Is the cost of attending independent schools justified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have had kids in public and private and agree with PP who said there is groupthink about private schools. Nobody wants to admit that they are paying $$$ for what can actually be a mediocre experience depending on the situation. Ultimately I think it comes down not just to school itself, but to family/kid. Some kids will do great anywhere; those who you think will not do well at public will likely not do well at private either, possibly worse in some ways. For us, the upside of private school was small classes, but the downside was insularity and lack of community. They tried, but couldn't overcome the inherent limitations of the size, so it was a double edged sword. Plus...and I hadn't really thought of this before sending kid to private, once they are a "private school kid" yes, everyone will judge them a certain way for the rest of their lives. Ultimately kind of feel like they don't necessarily need that label and that public is a better chance to form an identity without that expectation, unless you like locking your kid into some assumptions & limiting worldview. Obviously I have regrets. College outcomes seem similar FWIW; academic preparation probably better at private but not sure it's worth the hype. 50K year buys lots of other experiences. Definitely not if you can't afford it comfortably (we can and I'm still not thrilled.) I regret that I thought it was automatically better without thinking critically enough. I was so focused on public school downsides I didn't see private school downsides.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

This article is obnoxious but indicative of this sort of thing: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/25/nyregion/spring-break-paradise-island-bahamas.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

TJHSST does as well. It's got a good track record of getting people jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

This article is obnoxious but indicative of this sort of thing: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/25/nyregion/spring-break-paradise-island-bahamas.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes

Networking at… Atlantis? Ok..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Yea, that math makes no sense or this person has some sort of costly vice. We make around a third of that annually, and our one child has comfortably been in costly private since they were 4, and we will be OK in retirement. It is annoying to think that we will spent have spent over half a million through high school, but it is a choice that works for our family. It's all personal though and YMMV.

I am the PP. When did I say we couldn't afford it? I just said it's a silly amount of money out the door each month for something where I have yet to see a major difference in early elementary. Obviously we can afford it.

Are you Mr $3 million a year? If so, you said that your children attend public for elementary. So how are you going about your comparison of a highest quality private elementary school compared to DCPS? 20 minute open house tours?

I said one of my kids attends private (a Big 5) and one attends public. Thus far for elementary, I haven't seen that big a difference. But people who send their kids to private love to twist themselves into knots to justify the costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

TJHSST does as well. It's got a good track record of getting people jobs.

Networking among TJHSST alums and students is not the same as what is highlighted in the linked article. There are levels to networking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Yea, that math makes no sense or this person has some sort of costly vice. We make around a third of that annually, and our one child has comfortably been in costly private since they were 4, and we will be OK in retirement. It is annoying to think that we will spent have spent over half a million through high school, but it is a choice that works for our family. It's all personal though and YMMV.

I am the PP. When did I say we couldn't afford it? I just said it's a silly amount of money out the door each month for something where I have yet to see a major difference in early elementary. Obviously we can afford it.

Are you Mr $3 million a year? If so, you said that your children attend public for elementary. So how are you going about your comparison of a highest quality private elementary school compared to DCPS? 20 minute open house tours?

I said one of my kids attends private (a Big 5) and one attends public. Thus far for elementary, I haven't seen that big a difference. But people who send their kids to private love to twist themselves into knots to justify the costs.

Agree. The main issue I believe is the risk of groupthink.

I do see some limitations, but most parents don’t want to acknowledge that and only mention how great things are.

Maybe that’s ok, but also feeds into groupthink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Yea, that math makes no sense or this person has some sort of costly vice. We make around a third of that annually, and our one child has comfortably been in costly private since they were 4, and we will be OK in retirement. It is annoying to think that we will spent have spent over half a million through high school, but it is a choice that works for our family. It's all personal though and YMMV.

I am the PP. When did I say we couldn't afford it? I just said it's a silly amount of money out the door each month for something where I have yet to see a major difference in early elementary. Obviously we can afford it.

Are you Mr $3 million a year? If so, you said that your children attend public for elementary. So how are you going about your comparison of a highest quality private elementary school compared to DCPS? 20 minute open house tours?

I said one of my kids attends private (a Big 5) and one attends public. Thus far for elementary, I haven't seen that big a difference. But people who send their kids to private love to twist themselves into knots to justify the costs.

Thanks for clarifying. Big “5” isn’t a thing though. If your kids attend Potomac or Maret, you may not be seeing the full picture to perform an honest differential analysis of DCPS vs the very best independents. Our DCs attended a 2nd tier DC independent and then Sidwell for full disclosure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

This article is obnoxious but indicative of this sort of thing: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/25/nyregion/spring-break-paradise-island-bahamas.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes

Networking at… Atlantis? Ok..

They're meeting and connecting with one another, then following on SM. So, yes. That's how you grow your network, and for a certain demographic it starts at private school, sleepaway camp, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

This article is obnoxious but indicative of this sort of thing: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/25/nyregion/spring-break-paradise-island-bahamas.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes

Networking at… Atlantis? Ok..

They're meeting and connecting with one another, then following on SM. So, yes. That's how you grow your network, and for a certain demographic it starts at private school, sleepaway camp, etc.

I don’t doubt that there are some networking advantages later on but this article and the spring break trips are not about “networking”! They are kids going on spring break trips together. I guess the point you’re making is that friendships from high school may turn out to be useful later on to people, where the high school demographic is likely to end up in positions of leadership, etc. That is true but would be true for a lot of public schools in this area as well as privates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.

+100

Ours has a better network (particularly for DC) than his Ivy. It’s been around over 200 years

This article is obnoxious but indicative of this sort of thing: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/25/nyregion/spring-break-paradise-island-bahamas.html?smtyp=cur&smid=fb-nytimes

Networking at… Atlantis? Ok..

They're meeting and connecting with one another, then following on SM. So, yes. That's how you grow your network, and for a certain demographic it starts at private school, sleepaway camp, etc.

I don’t doubt that there are some networking advantages later on but this article and the spring break trips are not about “networking”! They are kids going on spring break trips together. I guess the point you’re making is that friendships from high school may turn out to be useful later on to people, where the high school demographic is likely to end up in positions of leadership, etc. That is true but would be true for a lot of public schools in this area as well as privates.

I'm not saying they are about networking. They are an example of the settings in which networking connections get made---who meets, socializes, and remains in contact with whom. It all doesn't magically start at Yale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not saying they are about networking. They are an example of the settings in which networking connections get made---who meets, socializes, and remains in contact with whom. It all doesn't magically start at Yale.

We are a private school family, but this article is NOT what makes it worth it for us. The only “connections” happening on the trips in this NYT piece are the ones that lead to an STD or stint in rehab.

I think the benefit of private is smaller classes, more engaged teachers, better facilities, and consistently smart peers. Most schools just don’t provide these things where I live, and I have a child who rises academically to the level of those around him.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not worth it- you should all stay in the publics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not worth it- you should all stay in the publics.

Karen of private schools ☝️