Can anyone think of a society that doesn't value community?

[Anonymous]

By definition, "society" is a group, a "community" so your question is tautological.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Pakistan for a few years for work. This was an EXTREME example of a society that does not value community.

Family groups are large and insular, their own micro communities, and socializing is done mostly in the family group. It is very common to marry within the family group as well, with cousin marriage being common and considered a positive thing. The government is corrupt and ineffective, and this is a low-trust society with much crime and dishonesty, violence and scams and so many people willing to do whatever it takes to scrabble out any advantage they can for themselves/their own family group: it is actually dangerous in many cases to stray too far from the family home/unit. It was a very different world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the US is the country that doesn't value community. Because sOcIaLiSm. People value their perceived community but the US is too full of "others" for people to want to be communal with them.

I feel like people posting these type of statements are projecting. There are plenty of wonderful communities in the US of people who are friends with each other and help each other out. If you live in a blue, urban, transient area with dual income families that prioritize their careers, then no you won’t have as much of a sense of community. There is also less sense of a community the more diverse a place is. It’s human nature to want to hang out with your own kind as much as you can’t stand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the US is the country that doesn't value community. Because sOcIaLiSm. People value their perceived community but the US is too full of "others" for people to want to be communal with them.

I feel like people posting these type of statements are projecting. There are plenty of wonderful communities in the US of people who are friends with each other and help each other out. If you live in a blue, urban, transient area with dual income families that prioritize their careers, then no you won’t have as much of a sense of community. There is also less sense of a community the more diverse a place is. It’s human nature to want to hang out with your own kind as much as you can’t stand that.

I live somewhere very diverse, like a burb version of Queens. I'd say it does value community: people rally around school activities, sports, volunteering, neighborhoods... The key is to focus on commonalities and not differences while embracing the differences brought by each person. It can be done and I feel like it is actually especially well done in the US compared to many countries as an immigrant myself because many countries have "the norm" and if you deviate you are not as accepted. Maybe some areas are more insular than mine though.

[Anonymous]

MAGA society. Hates community and promotes individual gains over universal gains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
***
Real communities have traditions they maintain and are helpful:

Sport team players
Church or temple or mosque active members
Active alumni groups
Sororities and fraternities
Neighborhoods that are friendly and caring/ look out for another
In person hobby groups
Extended families with traditions and gatherings

***

Most of these do not apply to me.

Why not!?

Pick one and make it happen Pp!

[Anonymous]

My spouse and his parents are all aspergers so don’t socialize and find it awkward to socialize.

Thus they stay home, don’t go out to dinner (someone annoys the waitstaff), don’t go on vacations or trips (can’t plan, overwhelmed, prefer to stay in), and never played or watched sports (too confusing, can’t follow, uncoordinated), and don’t host or attend social functions because they upset, confuse and annoy others. And never got help or therapy for the exec functioning or social aspects of it. Just for the reading part of their Dxs.

So that’s their excuse.

Half their adult children are in their 40s and still live with them. No one goes out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and his parents are all aspergers so don’t socialize and find it awkward to socialize.

Thus they stay home, don’t go out to dinner (someone annoys the waitstaff), don’t go on vacations or trips (can’t plan, overwhelmed, prefer to stay in), and never played or watched sports (too confusing, can’t follow, uncoordinated), and don’t host or attend social functions because they upset, confuse and annoy others. And never got help or therapy for the exec functioning or social aspects of it. Just for the reading part of their Dxs.

So that’s their excuse.

Half their adult children are in their 40s and still live with them. No one goes out.

But they are a community and you married into it. It’s not an excuse, it’s just how they are and want to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MAGA society. Hates community and promotes individual gains over universal gains.

Universal gains means I get one of your kidneys. You have two after all and I just need one.

[Anonymous]

Do we value community in the US, though? If that’s your premise, I disagree.

[Anonymous]

Langley/McLean/Great Falls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the US is the country that doesn't value community. Because sOcIaLiSm. People value their perceived community but the US is too full of "others" for people to want to be communal with them.

I feel like people posting these type of statements are projecting. There are plenty of wonderful communities in the US of people who are friends with each other and help each other out. If you live in a blue, urban, transient area with dual income families that prioritize their careers, then no you won’t have as much of a sense of community. There is also less sense of a community the more diverse a place is. It’s human nature to want to hang out with your own kind as much as you can’t stand that.

+1

It’s probably all one troll posting and applying cliches wrongly. Oh well. I love my various communities! And we got even more of them after having kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and his parents are all aspergers so don’t socialize and find it awkward to socialize.

Thus they stay home, don’t go out to dinner (someone annoys the waitstaff), don’t go on vacations or trips (can’t plan, overwhelmed, prefer to stay in), and never played or watched sports (too confusing, can’t follow, uncoordinated), and don’t host or attend social functions because they upset, confuse and annoy others. And never got help or therapy for the exec functioning or social aspects of it. Just for the reading part of their Dxs.

So that’s their excuse.

Half their adult children are in their 40s and still live with them. No one goes out.

But they are a community and you married into it. It’s not an excuse, it’s just how they are and want to live.

A codependent insular anti-social family of origin of 3-4. What will happen once the matriarch goes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in Pakistan for a few years for work. This was an EXTREME example of a society that does not value community.

Family groups are large and insular, their own micro communities, and socializing is done mostly in the family group. It is very common to marry within the family group as well, with cousin marriage being common and considered a positive thing. The government is corrupt and ineffective, and this is a low-trust society with much crime and dishonesty, violence and scams and so many people willing to do whatever it takes to scrabble out any advantage they can for themselves/their own family group: it is actually dangerous in many cases to stray too far from the family home/unit. It was a very different world.

I’d argue in some degree that the idea of community here is very intact - this is why in many cultures, “cousins” are a very integral part of family, and thus, are community, or “the village”.

Americans, in general, don’t often maintain those familial connections, nor do they foster societal ones, and thus have no community. It’s very much perceived to be an asset to be able to do it all alone.

[Anonymous]

I don't get people saying Americans don't value family or community. The US is one of the most charitable countries, with many volunteer organizations, faith-based organizations, and aside from some selfish boomers I know, families are close and help each other. That they don't want to live together full time, all the time doesn't mean lack of love and support.