End of Year Banquet Questions

[Anonymous]

In the alternative, have awards that are based on character, sportsmanship, most improved, etc.

There are better ways to reward on a team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the divide between A meet and B meet swimmers is so painful, they should just hold two banquets. Also for the kids going to bed crying because they got a made up award, there is nothing stopping them from doing swim year round.

Except, for some, the cost. Get your head out of your bubble.

So other than prohibiting year round swimmers from doing summer swim, how do you resolve this?

I am tired of every award being eliminated so those that don't get awards feel better about themselves. It happens in our schools way too often. And now in Sports too???

The corollary to this is every swimmer gets an award, or worse, that certain parents lobby the coaches and team reps to make sure their kid gets "most improved" or "swimmer of the season" award where the kid didn't contribute much to the team actually winning meets. Parents living vicariously through their kids, seeking validation of their parenting, or the adulation of other parents are all narcissistic behavior.

I agree with the PP that year round swimmers know performance is the only thing that matters in a competitive sport. And before anyone says that summer swim is supposed to be fun, and performance doesn't matter, why does MCSL run virtual meets and compare times to decide divisions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the alternative, have awards that are based on character, sportsmanship, most improved, etc.

There are better ways to reward on a team.

That requires coaches to be immune from parental influence, which is unlikely if they want to keep their jobs for the next summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our families have to pay to attend. This year it’s $200 for our family of 4.

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What on earth are they serving for $50/person?

We always did potluck which I actually didn't mind, but I am not a germaphobe.

Moved to catered meal a few years ago that the team pays for. Families must register vis google form to get accurate head count.

[Anonymous]

Our banquet is desserts only. No charge.

Our team does lots of awards and about 90 percent of the awards and the stories that go with them go to the A meet kids. My kid (an occasional A meet swimmer but not regular one) went to one banquet, skipped the next couple, and eventually quit the team.

I do not at all begrudge the kids and families who have a great experience and feel part of the team and enjoy the whole experience. If it's not your kids' thing, your kid will find something else to fill their time. Mine did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your team pick up the cost for this? Do you do a potluck? Require families to register? Our team has been paying for this event for a number of years but are contemplating going to potluck style next year.

On the team we belong to, families bring their own individual meals that they eat during the awards portion (think Cava, Chik-fil-A, homemade food, etc.). During the pool party that follows, desserts, snacks, and drinks are served, funded by the swim team budget. I've really liked this approach. It moderates the cost to the team, while also not asking parents to shell out any additional money.

[Anonymous]

We have the option of either buying into a moderately priced group catering option (one year it was Chipotle, for example) at about $16pp or bringing our own food. The paper plates take forever, but they are really heartfelt and there is genuinely a story for every kid.

[Anonymous]

Do any teams have their banquet at the pool, which is still open, on a weekday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Flashback. Every year as a mediocre swimmer I would get so irrationally hyped before the banquet would just hope and hope that I would win a real award. The coaches would push coming to the last practices even if you didn’t qualify, and I was always there like an eager fool hoping to put in the last bits of work before the banquet.

Maybe it would be the year a coach finally noticed my hard work even if my times sucked? Maybe there would be new award categories?!

Our pool awarded trophies to everyone with a base size that reflected how well you did. I always got the flat plain base participation trophy with the swimmer statue glued directly on it. Some years they did away with that and just did participation certificates. I hated my brother and the girls who got the super tall colored trophies for high points and stuff. The worst were the years when one kid would get both high points and most improved. I know trophies are a dime a dozen now and kids get them for breathing, but back then kids actually displayed and compared them and they were rare. My team wasn’t the best but somehow my age group had girls who went on to D1 and top D3s.

I quit the year after I was a 13-14 and they gave me a made-up trophy because there were only 3 girls in my age group and I didn’t get high points or most improved. For many years after 9-10s my brother was the only boy in his age group and also did dive and would be given a box for his awards at the end of the night. My parents would make me wait while they took a million photos of him on the pool steps with his hardware.

I remember crying in my bed after those stupid banquets!

As a mediocre swimmer, I remember feeling the same way as you (maybe not the tears though, definitely the disappointment), except I kept going through graduating as a 15-18 for my MCSL team. Why? I don't really know. Probably because I was at the pool anyway.

Then I was inexplicably hired as an assistant coach the year after I graduated because the head coach knew how hard I worked despite being a mediocre swimmer.

Then after two summers as an assistant coach (and time as a PVS coach), I was hired as a head coach of another team.

I vividly remember, after my experiences as a swimmer, that nothing brought me greater joy than giving out the discretionary coach's awards for the most spirited boy and girl and hardest working boy and girl. I intentionally avoided giving them to the kids who were getting the massive high point trophies and long course plaques. I anguished over those awards. And a few years I convinced the reps to let me give out more than I was allotted. That's what keeps the buy-in from the kids who are not club swimmers and never will be.

And I also limited paper plate awards to 15 minutes. Because yeah, those can get a little out of hand.

Summer swim is supposed to be fun. I wish more coaches came from the same place you and I were.

[Anonymous]

We have ours at the pool, food provided by the swim team. That said, as an occasional A meet family, we also always hate the emotional baggage that comes from awards. Our team does NOT do plate awards for everyone so that means some people get a ton of recognition (after also being recognized all season long) and other kids are left sitting there wondering if their name will ever get called. I actually just wish I knew ahead of time if my kid was going to get an award because the anticipation of each award hearing “this plate award is going to a great kid, who showed up with a smile every practice, etc etc etc” and then my kid never getting anything kindof sucks. It wouldn’t be bad if it was 5 awards but when this drags out for an hour, it’s too much to ask of anyone (including adults!)

[Anonymous]

Ours has varied over the years. The last couple have been at the pool and the team buys pizza. Nobody really uses the terms “A meet swimmer” and “B meet swimmer”. If you can swim you are probably going to be needed in an A meet.

[Anonymous]

We are paying $80 for a family of four. It is held at a local country club.

[Anonymous]

Our banquet is at the pool on Saturday evening. Pool closes early for everyone but the swim team.

No cost. Food and drinks are covered by the swim team budget. Every 8&U gets a trophy. For each age group, there are also awards for most points, most improved, best sportsmanship (and maybe a few others). The junior coaches also do a fun award that goes to every swimmer in an age group -- dollar store toys, etc., but with a story behind it.

It's a fun and late night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our banquet is desserts only. No charge.

Our team does lots of awards and about 90 percent of the awards and the stories that go with them go to the A meet kids. My kid (an occasional A meet swimmer but not regular one) went to one banquet, skipped the next couple, and eventually quit the team.

I do not at all begrudge the kids and families who have a great experience and feel part of the team and enjoy the whole experience. If it's not your kids' thing, your kid will find something else to fill their time. Mine did.

All our awards went to the team rep and her friends kids... the high preformers got nothing (yes, we left).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have ours at the pool, food provided by the swim team. That said, as an occasional A meet family, we also always hate the emotional baggage that comes from awards. Our team does NOT do plate awards for everyone so that means some people get a ton of recognition (after also being recognized all season long) and other kids are left sitting there wondering if their name will ever get called. I actually just wish I knew ahead of time if my kid was going to get an award because the anticipation of each award hearing “this plate award is going to a great kid, who showed up with a smile every practice, etc etc etc” and then my kid never getting anything kindof sucks. It wouldn’t be bad if it was 5 awards but when this drags out for an hour, it’s too much to ask of anyone (including adults!)

Agreed. This really sucks for kids who aren't natural athletes, but try hard and make friends with everyone. Banquets that are just a way to recognize the coaches' pets, or to curry favor with the team reps/officials, are a waste of time.

Id rather do something fun with my kids and make a great family memory. Their absence won't be noticed.