Private school is a terrible ROI for middle class people

[Anonymous]

We’ve put our kids through both private and public schools. I think if you’re middle class, ideally you put your kids in a magnet school that’s free but offers a rigorous education. Privates are not for middle school, unless you live in a truly subpar or unsafe school district, in which case you should spend that tuition money on moving to a safer home near a good community center and library instead.

And don’t ever pay more than you can afford for private in hope of landing at an Ivy. From what I’ve seen, middle class kids have the worst college outcomes from privates, unless they are a true genius. But if they were, they’d be at a magnet and could have better college outcome from there without having to compete for college spots with rich connected kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret sending my DD to private school that cost more than 60K a year. We don't belong there. We pull DD out at grade 11. DD was there from grade 6 to 10. She sees how top 1% live and friendship cannot last long bc of life style. Entitled kids with different lifestyle and doesn't need to work.

the honesty is refreshing and the bolded is what too many middle class and even working class parents tend to ignore

What I took away from this was a high level of insecurity from the kid, probably instilled by the parent. Most kids in my daughter’s private school don’t even consider the economic status of their friends. That’s just the parents unfortunately.

Kids don't look at economic status until they are in high school. The top 1% sticks together. If you are in lower end, you don't get invite to these party as you get older. Even if you get invited, you can't keep up with their lifestyle. You can't fly your kid to Europe for holiday break. It was great in middle school but as DD get older, it be apparent we don't belong there. DD still connect with few kids at top tier private school. Most of these kids go to private liberal art colleges where DD goes to well known public university. DD was in culture shock to see how the rest of people live when DD goes to public University. DD was in a bubble. 60K plus private school is great if you can afford it but it is a bubble.

best comment in this thread!

[Anonymous]

My son graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in 2015 on a full financial aid scholarship. He was a highly recruited athlete and later attended an Ivy League university with 90% financial aid. Most of his friends at Exeter and in college came from extremely wealthy families, yet they were drawn to him because he had something money couldn’t buy—natural talent and charisma. He often joined his friends on expensive trips and outings, never having to pay because they understood his situation and valued his company. He even dated a few of their sisters, and several of their parents offered him internships at their companies. When he graduated, he received multiple job offers through those same connections. Just last week, he returned from a trip to Australia with several of his high school friends—on a private jet. When you excel in sports, music, or simply have that “it” factor, doors open that wealth alone can’t unlock. Attending a private school can truly create lifelong opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in 2015 on a full financial aid scholarship. He was a highly recruited athlete and later attended an Ivy League university with 90% financial aid. Most of his friends at Exeter and in college came from extremely wealthy families, yet they were drawn to him because he had something money couldn’t buy—natural talent and charisma. He often joined his friends on expensive trips and outings, never having to pay because they understood his situation and valued his company. He even dated a few of their sisters, and several of their parents offered him internships at their companies. When he graduated, he received multiple job offers through those same connections. Just last week, he returned from a trip to Australia with several of his high school friends—on a private jet. When you excel in sports, music, or simply have that “it” factor, doors open that wealth alone can’t unlock. Attending a private school can truly create lifelong opportunities.

Well don’t you feel good about yourself

[Anonymous]

My son graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in 2015 on a full financial aid scholarship. He was a highly recruited athlete and later attended an Ivy League university with 90% financial aid. Most of his friends at Exeter and in college came from extremely wealthy families, yet they were drawn to him because he had something money couldn’t buy—natural talent and charisma. He often joined his friends on expensive trips and outings, never having to pay because they understood his situation and valued his company. He even dated a few of their sisters, and several of their parents offered him internships at their companies. When he graduated, he received multiple job offers through those same connections. Just last week, he returned from a trip to Australia with several of his high school friends—on a private jet. When you excel in sports, music, or simply have that “it” factor, doors open that wealth alone can’t unlock. Attending a private school can truly create lifelong opportunities.

Not impressed in the least. Plenty of people who have not gone to Phillips Exeter (and have not flown on private jets) are happier and more successful. Many, many people have been stunted by inheriting that kind of money.

I do understand that not having money tends to make people think that having money is everything, but the path to hell is often paved with gold. Better to be in the middle class and keep some perspective.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to public school, have friends that go to public school as well. And they are happy because they are in school with their friends. If that wasn’t working for them we would find another option, but I would never disrupt my kids’ lives just to send them to a “better” school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to public school, have friends that go to public school as well. And they are happy because they are in school with their friends. If that wasn’t working for them we would find another option, but I would never disrupt my kids’ lives just to send them to a “better” school.

Especially if the "better school" is not close by. Imagine what MS/HS is like if the school is 45 mins from your house, and all the students are spread out (or closer to the school). For your 9th grader to see friends/hang out, someone will be driving them 45min to an hour and then picking them up. Makes a social life much more challenging. So seriously consider if it really is the best thing for your kid (many times it simply isn't). Kids do better in school when they are happier overall, much of the learning attitudes come from home, so unless your schools are dangerous and really bad, it's often not worth it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to public school, have friends that go to public school as well. And they are happy because they are in school with their friends. If that wasn’t working for them we would find another option, but I would never disrupt my kids’ lives just to send them to a “better” school.

Especially if the "better school" is not close by. Imagine what MS/HS is like if the school is 45 mins from your house, and all the students are spread out (or closer to the school). For your 9th grader to see friends/hang out, someone will be driving them 45min to an hour and then picking them up. Makes a social life much more challenging. So seriously consider if it really is the best thing for your kid (many times it simply isn't). Kids do better in school when they are happier overall, much of the learning attitudes come from home, so unless your schools are dangerous and really bad, it's often not worth it

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in 2015 on a full financial aid scholarship. He was a highly recruited athlete and later attended an Ivy League university with 90% financial aid. Most of his friends at Exeter and in college came from extremely wealthy families, yet they were drawn to him because he had something money couldn’t buy—natural talent and charisma. He often joined his friends on expensive trips and outings, never having to pay because they understood his situation and valued his company. He even dated a few of their sisters, and several of their parents offered him internships at their companies. When he graduated, he received multiple job offers through those same connections. Just last week, he returned from a trip to Australia with several of his high school friends—on a private jet. When you excel in sports, music, or simply have that “it” factor, doors open that wealth alone can’t unlock. Attending a private school can truly create lifelong opportunities.

I would be absolutely terrified for my hang out with people like this. So shallow and holier than thou. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son graduated from Phillips Exeter Academy in 2015 on a full financial aid scholarship. He was a highly recruited athlete and later attended an Ivy League university with 90% financial aid. Most of his friends at Exeter and in college came from extremely wealthy families, yet they were drawn to him because he had something money couldn’t buy—natural talent and charisma. He often joined his friends on expensive trips and outings, never having to pay because they understood his situation and valued his company. He even dated a few of their sisters, and several of their parents offered him internships at their companies. When he graduated, he received multiple job offers through those same connections. Just last week, he returned from a trip to Australia with several of his high school friends—on a private jet. When you excel in sports, music, or simply have that “it” factor, doors open that wealth alone can’t unlock. Attending a private school can truly create lifelong opportunities.

Like Saltburn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If private school tuition is 30k a year and you instead invest this money at 7% returns from age 5 through 18, you'll have over 600k by college age. If this 600k was invested another 12 years until 30 it would become almost $1.5M.

I know some people are rich enough to do both but if you can only choose one, what would it be? I think at the very least private school tuition should be cut and you give this money to your kid in young adulthood to help them with buying a house or something. I see so many people who aren't even rich sending kids to private and I just wonder why they do this when it would be way more impactful to their children's future to just invest the money to gift to them as adults.

ROI should never be considered when talking about education or frankly much else.

Maybe, but a bright kid with a K-12 public education who then goes to college debt free and is given a huge downpayment is going to have more job/life options than a kid who went to private school, then the same college as kid 1, but maybe some debt and no down payment or way less inheritance because mom and dad sent all the kids to private school.

What about the bright kid a private education who goes to college debt free and is given a huge downpayment and plenty of inheritance?

Doesn’t sound like OP’s demographic.

Decide on private child by child. Some need it more than others. It can be idiosyncratic by class each year in either public or private.

Just don’t teach in one unless you have a trust fund. That’s a pay gap you will never recover from.