End of Year Banquet Questions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

+1,000,000 very well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

+1,000,000 very well said.

Agree! The ability to pursue things for the joy of it, rather than solely for external validation, is a freeing mindset that we should teach our kids. And, understanding that accolades are often out of our control is a powerful lesson. We should not "protect" them from disappointment.

[Anonymous]

It’s catered and we pay. Potlucks suck

[Anonymous]

Our team has the banquet at the pool the night of a divisionals. Big cost to rent the tent, table and chairs plus a ton of volunteers needed to set up and take everything down. For years we had mission BBQ cater the meal with a Costco cake for dessert but I guess that got too expensive. One year a swim Dad catered but a ton of parents hd to volunteer to serve. This year it’s a taco place for the meal.

Prices are different based on adult or child. Probably because they order a tray of Chik fil a nuggets and only let kids eat from there. It’s about $100 this year for a family of 4. Everyone brings their own drinks and appetizers because it takes so long for everyone to get through the line and get their food. We often don’t have enough seating despite it being an RSVP event.

At the banquet all 8 and unders get trophies. Ever huh one else gets a medal. Trophies for highest point scorer in each gender and age group for A and B meets which sounds better than what some pools are doing. The most improved and sportsmanship are usually a joke as the coaches pick their favorites and don’t use any real data to quantify the most improved. Awards aren’t terribly long and then it’s a slideshow and late night swim.

The annoying part for our tea is the night before divisionals. They do paper plate awards at the pep rally and they don’t seem
To understand the origin of paper plate awards. The whole idea is that everyone gets one and there is a story that is shared. Our team Sometimes has big kids do them for little kids but they don’t know these kids. Then the coaches also do paper plates but not for everyone. Multiple years in a row my kid got the exact same paper plate award from the big kid and a coach!!!

The paper plate awards form the junior coaches are also often inappropriate either form a Safesport standpoint or almost bullying. They made fun a girl for being tall and a boy for being in a cast. The parents all laugh along as my husband and I are quietly WTF!!! Many parents share later how they hate it yet our reps aren’t changing it. The few times we’ve actually gotten a survey I always complain about this.

So many of us summer swim parents are teachers and we can help make these things inclusive and appropriate. The snotty moms need to get out of the way and stop saying things like “boys will boys” or “they’re just having fun with their friends”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

I am not sure what I think about this.

I agree with the general concept of what you are saying if it's sort of concrete achievement-based things. There are winners and losers and sometimes you don't get picked and all that. But you're basically saying your one kid doesn't have as outgoing of a personality and doesn't get noticed. I do think a good culture in any activity finds a way to notice all different types of personalities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

I am not sure what I think about this.

I agree with the general concept of what you are saying if it's sort of concrete achievement-based things. There are winners and losers and sometimes you don't get picked and all that. But you're basically saying your one kid doesn't have as outgoing of a personality and doesn't get noticed. I do think a good culture in any activity finds a way to notice all different types of personalities.

Totally- she actually does get recognized for other things (primarily her swimming and being a great little kid coach now that she's older) but she just wasn't the kid that was socializing with everyone, or cheering a ton. She is much more outgoing and social now, but it took a lot of years for her to feel comfortable in big groups. So I get your concern, for sure, but I think it was fine the way it happened. Me interfering, or going to the team reps/coach would not have changed anything, if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

I am not sure what I think about this.

I agree with the general concept of what you are saying if it's sort of concrete achievement-based things. There are winners and losers and sometimes you don't get picked and all that. But you're basically saying your one kid doesn't have as outgoing of a personality and doesn't get noticed. I do think a good culture in any activity finds a way to notice all different types of personalities.

Totally- she actually does get recognized for other things (primarily her swimming and being a great little kid coach now that she's older) but she just wasn't the kid that was socializing with everyone, or cheering a ton. She is much more outgoing and social now, but it took a lot of years for her to feel comfortable in big groups. So I get your concern, for sure, but I think it was fine the way it happened. Me interfering, or going to the team reps/coach would not have changed anything, if that makes sense.

DP. Sounds like she had to learn the lesson her own way and turned out fine in the end. On a related note, my kid's club swim coaches have basically banned parents from practices or even from being visible through the pool windows where their kids can see them. The philosophy is that the kids need to focus, listen to their coaches, and execute on what they're taught. The coaches are very good with kid psychology, having seen thousands of kids come through the club. That said, some kids bond well with certain coaches, and not with others. Once you find the right fit, your kid will grow into their athletic potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.

I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.

Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.

I am not sure what I think about this.

I agree with the general concept of what you are saying if it's sort of concrete achievement-based things. There are winners and losers and sometimes you don't get picked and all that. But you're basically saying your one kid doesn't have as outgoing of a personality and doesn't get noticed. I do think a good culture in any activity finds a way to notice all different types of personalities.

Totally- she actually does get recognized for other things (primarily her swimming and being a great little kid coach now that she's older) but she just wasn't the kid that was socializing with everyone, or cheering a ton. She is much more outgoing and social now, but it took a lot of years for her to feel comfortable in big groups. So I get your concern, for sure, but I think it was fine the way it happened. Me interfering, or going to the team reps/coach would not have changed anything, if that makes sense.

DP. I have two kids. I think this is the type of perspective that I really appreciate when I talk to my friends who have 3+ kids. It’s a broader view of personalities and development than many of us have when we’re “in it” - in the middle and too close and personal to our kids and their hopes and disappointments.

[Anonymous]

Our team’s paper plate awards are frustrating. About 35 paper plate awards for 230+swimmers and 15 coaches. That’s only three plates per coach. Then the paper plate awards usually go to board members kids over and over again, who are also highlighted in most of the social media posts. Then a slide show which also highlights the board members kids and their besties. It’s sad and pathetic, and could be so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our team’s paper plate awards are frustrating. About 35 paper plate awards for 230+swimmers and 15 coaches. That’s only three plates per coach. Then the paper plate awards usually go to board members kids over and over again, who are also highlighted in most of the social media posts. Then a slide show which also highlights the board members kids and their besties. It’s sad and pathetic, and could be so much better.

Seen this too, but include the team reps' and team officials' kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our team’s paper plate awards are frustrating. About 35 paper plate awards for 230+swimmers and 15 coaches. That’s only three plates per coach. Then the paper plate awards usually go to board members kids over and over again, who are also highlighted in most of the social media posts. Then a slide show which also highlights the board members kids and their besties. It’s sad and pathetic, and could be so much better.

Seen this too, but include the team reps' and team officials' kids.

Ours does not include the officials. But, the team rep kids barely can swim and one complains the entire practice. It’s discouraging for the kids who practice and win

[Anonymous]

Oh - our team gives paper plates to every single team member.

We’ve had catered dinner at the pool. It was pasta in cream sauces. It sat outside in the 100 degree heat while the awards ceremony portion took place. I couldn’t eat it, it was so gross and I spent $30 for that.

[Anonymous]

Double-digit division NVSL pool. We do a potluck the evening of Divisionals - no cost to anyone. Pool closes early and we set up to tables and tents. Everyone goes through the food line and then we do awards while people are eating. Little kids get participation medals. Those who swam in Divisionals (which is most of the team, 'cause we're small) get their medals/ribbons. Coaches distribute high point awards (two per age group) and most improved trophies (one per age group) along with paper plates for every swimmer. We have less than 100 swimmers so while it isn't short, it's also not insanely long. Awesome slideshow, then kids swim in the pool until 10 p.m. Many people leave after slideshow but enough stay to swim. The posts in this thread really make me appreciate our team. Everyone gets recognized and slideshow photos are evenly distributed. We love banquet night!

[Anonymous]

Paper plate awards would be so much more meaningful if a coach/other person designed it, write a note on the back, and delivered it privately. This whole “we must share all publicly” never ends well, either due to boredom, embarrassment, sheer team size, lack of originality, people being left out, favoritism, etc. How nice it would be for a child to go to their door/mailbox and find a handwritten paper plate with a note from someone in authority about the child? And how nice for people to collect anecdotes throughout the season so they could write something meaningful to each child? Take it out of the banquet and make it more personalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paper plate awards would be so much more meaningful if a coach/other person designed it, [*wrote] a note on the back, and delivered it privately. This whole “we must share all publicly” never ends well, either due to boredom, embarrassment, sheer team size, lack of originality, people being left out, favoritism, etc. How nice it would be for a child to go to their door/mailbox and find a handwritten paper plate with a note from someone in authority about the child? And how nice for people to collect anecdotes throughout the season so they could write something meaningful to each child? Take it out of the banquet and make it more personalized.

Edit: *wrote