Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).

This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation.

For work, no. I'm guessing your handbook doesn't specify a different consequence for married APs vs single APs?
But I can see you judging from here, so please don't confuse workplace policy with your own sense of morals or ethics.

Found the AP!

PP you replied to. I am telling you this kindly: no one cares who is married and who is carrying on with who. You must protect your workplace environment, for your own good. Now this can be done one of three ways:

1. Pretending nothing happened, if it makes your life easier. Consider short term and long term.
2. Tell them privately, and verbally, that they need to be more discreet otherwise the matter goes to HR, as per policy.
3. Go directly to HR, per policy.

Before taking any of these steps, you might want to talk to the other senior person on the emails.

MORALITY DOES NOT COME INTO IT. You have to choose wisely according to your best interests. This will depend on your workplace culture, what are the likely consequences for each of these options, and the repercussions to you.

Personal morality always comes into it!! Just because you have no morals, doesn't mean you can expect others to be the same.

You can be as anally retentive as you like on certain topics, but here you don't know what really transpired. Maybe the married person is separated from their spouse and divorcing, and not telling anyone yet. Without full knowledge of the issue, and in such circumstances you hardly ever have full knowledge of the issue, it's not necessarily moral to denounce their relationship. This is why most people responded by saying they would do nothing. Nothing protects everyone, including you.

But people like you, who don't have two neurons to rub together and therefore can only manage a mere caricature of morality, will jump to conclusions and make life worse for everyone.

DP. I image they are using work email to carry on in case the wife looks through the husband’s personal phone.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess she is supposedly clueless that he is not married so he lied to her. Let me guess also that he is probably at a higher level than her so she fears for her career. In a couple of months you will hear that she sued the company and a few months later the company will settle. She will collect her money and start her career elsewhere with boat load of money.

Men please stop being stupid. Do not understand any circumstances have any kind of relationship with any woman at your job. I don't care if you are both single. You have a lot more to lose. The women can't do anything wrong romantically at the work place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess she is supposedly clueless that he is not married so he lied to her. Let me guess also that he is probably at a higher level than her so she fears for her career. In a couple of months you will hear that she sued the company and a few months later the company will settle. She will collect her money and start her career elsewhere with boat load of money.

Men please stop being stupid. Do not understand any circumstances have any kind of relationship with any woman at your job. I don't care if you are both single. You have a lot more to lose. The women can't do anything wrong romantically at the work place.

This is spot on. The man always ends up in the worst position in these situations. Never, ever F around with anyone from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess she is supposedly clueless that he is not married so he lied to her. Let me guess also that he is probably at a higher level than her so she fears for her career. In a couple of months you will hear that she sued the company and a few months later the company will settle. She will collect her money and start her career elsewhere with boat load of money.

Men please stop being stupid. Do not understand any circumstances have any kind of relationship with any woman at your job. I don't care if you are both single. You have a lot more to lose. The women can't do anything wrong romantically at the work place.

Did you not read the original post?