Say anything to neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

There is nothing normal about a 15 year old who is afraid to be alone!

[Anonymous]

Both OP and her 12 year old are ridiculous. Good lord, I flew as an Unaccompanied Minor to visit grandparents when I was 8 years old and was never afraid.

[Anonymous]

OP, they should not have teased. No one should be rude. They can think whatever they want -- and I agree with them, but they never should have said it. They probably like your DD very much and don't want her to be hindered in life. They probably should have said no to the favor, or should say no to a similar favor in the future, since they don't agree with your approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, a huge amount of grandparents these days would not do what these neighbors did for you. You are entitled and insane.

Lol whattttt?? I still show up at my grandparent’s house to hang out because I want the company and I’m in my 30s! You have a sad life PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

There is nothing normal about a 15 year old who is afraid to be alone!

Will you please go away???!!!!!! Of course it's normal. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

Plenty of 12 year olds are scared or the dark and being on their own. She is totally normal. And him teasing her about it was probably a way to make her feel less scared in a weird way. No one did anything wrong but this is not a good arrangement and she is not ready to be on her own.

It wasn't dark. OP said her DD would be home alone for max 2 hours until going to the bus stop at 8. I wake up at 6, it's getting to be daylight. By 6:20, the time DD went to the neighbors, it's plenty light outside.

PPs need to stop saying it's normal for a 12 yo to be scared at home alone during the day, because it's really not. It means you've instilled in your DC there's something dangerous about it or that they can't handle it. The normal 12 yo is not scared. It's something you need to work on to increase independence, not just accept.

You are truly insuferable and not normal yourself.

I'm not OP and its perfectly normal for 12 years olds to be afraid to be on their own. I moved to a different country without my parents at 17 but didn't want to stay on my own. You're just weird and wrong. It has nothing to do with independence or growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

Plenty of 12 year olds are scared or the dark and being on their own. She is totally normal. And him teasing her about it was probably a way to make her feel less scared in a weird way. No one did anything wrong but this is not a good arrangement and she is not ready to be on her own.

It wasn't dark. OP said her DD would be home alone for max 2 hours until going to the bus stop at 8. I wake up at 6, it's getting to be daylight. By 6:20, the time DD went to the neighbors, it's plenty light outside.

PPs need to stop saying it's normal for a 12 yo to be scared at home alone during the day, because it's really not. It means you've instilled in your DC there's something dangerous about it or that they can't handle it. The normal 12 yo is not scared. It's something you need to work on to increase independence, not just accept.

You are truly insuferable and not normal yourself.

I'm not OP and its perfectly normal for 12 years olds to be afraid to be on their own. I moved to a different country without my parents at 17 but didn't want to stay on my own. You're just weird and wrong. It has nothing to do with independence or growing up.

It’s sort of the definition of independence and it is not normal. My 12 yo can be home for 2 hours alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

Plenty of 12 year olds are scared or the dark and being on their own. She is totally normal. And him teasing her about it was probably a way to make her feel less scared in a weird way. No one did anything wrong but this is not a good arrangement and she is not ready to be on her own.

It wasn't dark. OP said her DD would be home alone for max 2 hours until going to the bus stop at 8. I wake up at 6, it's getting to be daylight. By 6:20, the time DD went to the neighbors, it's plenty light outside.

PPs need to stop saying it's normal for a 12 yo to be scared at home alone during the day, because it's really not. It means you've instilled in your DC there's something dangerous about it or that they can't handle it. The normal 12 yo is not scared. It's something you need to work on to increase independence, not just accept.

You are truly insuferable and not normal yourself.

I'm not OP and its perfectly normal for 12 years olds to be afraid to be on their own. I moved to a different country without my parents at 17 but didn't want to stay on my own. You're just weird and wrong. It has nothing to do with independence or growing up.

It’s sort of the definition of independence and it is not normal. My 12 yo can be home for 2 hours alone.

Well then you're just dumb if you can't see that those two things are completely different. Just STFU already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They did you a favor. The man was trying to be funny in that old man way.

Yeah, grandpa humor is the worst.

My dad still flicks our ears and says "oh, a bug got ya!" and cackles b/c he thinks it's hilarious.

Or says things like "how much does it cost to buy pants without holes in them?" or to my DD "what medical condition causes you to wear a hoodie year round?" And the timeless favorite at Christmastime or when a birthday rolls around and I send over some ideas of what the kid wants: I could build/make that cheaper. "Give me a Sharpie and I'll make him 30 pairs of Jordans!"

+1
Absolutely. They are hilarious (when you are not on the receiving end).

My mom of 84+ years living in another country, called my son in college, when she found out that he has won a prestigious opportunity and told him - "Larlo, you are handsome, have acne-free skin at last, and also have a stylish haircut now. You are going to have a good career. I want you to beware that girls will try to get their claws in you and trap you. Stay away from girls and concentrate on your career."

[Anonymous]

I think it is sweet. The grandpa is trying to joke about it so that your kid does not become an anxious person. His way of normalizing the fear and also make your DD feel comfortable around them.

It seems that your DD is not well socialized?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are quite close in a neighborly way with the retirement-aged couple who live next door. They are in their 70s but I don’t like to say “elderly” because they golf and travel and are lively. They are very early risers, too, so when a logistical emergency arose, I asked them for a favor and they seemed receptive and happy to help. I had to leave really early this morning, right at dawn. DD, who walks herself to the bus anyway and has a phone she can use and where I can track her, was going to wake when I left and then lock up and head to the bus just before 8, so like 2 hours from the time I left. She was a little apprehensive of being home in the dark, so that’s where the neighbors came in. I asked if DD12 could wander over there if she got scared, that she wouldn’t bother them, would sit in their front family room and read before she left for school. Well, not even 20 minutes after I left, she wandered over there. She told me that the woman was kind and polite and sat her in the family room area and went about her morning, but that the husband kept coming in to essentially tease her for being scared of the dark and being home alone. She’s upset. I don’t do anything, right? I thought about explaining that people that she can be weird, but thought that might be dismissive. All I know is I won’t ask them again for a favor like that.

Your kid needs to learn some resilience and develop tougher skin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

There is nothing normal about a 15 year old who is afraid to be alone!

Will you please go away???!!!!!! Of course it's normal. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head.

I'm an NP, and nope, not normal for a 15 year old.

Maybe there is room for debate as to a 12 year old. Maybe. But more concerning than the inability to be alone is the inability to handle a little light teasing from a random old neighbor who means nothing to you anyways. It should have rolled off the DD's back -- barely registered. I don't love this term, but "snowflake" comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

There is nothing normal about a 15 year old who is afraid to be alone!

Will you please go away???!!!!!! Of course it's normal. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head.

I'm an NP, and nope, not normal for a 15 year old.

Maybe there is room for debate as to a 12 year old. Maybe. But more concerning than the inability to be alone is the inability to handle a little light teasing from a random old neighbor who means nothing to you anyways. It should have rolled off the DD's back -- barely registered. I don't love this term, but "snowflake" comes to mind.

oh you definitely love it, and LOVE to use it on children.

I'm guessing you pushed yours to do all kinds of things they weren't ready to do because you never wanted to raise them properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

There is nothing normal about a 15 year old who is afraid to be alone!

Will you please go away???!!!!!! Of course it's normal. I'm sorry you're so messed up in the head.

I'm an NP, and nope, not normal for a 15 year old.

Maybe there is room for debate as to a 12 year old. Maybe. But more concerning than the inability to be alone is the inability to handle a little light teasing from a random old neighbor who means nothing to you anyways. It should have rolled off the DD's back -- barely registered. I don't love this term, but "snowflake" comes to mind.

oh you definitely love it, and LOVE to use it on children.

I'm guessing you pushed yours to do all kinds of things they weren't ready to do because you never wanted to raise them properly.

No.

[Anonymous]

I’m really sorry your neighbor was unkind in that way. While it’s true he was likely trying to connect in not a great way, it still wasn’t kind.

The one thing I’m surprised no one has pointed out that is totally stumping me and making me wonder if this very detailed story is a troll —- it isn’t dark at 6 am right now… I was up at 6 am today to workout and it’s plenty light out. So I’m confused about that being mentioned so much.