Is the cost of attending independent schools justified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

I’ve found most of these responses incredibly reasonable so far. Not sure why they seem to be getting under your skin.

I find this sort of chatter a little gross because it always comes across as weird/gross crowd sourcing. Like folks need an anonymous forum to validate their educational choices. If there legit seems like there is no difference between public and private to someone - it really should be simple...then don't spend the money.

My perception is that the value for money is poor. But it’s just my perception so wanted to post this to get other options. I guess that’s the purpose of the forums, right? Or is just only for posting things that you agree with?

[Anonymous]

My perception is that the value for money is poor. But it’s just my perception so wanted to post this to get other options. I guess that’s the purpose of the forums, right? Or is just only for posting things that you agree with?

It's not about agreeing or not. It's just hard to say whether it's worth the value for YOU. It's similar to people who post things like, "what is going to be the best school for my kid" without asking more specifically about schools that might have certain things the kid would enjoy, as an example. This is all very subjective - and really, only you can determine whether its worth it for your family. It depends on your "why". If its "I want my kid to go to an Ivy League school", for example - the then perhaps it's not worth the money because your kid might not get into an Ivy even coming from the best DC school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no magic formula.

Either your public school serves your kid well or you put them in private.

If you do private for the sake of saying "my kid goes to private" or for religious reasons you are not a good parent.

And you are extremely closed-minded. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a catholic family sending their kid to a catholic or a Jewish family sending their kid to a Jewish school to get the religious ed component, if that is something the family and student value. What is wrong with you???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not at all like buying a car. If you are wringing your hands over whether private school is worth the money, that’s a sign you are either at the wrong school or you should send your child to public. We decided private was not “worth it” for elementary but have zero regrets sending DCs to private for upper grades.

I don't like the "if you have to ask" mentality that often comes up on this forum. Private school tuition is a huge sacrifice for a lot of us. I can feel that a private school is the best option for my kid, but still wring hands over what else we're giving up - whether that's savings, travel, having a parent at home, whatever.

Maybe a better analogy than car buying: I could take Metro to work, but I mostly drive. Driving makes the most sense for my life and schedule, but I still wince at the cost and wonder if I should make Metro work. Some people in my same situation would Metro.

[Anonymous]

I’m a pp that said “zero regrets.” I did not say our DCs schools are perfect and I’m sorry you interpreted it as such. Yes, we are happy with our decision to send our children to their respective schools and do believe their experience is better than what it would have been at our zoned “excellent” public. You only get one shot at childhood, we prioritize education above other spending, and we wanted our children to have an experience that was similar to our own. It’s not easy to write the checks, but we believe we are doing the best thing for our kids.

Education choice is a very personal decision and you make the best choice for your family and children. It’s very different than buying a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My perception is that the value for money is poor. But it’s just my perception so wanted to post this to get other options. I guess that’s the purpose of the forums, right? Or is just only for posting things that you agree with?

It's not about agreeing or not. It's just hard to say whether it's worth the value for YOU. It's similar to people who post things like, "what is going to be the best school for my kid" without asking more specifically about schools that might have certain things the kid would enjoy, as an example. This is all very subjective - and really, only you can determine whether its worth it for your family. It depends on your "why". If its "I want my kid to go to an Ivy League school", for example - the then perhaps it's not worth the money because your kid might not get into an Ivy even coming from the best DC school.

For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

[Anonymous]

For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

Which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

If you’re at a $50K+ private and are getting this type of performance from the school, you should leave. I can see why you would question the value you’re getting your private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no magic formula.

Either your public school serves your kid well or you put them in private.

If you do private for the sake of saying "my kid goes to private" or for religious reasons you are not a good parent.

And you are extremely closed-minded. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a catholic family sending their kid to a catholic or a Jewish family sending their kid to a Jewish school to get the religious ed component, if that is something the family and student value. What is wrong with you???

+1. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, if you only look at private school as a means to a specific college outcome then it makes no sense. But I don’t think that is how most private school families view it.

how naive

This is not naive at all. Clearly based on OPs wording, OP views private as a means to an end of hoped for better college admissions. If that is anyone’s goal, then it’s not worth it.
We do private bc it has instilled a love and true interest in learning in our kids. They have critical thinking skills and amazing public speaking skills which they’ve slowly been taught since K.
I went to both public and private in DC, and while I had straight As in public, I got to private and floundered. I only knew how to learn by memorization and regurgitation. I was light years behind my classmates who went into depth on everything and made it look easy. By graduation I had caught up. When I went to college, it was truly easy as I was basically over-prepared. The skills from my private high school carried over into interviewing and my early jobs. Sure I probably would have gotten into the same colleges (or better bc not competing vs a whole grade of qualified peers), but I wouldn’t have traded my private high school education for anything. We have put all of our kids in private since k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, if you only look at private school as a means to a specific college outcome then it makes no sense. But I don’t think that is how most private school families view it.

how naive

This is not naive at all. Clearly based on OPs wording, OP views private as a means to an end of hoped for better college admissions. If that is anyone’s goal, then it’s not worth it.
We do private bc it has instilled a love and true interest in learning in our kids. They have critical thinking skills and amazing public speaking skills which they’ve slowly been taught since K.
I went to both public and private in DC, and while I had straight As in public, I got to private and floundered. I only knew how to learn by memorization and regurgitation. I was light years behind my classmates who went into depth on everything and made it look easy. By graduation I had caught up. When I went to college, it was truly easy as I was basically over-prepared. The skills from my private high school carried over into interviewing and my early jobs. Sure I probably would have gotten into the same colleges (or better bc not competing vs a whole grade of qualified peers), but I wouldn’t have traded my private high school education for anything. We have put all of our kids in private since k.

These days publics try to go in depth (which they don't succeed at) without memorization and regurgitation of the basics. You need both. Good schools have both. Diagramming sentences and using complex sentence structure to make a compelling argument. Memorizing multiplication tables and applying multiplication to complex real world problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cost the same as an Ivy League university and quality in many cases is comparable to a public schools?

Is the cost justified?

In my view its out of whack.

You might end paying 800k to learn at the end the kids get into ivy leagues because of legacy admission.

Which private schools cost $80-90k to attend??

Look at the boarding schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cost the same as an Ivy League university and quality in many cases is comparable to a public schools?

Is the cost justified?

In my view its out of whack.

You might end paying 800k to learn at the end the kids get into ivy leagues because of legacy admission.

Which private schools cost $80-90k to attend??

Look at the boarding schools

Well of course boarding is more expensive. Didn’t seem like that’s what OP was comparing though. OP seems to be comparing typical private tuition to typical Ivy tuition. But college has far more additional costs than k-12 school years. You need to compare full cost of attendance, not just tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

If my child was not writing essays in MS or teachers were incompetent, I would agree that it's not worth it and you should look elsewhere--another private or public. And name the school.

We are having a different experience with our DCs, and it has nothing to do with groupthink or justifying our choice. There's a huge variance of what you'll get across all of the different private schools in our area and families prioritize different aspects of school, which impacts how they assess the "value" of a school for their child.