonder why they do this when it would be way more impactful to their children's future to just invest the money to gift to them as adults.

Personally, I wouldn't do it, but we know more than a few Indian/Asian families - the typical first-gen immigrant, 2-income, IT, govt. etc - that have had excellent outcomes for their kids. Most go on from private school to T20 colleges (a fair number of T10s) and high-end jobs after that. Don't waste your time on alternative analysis like this where the variables are unknown/unknowable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that the value of an education can be measured solely in financial terms is completely cloddish.

+100 thank. Came here to say this. Some of y'all are not that bright are you.

Isn’t that the point of education? To get a good job, and make X amount of money.

You can totally put a $ value on an education. Thats why there are ROI surveys on colleges based on price to attend and $ outcomes of graduates.

No, the point of education is to become educated, to increase in wisdom, knowledge and intellectual stature, to become a better, bigger, more enlightened person. If you want a job go to trade school. Confusing the two is a decidedly lower class trait and a complete misunderstanding.

Yes, it's counter intuitive but rich people pay for education. What they get is an elaborate social sorting system <- this is the part they care about, not the knowledge or anything else.

Just to bring back around. The social sorting system is why it's a bad deal for middle class families; they just aren't going to get out of it what they put in, because the point of the whole thing is to put the middle-class kids in their place.

Really, you think the neighborhood Catholic school is a major source of class sorting? C'mon.

What you're describing may be true of certain top schools, although I can think of several MC people who have done well using the name recognition and networks nonetheless. But the majority of kids in private school are not at top schools with the children of the very rich and connected. They are at local schools that mostly educate kids from the surrounding area. It has approximately the same sorting value as an expensive team sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The idea that the value of an education can be measured solely in financial terms is completely cloddish.

+100 thank. Came here to say this. Some of y'all are not that bright are you.

Agreed.
It's so sad that this is what success is considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

Outcomes is much more dependent upon parental involvement and home life. Your kids would not have had a crappy outcome at public schools.

I’m not the poster you are responding to, but we were zoned for one of the best elementary schools in Fairfax County and it was absolutely the worst experience ever we left and went to private school and it’s been a night and day difference. I would never send my kids ever again to these large factory schools that are terrible environments. Some kids do fine but other kids drown. So you have no guarantee if they would’ve been fine in public schools because if they were like my kids, they were absolutely miserable and hated school. Their grades were good, but they hated every single day. At private school, are thriving and very happy kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, now what? Does your frantic post make all private school parents pull their kids out of school? People are going to do what works for them. If their child(ren) has/are having a positive experience in private, let them live. What does it matter to you? Focus on and do what works for you and your finances.

DP and I agree. We tried public and were very dissatisfied. We switched to Catholic. It is a sacrifice financially, but it’s so worth it. ROI to me isn’t merely a financial calculation. Our kids are practicing the intangibles (responsibility, discipline, respect for self and others) that will serve them throughout their lives.

And it’s working for us. Maybe it wouldn’t for someone else. And that’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

You aren't middle class so your anecdote is not relevant to this thread.

The question is whether private school makes sense for people who will not have 14M in their retirement accounts by the time their youngest is graduating from high school. And the answer is: no.

Do you struggle with reading comprehension? We started our kids in private school with no wealth. We were fortunate that DH did well financially in his career. We took a risk and it was well worth it. So it does apply here. And my husband is 70 FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 15k. A bargain! You need to find the no frills ones that provide a strong academic foundation at a reasonable cost.

I think that thing doesn’t exist.

Yeah, I think most parochial schools are pretty meh. If you're interested in the religious foundation, that's one thing (although couldn't you just use free Sunday school)?

For many, the religious aspect is secondary to the MUCH higher expectations that Catholic schools have for their students. That's mostly what I was paying for. My son (called a loser previously) gave exactly what was expected and got straight As in public school. The work he handed in was most definitely not A work. He coasted through school thinking the work he was doing was fantastic when it wasn't. The straight As disappeared when he got to Catholic school. He had to work MUCH harder to get Bs. He developed an actual work ethic. The public school policies of retakes and no late penalties are awful for developing actual EF skills.

This was our experience going from public middle school to Catholic HS. Our son was very strong in math but his writing skills were horrendous despite getting As on all his writing projects. In HS he actually learned how to write. My younger one went to Catholic throughout elementary into HS and she is a great writer by comparison. Aced the ACT english and reading sections with a 36 with no prep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started sending kids to private school before we had any wealth to speak of. No real investments beyond our 401Ks. Sent our oldest to a good public school (MCPS W) through middle, but moved him to private high school in 9th at the cost of about $80K for four years (it's a lot more now). He ended up at a T20 university and has connections from both HS and college that will pay off for a lifetime. Sent our youngest through K-12 private at a total cost of $280K. She's a senior in HS with very good prospects for colleges based on this high school's typical matriculations. So a total of $360K was spent on K-12 education for two kids.

During this time, our wealth still increased significantly due to DH's very successful career. So we took a risk of not having much for retirement, but ended up with about $14M in net worth with both kids fully educated through college.

Sometimes you take risks in life. We are glad we did. Would they have been ok in pubic school? We will never know. But their friendships and connections would have been very different and I suspect my younger one would have been bullied relentlessly. Luckily we avoided that by putting her in an environment that was more controlled and with a culture of kindness. You can't find that in those big public schools.

Imagine if we were too cheap to spring for private and had a crappy outcome. We'd be kicking ourselves.

Outcomes is much more dependent upon parental involvement and home life. Your kids would not have had a crappy outcome at public schools.

Like I said, we will never know for sure, but I suspect it would have been crappy, especially for my younger one. Public schools have gone downhill since the COVID debacle. Luckily, my daughter didn't miss any school...was in person for the entirety of the 2020-21 school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 15k. A bargain! You need to find the no frills ones that provide a strong academic foundation at a reasonable cost.

I think that thing doesn’t exist.

Yeah, I think most parochial schools are pretty meh. If you're interested in the religious foundation, that's one thing (although couldn't you just use free Sunday school)?

For many, the religious aspect is secondary to the MUCH higher expectations that Catholic schools have for their students. That's mostly what I was paying for. My son (called a loser previously) gave exactly what was expected and got straight As in public school. The work he handed in was most definitely not A work. He coasted through school thinking the work he was doing was fantastic when it wasn't. The straight As disappeared when he got to Catholic school. He had to work MUCH harder to get Bs. He developed an actual work ethic. The public school policies of retakes and no late penalties are awful for developing actual EF skills.

This was our experience going from public middle school to Catholic HS. Our son was very strong in math but his writing skills were horrendous despite getting As on all his writing projects. In HS he actually learned how to write. My younger one went to Catholic throughout elementary into HS and she is a great writer by comparison. Aced the ACT english and reading sections with a 36 with no prep.

This is not common. Many of the private schools I looked at had worse test results than our assigned public school. College admission results were also not that impressive. And that's after cherry picking the kids they accept. I couldn't find much justification.