Sleepovers are making me lose my sanity

[Anonymous]

I hate sleepover and totally respect parents who from an early age said "no sleepovers ever." I really wish I had done that.

I finally got a backbone last summer and said- no more until further notice and now they are only allowed once a month and only allowed with certain families.

Our DD was grumpy about it for a few weeks but we just explained it is too disruptive for two working adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

It's creepy to lash out and call people "insane" for not wanting to do sleepovers. It's one thing to disagree, but respect someone's choice, but to be so adamant makes me wonder about you. Plenty of child detectives and others who work for the police department have come out and said they don't let their kids do sleepovers and neither should you.

[Anonymous]

I come from a zero sleepover family.
Complete opposite for our two kids.

We welcome and encourage them honestly.

Our kids and the friends and family all know the rules . I also have zero problem enforcing any rules and letting parents know if they are any issues.

However, I also understand if families don’t care for them.

Zero judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

You suck as a mom honestly. Some of my best memories as a kid were sleepovers and my 22 and 17yr old have said the same. We even had Girl Scout troops set up tents and camp in the backyard. Both my girls had 1st day of school sleepovers every year middle to high school. Senior year for my oldest we had 8 girls here. So many great memories for them and myself.

To hold such a harsh and negative line just means you need some therapy and your kids will forever resent the type of parent you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

It's creepy to lash out and call people "insane" for not wanting to do sleepovers. It's one thing to disagree, but respect someone's choice, but to be so adamant makes me wonder about you. Plenty of child detectives and others who work for the police department have come out and said they don't let their kids do sleepovers and neither should you.

Look, I'm the person you're responding to and I actually WAS sexually assaulted by a friend's older brother at one (in ES). So, I get the risk. I also get that I do things differently than my boomer parents in terms of vetting where my kid goes, talking about sex and violence, etc. But, even if you don't approve of that (and I don't care) this is MORE of a reason to host. And why I did.

And I didn't "Call people insane for not wanting to do sleepovers". I called them insane b/c of the overprotectiveness (generally) and for not recognizing the social aspect of them and how important they are to social development. Kids not allowed to do them are left out. They just are. I've seen it. I've heard about it. I've read it on these boards. If you want to handicap your kid - don't allow them or host. Your kid. Your kid's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

Disagree. They aren’t that common anymore. My kid goes to 7 week sleepaway camp, but doesn’t do sleepovers. I’m not strongly opposed to them, but I certainly wouldn’t do it more than once per month. However, my child doesn’t ask and neither do their friends, with the exception of some event like going out of town with a family we are good friends or something.

Bullsh--. I have a teen daughter. Your experience is limited to you. Mine hosts and attends sleepovers all the time and so do my friends' kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

Disagree. They aren’t that common anymore. My kid goes to 7 week sleepaway camp, but doesn’t do sleepovers. I’m not strongly opposed to them, but I certainly wouldn’t do it more than once per month. However, my child doesn’t ask and neither do their friends, with the exception of some event like going out of town with a family we are good friends or something.

Bullsh--. I have a teen daughter. Your experience is limited to you. Mine hosts and attends sleepovers all the time and so do my friends' kids.

Ok, and many people don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

It's creepy to lash out and call people "insane" for not wanting to do sleepovers. It's one thing to disagree, but respect someone's choice, but to be so adamant makes me wonder about you. Plenty of child detectives and others who work for the police department have come out and said they don't let their kids do sleepovers and neither should you.

Look, I'm the person you're responding to and I actually WAS sexually assaulted by a friend's older brother at one (in ES). So, I get the risk. I also get that I do things differently than my boomer parents in terms of vetting where my kid goes, talking about sex and violence, etc. But, even if you don't approve of that (and I don't care) this is MORE of a reason to host. And why I did.

And I didn't "Call people insane for not wanting to do sleepovers". I called them insane b/c of the overprotectiveness (generally) and for not recognizing the social aspect of them and how important they are to social development. Kids not allowed to do them are left out. They just are. I've seen it. I've heard about it. I've read it on these boards. If you want to handicap your kid - don't allow them or host. Your kid. Your kid's problem.

Are you me? And yep I still encourage and don't mind sleepovers ..At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

Disagree. They aren’t that common anymore. My kid goes to 7 week sleepaway camp, but doesn’t do sleepovers. I’m not strongly opposed to them, but I certainly wouldn’t do it more than once per month. However, my child doesn’t ask and neither do their friends, with the exception of some event like going out of town with a family we are good friends or something.

Bullsh--. I have a teen daughter. Your experience is limited to you. Mine hosts and attends sleepovers all the time and so do my friends' kids.

Ok, and many people don’t.

Those kids suffer socially, too, and are often excluded. But no one is telling you that you have to care about your kid being included. that's on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is very lucky. At our house, there are zero sleepovers. We do not host them ever. Our DC are not allowed to attend them elsewhere. When they go away to college, then they can choose. Not on my watch.

As an adult child of a very controlling mother who made socializing near impossible, your post makes me sad. FWIW, once I left home, I never looked back. Spoke to my mother maybe every few months, told her nearly nothing about my life, because she always disapproved of any choice I made. Be careful how you control your kids.

It’s not controlling to say no to sleepovers. Your issues with your mother go way deeper than sleepovers.

OP, it’s fine to say no, anytime. Sleepovers are not essential to a heathy social life.

Of its controlling. Wtf?
And I disagree they aren’t essential. They’re common in the US and not only a social thing, but a way to cut the apron strings a bit.

You all are insane.

Disagree. They aren’t that common anymore. My kid goes to 7 week sleepaway camp, but doesn’t do sleepovers. I’m not strongly opposed to them, but I certainly wouldn’t do it more than once per month. However, my child doesn’t ask and neither do their friends, with the exception of some event like going out of town with a family we are good friends or something.

Bullsh--. I have a teen daughter. Your experience is limited to you. Mine hosts and attends sleepovers all the time and so do my friends' kids.

Ok, and many people don’t.

Those kids suffer socially, too, and are often excluded. But no one is telling you that you have to care about your kid being included. that's on you.

They really don’t. I promise.