Did anyone's kid choose quality of life/social factors over prestige?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine anyone sending a child to Columbia in this current environment, so that wouldn't even be a consideration at my house. Penn, maybe.

But I would take UVA over Penn any day.

I'm not going to say that nothing is happening at Columbia because that would be lying and only Donald Trump is allowed to do that, but things at Columbia really are not as bad on a day to day basis as Trump, Fox News, and the rest of them want you to think. And I am a Jew who is frequently in the neighborhood of Columbia.

That being said, based on the description of the kid, I don't think it is the best fit. But not because of "this current environment."

Oh, of course not. But will you at least allow that different people have different views on how "bad" things are? Just because you're used to it, as an adult living in the area, does not mean that it doesn't impact students who have to deal with it in a different way on a daily basis.

My view is definitely not universal - you are correct. I despise all of the posters here who act like they speak for everyone.

But my opinion is a lot more informed than 95% of the posters here. I am a Jew who is more likely to be concerned about this. I live nearby. I know a lot of kids and faculty there. So I feel like I have a good perspective.

And those stirring up much of the drama have a tendency for hyperbole and to spin news in a way that creates drama. Anyone who doesn't take Fox News (and MSNBC) with a grain of salt should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

+1

This is a huge problem within the Jewish community right now. So much of what I hear and read about what “Jewish parents” think does not apply to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine anyone sending a child to Columbia in this current environment, so that wouldn't even be a consideration at my house. Penn, maybe.

But I would take UVA over Penn any day.

I'm not going to say that nothing is happening at Columbia because that would be lying and only Donald Trump is allowed to do that, but things at Columbia really are not as bad on a day to day basis as Trump, Fox News, and the rest of them want you to think. And I am a Jew who is frequently in the neighborhood of Columbia.

That being said, based on the description of the kid, I don't think it is the best fit. But not because of "this current environment."

Oh, of course not. But will you at least allow that different people have different views on how "bad" things are? Just because you're used to it, as an adult living in the area, does not mean that it doesn't impact students who have to deal with it in a different way on a daily basis.

My view is definitely not universal - you are correct. I despise all of the posters here who act like they speak for everyone.

But my opinion is a lot more informed than 95% of the posters here. I am a Jew who is more likely to be concerned about this. I live nearby. I know a lot of kids and faculty there. So I feel like I have a good perspective.

And those stirring up much of the drama have a tendency for hyperbole and to spin news in a way that creates drama. Anyone who doesn't take Fox News (and MSNBC) with a grain of salt should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

+1

This is a huge problem within the Jewish community right now. So much of what I hear and read about what “Jewish parents” think does not apply to me.

I am the poster of the post you responded to and also a Jew and I agree with you 100%. I have a very nuanced perspective on things and no one gives me a second to explain. I do not appreciate Trump inserting himself into the situation - the way he is handling things is not helping. Something needed to be done but this is not the righit answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

In this and your previous descriptions, your DD and mine sound like twins. If that’s true, my vote is to stick with UVA.

Your DD has done extraordinarily well with the expectations and challenges of high school and the college admissions process. She’s clearly going to excel wherever she goes.

Given that the college she chooses will be her home for the next four years, let her choose the one that feels the most comfortable to her.

Finally, my DD is class of 2026 and is not even applying to Columbia or Penn. Would she find her people and find a way to ge happy at either school? Of course. But it would be a harder path given that neither fits what she wants in terms of campus personality for all the reasons you describe. (Wants bigger sports focus and less of an urban setting.)

UVA is an excellent school. Let her decide where she’d FEEL the most at home.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is committed to UVA (out of state and chose over Berkeley, Michigan, Northwestern and a few others) and very excited about it but about 10 days ago got off the waitlists for SEAS at both Penn and Columbia. DC was given roughly 2 weeks to decide by each school because of pending financial aid (we receive(d) a minimal amount as we have 2 older kids in college).
DC really wants to stick with UVA because they believe it will be a more enjoyable, well-rounded. classic college experience.
Major is uncertain but probably statistics/data science or economics. DC applied to different majors at each school and I'm not actually sure what.

What would you do as a parent in this situation? All the schools will end up costing about the same (roughly $75K/year give or take).
Did your kid make a similar choice?

Same choice (UVA) over Brown.

It killed me inside a little bit at the time tbh but he is so happy at UVA. He knew a lot of people going in and he made a ton of new friends, many from this area that he didn't know before. I would not risk this college experience he is having for a marginal improvement and frankly unless it's HYPSM the difference is marginal if he is going to go to grad school.

Let him go to UVA. Neither of the

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they wanted a single room, generous scholarship, close to public transit, and those the college that could meet those needs.

What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine anyone sending a child to Columbia in this current environment, so that wouldn't even be a consideration at my house. Penn, maybe.

But I would take UVA over Penn any day.

I'm not going to say that nothing is happening at Columbia because that would be lying and only Donald Trump is allowed to do that, but things at Columbia really are not as bad on a day to day basis as Trump, Fox News, and the rest of them want you to think. And I am a Jew who is frequently in the neighborhood of Columbia.

That being said, based on the description of the kid, I don't think it is the best fit. But not because of "this current environment."

Oh, of course not. But will you at least allow that different people have different views on how "bad" things are? Just because you're used to it, as an adult living in the area, does not mean that it doesn't impact students who have to deal with it in a different way on a daily basis.

My view is definitely not universal - you are correct. I despise all of the posters here who act like they speak for everyone.

But my opinion is a lot more informed than 95% of the posters here. I am a Jew who is more likely to be concerned about this. I live nearby. I know a lot of kids and faculty there. So I feel like I have a good perspective.

And those stirring up much of the drama have a tendency for hyperbole and to spin news in a way that creates drama. Anyone who doesn't take Fox News (and MSNBC) with a grain of salt should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

+1

This is a huge problem within the Jewish community right now. So much of what I hear and read about what “Jewish parents” think does not apply to me.

I am the poster of the post you responded to and also a Jew and I agree with you 100%. I have a very nuanced perspective on things and no one gives me a second to explain. I do not appreciate Trump inserting himself into the situation - the way he is handling things is not helping. Something needed to be done but this is not the righit answer.

Amen, sister.

DH and I long ago lost interest in discussing our nuanced perspective with those who clearly are not open to it. This includes some of our closest friends. They don’t hesitate to talk/rant when we’re together, but when (if) it comes back around to us, we just say, “yeah, it’s complicated,” in an agreeably sympathetic voice. It’s true - it IS complicated. But after some pretty awful attempts to explain our nuanced POV, we just leave it there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC is committed to UVA (out of state and chose over Berkeley, Michigan, Northwestern and a few others) and very excited about it but about 10 days ago got off the waitlists for SEAS at both Penn and Columbia. DC was given roughly 2 weeks to decide by each school because of pending financial aid (we receive(d) a minimal amount as we have 2 older kids in college).
DC really wants to stick with UVA because they believe it will be a more enjoyable, well-rounded. classic college experience.
Major is uncertain but probably statistics/data science or economics. DC applied to different majors at each school and I'm not actually sure what.

What would you do as a parent in this situation? All the schools will end up costing about the same (roughly $75K/year give or take).
Did your kid make a similar choice?

Same choice (UVA) over Brown.

It killed me inside a little bit at the time tbh but he is so happy at UVA. He knew a lot of people going in and he made a ton of new friends, many from this area that he didn't know before. I would not risk this college experience he is having for a marginal improvement and frankly unless it's HYPSM the difference is marginal if he is going to go to grad school.

Let him go to UVA. Neither of the alternatives you listed are worth any loss of happiness during those 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Yes my DS chose UW Seattle over Amherst. As he got closer to graduating, he realized he wanted a bigger school and bigger city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine anyone sending a child to Columbia in this current environment, so that wouldn't even be a consideration at my house. Penn, maybe.

But I would take UVA over Penn any day.

I'm not going to say that nothing is happening at Columbia because that would be lying and only Donald Trump is allowed to do that, but things at Columbia really are not as bad on a day to day basis as Trump, Fox News, and the rest of them want you to think. And I am a Jew who is frequently in the neighborhood of Columbia.

That being said, based on the description of the kid, I don't think it is the best fit. But not because of "this current environment."

Oh, of course not. But will you at least allow that different people have different views on how "bad" things are? Just because you're used to it, as an adult living in the area, does not mean that it doesn't impact students who have to deal with it in a different way on a daily basis.

My view is definitely not universal - you are correct. I despise all of the posters here who act like they speak for everyone.

But my opinion is a lot more informed than 95% of the posters here. I am a Jew who is more likely to be concerned about this. I live nearby. I know a lot of kids and faculty there. So I feel like I have a good perspective.

And those stirring up much of the drama have a tendency for hyperbole and to spin news in a way that creates drama. Anyone who doesn't take Fox News (and MSNBC) with a grain of salt should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery.

+1

This is a huge problem within the Jewish community right now. So much of what I hear and read about what “Jewish parents” think does not apply to me.

I am the poster of the post you responded to and also a Jew and I agree with you 100%. I have a very nuanced perspective on things and no one gives me a second to explain. I do not appreciate Trump inserting himself into the situation - the way he is handling things is not helping. Something needed to be done but this is not the righit answer.

Amen, sister.

DH and I long ago lost interest in discussing our nuanced perspective with those who clearly are not open to it. This includes some of our closest friends. They don’t hesitate to talk/rant when we’re together, but when (if) it comes back around to us, we just say, “yeah, it’s complicated,” in an agreeably sympathetic voice. It’s true - it IS complicated. But after some pretty awful attempts to explain our nuanced POV, we just leave it there.

Yup. Totally agree. My BFF is passionately Zionist and is constantly sending my articles to read, asking me questions, etc. I agree with them on many things and in some ways appreciate their passion but they just won't stop. I was recently trying to discuss an important, stressful personal medical issue with them and they changed the topic to something Israel-related and I got very angry. I am more of an ally than a lot of other people but they are just going to drive me away.

To everyone else - sorry for the threadjack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

Penn is known as the “social ivy”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

Penn is known as the “social ivy”

Really? Not Dartmouth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

Penn is known as the “social ivy”

Penn and Cornell are well known for student suicides. The head of mental health counseling switched jobs from Cornell to U Penn and committed suicide at U Penn while head of mental health counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is committed to UVA (out of state and chose over Berkeley, Michigan, Northwestern and a few others) and very excited about it but about 10 days ago got off the waitlists for SEAS at both Penn and Columbia. DC was given roughly 2 weeks to decide by each school because of pending financial aid (we receive(d) a minimal amount as we have 2 older kids in college).
DC really wants to stick with UVA because they believe it will be a more enjoyable, well-rounded. classic college experience.
Major is uncertain but probably statistics/data science or economics. DC applied to different majors at each school and I'm not actually sure what.

What would you do as a parent in this situation? All the schools will end up costing about the same (roughly $75K/year give or take).
Did your kid make a similar choice?

Mine chose a NESCAC LAC over MIT. Math/Econ major. Spent considerable time at and around MIT because her cousin goes to NE but in the end she really felt like it wasn't her place and was drawn to the traditional LAC experience. We're fine with it, she's getting a great education and loves the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

Penn is known as the “social ivy”

Penn and Cornell are well known for student suicides. The head of mental health counseling switched jobs from Cornell to U Penn and committed suicide at U Penn while head of mental health counseling.

That was a while ago and he barely worked at Penn, had just started the job, so it doesn’t seem relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by social/quality of life? My penn seas DD picked it because of social fit and ability to continue music and be an engineer. She just finished freshman year with a 3.91. The two other top-12 she got accepted to had a similar feel but Penn edged them out with arts and collaboration among engineering evident at admitted days. UVA is very Greek-forward, fewer club spots for freshmen than penn, arts are not easy to do as an engineeri and not at all the quality of life she wanted.

I think by social I mean friendly, laid back kids, lots of parties, lots of hanging out on the lawn. And there is probably some element of wanting preppy and mainstream.
Greek forward is viewed as a positive to her. She is very smart but isn't a striver (if striver means pushing the envelope beyond what is asked) or an academic and she isn't quirky at all. No obscure interests or passions. Little career direction. She is very well-liked, very hard working, and a perfectionist. She has done very well at a challenging magnet school in highest rigor courses. But she is not entering college with passions about economics or philosophy or robotics or anything really.

Penn is known as the “social ivy”

Really? Not Dartmouth?

Correct, “the social ivy” is Penn. This is well established.