Is the cost of attending independent schools justified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cost the same as an Ivy League university and quality in many cases is comparable to a public schools?

Is the cost justified?

In my view its out of whack.

You might end paying 800k to learn at the end the kids get into ivy leagues because of legacy admission.

Which private schools cost $80-90k to attend??

Madeira (but only if boarding kid and horse). Otherwise, the day schools around here max out at about $60K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

I’ve found most of these responses incredibly reasonable so far. Not sure why they seem to be getting under your skin.

I find this sort of chatter a little gross because it always comes across as weird/gross crowd sourcing. Like folks need an anonymous forum to validate their educational choices. If there legit seems like there is no difference between public and private to someone - it really should be simple...then don't spend the money.

Yet, here you are reading it and taking time to respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

It’s not that is good or bad. Most likely both public and private are good, and private might have an edge over public. The question is it worth it?

What can go wrong if your kid is sent to public school? Or alternatively what good thing could I expect if I send them to private school?

So far I don’t see many bad things in public and not many good things in private to say that is worth the money.

It’s when you buy a car. Maybe you need the Audi and it makes you happy. But if you drive to work maybe you are happy with a Toyoya and things will not be different for you.

Of course this your kids education and not car, buy sometimes I feel that there is a social status element in private schools (like buying and Audi).

This is so silly. “Worth” is subjective.

It is worth for me to send my kids to BVR, NCS and STA because I value what these schools offer and what my kids get out of them. YOU may not. Superior academics are not the only reason I chose the schools. I chose them because of the environment, the happy, interesting teachers, the lower teacher to student ratio, the facilities, etc.
Why is this so hard to understand!?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

I’ve found most of these responses incredibly reasonable so far. Not sure why they seem to be getting under your skin.

I find this sort of chatter a little gross because it always comes across as weird/gross crowd sourcing. Like folks need an anonymous forum to validate their educational choices. If there legit seems like there is no difference between public and private to someone - it really should be simple...then don't spend the money.

My perception is that the value for money is poor. But it’s just my perception so wanted to post this to get other options. I guess that’s the purpose of the forums, right? Or is just only for posting things that you agree with?

I guess it depends on how much you value the benefits to your kids. These are the most formative years…. Quite important in my opinion and worth the money for us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They cost the same as an Ivy League university and quality in many cases is comparable to a public schools?

Is the cost justified?

In my view its out of whack.

You might end paying 800k to learn at the end the kids get into ivy leagues because of legacy admission.

We only did HS. We had great public K-5, a little less great 6-8 (but solid). We paid for an independent at around 30-35k/year for two kids.

Both at Ivies. Both unhooked--neither legacy or recruited athlete or first gen/urm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My perception is that the value for money is poor. But it’s just my perception so wanted to post this to get other options. I guess that’s the purpose of the forums, right? Or is just only for posting things that you agree with?

It's not about agreeing or not. It's just hard to say whether it's worth the value for YOU. It's similar to people who post things like, "what is going to be the best school for my kid" without asking more specifically about schools that might have certain things the kid would enjoy, as an example. This is all very subjective - and really, only you can determine whether its worth it for your family. It depends on your "why". If its "I want my kid to go to an Ivy League school", for example - the then perhaps it's not worth the money because your kid might not get into an Ivy even coming from the best DC school.

For me it’s difficult to really understand the value of private schools, in terms of the education the kids receive My DC is in a private school that costs 50k+ and they don’t write essays in middle school and the math teacher is pretty incompetent and also the band performance is subpar.

When I comment on this mentioning the name of the school people think I am troll. But my perception is that there is a lot of groupthink in terms of the quality of private schools. I think schools like sidwell and ncs seem pretty solid. But the rest I am not sure.

Like universities, the relationship between cost, prestige, and educational effectiveness is not a straight line. Cost and prestige tend to often be pretty close -- the cost helps serves as a filtering function -- but educational effectiveness is not nearly as correlated as people think. Searching this forum, it's not hard to find people complaining about ritzy privates shoving Ipads into the hands of kindergarteners, or still (still!) using Balanced Literacy programs and Lucy Caulkins's execrable Writer's Workshop. My kids are going to a relatively cheap, no-name religious school, and while the students are, on average, not as natively capable as the ones at the $50,000 St Quaker Day School, the curriculum lines up reasonably well to what I would pick myself, were I homeschooling.

Anyway, if the school isn't bothering to teach your kids well, I heartily encourage switching them to one that will. There are expensive, prestigious schools with decent curricula, too, if you want to keep on the prestige/connections track. You just have to keep your eyes open, and not be blinded by the school's meticulously kept golf course next to its unicorn stables.

[Anonymous]

Have had kids in public and private and agree with PP who said there is groupthink about private schools. Nobody wants to admit that they are paying $$$ for what can actually be a mediocre experience depending on the situation. Ultimately I think it comes down not just to school itself, but to family/kid. Some kids will do great anywhere; those who you think will not do well at public will likely not do well at private either, possibly worse in some ways. For us, the upside of private school was small classes, but the downside was insularity and lack of community. They tried, but couldn't overcome the inherent limitations of the size, so it was a double edged sword. Plus...and I hadn't really thought of this before sending kid to private, once they are a "private school kid" yes, everyone will judge them a certain way for the rest of their lives. Ultimately kind of feel like they don't necessarily need that label and that public is a better chance to form an identity without that expectation, unless you like locking your kid into some assumptions & limiting worldview. Obviously I have regrets. College outcomes seem similar FWIW; academic preparation probably better at private but not sure it's worth the hype. 50K year buys lots of other experiences. Definitely not if you can't afford it comfortably (we can and I'm still not thrilled.) I regret that I thought it was automatically better without thinking critically enough. I was so focused on public school downsides I didn't see private school downsides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

It’s not that is good or bad. Most likely both public and private are good, and private might have an edge over public. The question is it worth it?

What can go wrong if your kid is sent to public school? Or alternatively what good thing could I expect if I send them to private school?

So far I don’t see many bad things in public and not many good things in private to say that is worth the money.

It’s when you buy a car. Maybe you need the Audi and it makes you happy. But if you drive to work maybe you are happy with a Toyoya and things will not be different for you.

Of course this your kids education and not car, buy sometimes I feel that there is a social status element in private schools (like buying and Audi).

This is so silly. “Worth” is subjective.

It is worth for me to send my kids to BVR, NCS and STA because I value what these schools offer and what my kids get out of them. YOU may not. Superior academics are not the only reason I chose the schools. I chose them because of the environment, the happy, interesting teachers, the lower teacher to student ratio, the facilities, etc.
Why is this so hard to understand!?!?!

Every kid is different and what they need is different. Public schools, by definition, have to be useful to the most number of people and so are naturally not going to be great for everyone (but almost always are going to be “good enough” for everyone). Private can be a “worthwhile” expense if your kid needs something a bit different. And not in a bad way - some kids just do better in different systems.

Some have superior academic and some don’t, but if it’s not the right fit and your kid can’t take advantage of the superior academics, it’s not worth it. I went to private and my sister went to public - I wouldn’t have made it through her public and she would have been a disaster at my private. Was worth it for me and wouldn’t have been for here. I have one of my own in private and one in public. If public stops being great and starts only being “good enough” we’ll look around for a private for the second.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a PP here that as long as you are in a good public school district, keep your kids in public until it doesn’t work for you. Some kids really benefit from private, others probably could be the same, have same outcome having gone to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

It’s not that is good or bad. Most likely both public and private are good, and private might have an edge over public. The question is it worth it?

What can go wrong if your kid is sent to public school? Or alternatively what good thing could I expect if I send them to private school?

So far I don’t see many bad things in public and not many good things in private to say that is worth the money.

It’s when you buy a car. Maybe you need the Audi and it makes you happy. But if you drive to work maybe you are happy with a Toyoya and things will not be different for you.

Of course this your kids education and not car, buy sometimes I feel that there is a social status element in private schools (like buying and Audi).

This is so silly. “Worth” is subjective.

It is worth for me to send my kids to BVR, NCS and STA because I value what these schools offer and what my kids get out of them. YOU may not. Superior academics are not the only reason I chose the schools. I chose them because of the environment, the happy, interesting teachers, the lower teacher to student ratio, the facilities, etc.
Why is this so hard to understand!?!?!

Well, because there is a financial component to worth. All of the things you mentioned may be worth it to you at $50k per year but not at, say, $1 million per year. For some it isn’t worth it at $50k either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Yea, that math makes no sense or this person has some sort of costly vice. We make around a third of that annually, and our one child has comfortably been in costly private since they were 4, and we will be OK in retirement. It is annoying to think that we will spent have spent over half a million through high school, but it is a choice that works for our family. It's all personal though and YMMV.

I am the PP. When did I say we couldn't afford it? I just said it's a silly amount of money out the door each month for something where I have yet to see a major difference in early elementary. Obviously we can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Yea, that math makes no sense or this person has some sort of costly vice. We make around a third of that annually, and our one child has comfortably been in costly private since they were 4, and we will be OK in retirement. It is annoying to think that we will spent have spent over half a million through high school, but it is a choice that works for our family. It's all personal though and YMMV.

I am the PP. When did I say we couldn't afford it? I just said it's a silly amount of money out the door each month for something where I have yet to see a major difference in early elementary. Obviously we can afford it.

Are you Mr $3 million a year? If so, you said that your children attend public for elementary. So how are you going about your comparison of a highest quality private elementary school compared to DCPS? 20 minute open house tours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make $3M+ and it still feels like an insane amount going out the door

You make $3mm/yr and can't deal with two kids in private? or do you mean 3mm NW?

Can you read? They didn’t say they can’t deal with it. They said “it still feels like an insane amount going out the door”….which it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I continue to be shocked at how often people come on this forum to try and talk others out of the decisions they've made for their kids. People choose to spend money on a load of stuff that I don't even bother to try and understand. If you have the privilege to make the choice between private and public (because recognize that for many the choice is made for them), you need to decide what's best for your family and where you want to spend your money.

I am not one of those people making 3M+ a year and still choose private school for my kids. I sleep well at night and haven't once regretted my decision or wondered what I could be doing with that money. Because guess what, for me...its not about "inertia" - I made the choice because I can and its what I wanted for my kids.

If private school doesn't make sense to you - you think its the same as public - you wonder who you just "ended up" in private school - etc etc....its really simple...just send your kid to public school.

It’s not that is good or bad. Most likely both public and private are good, and private might have an edge over public. The question is it worth it?

What can go wrong if your kid is sent to public school? Or alternatively what good thing could I expect if I send them to private school?

So far I don’t see many bad things in public and not many good things in private to say that is worth the money.

It’s when you buy a car. Maybe you need the Audi and it makes you happy. But if you drive to work maybe you are happy with a Toyoya and things will not be different for you.

Of course this your kids education and not car, buy sometimes I feel that there is a social status element in private schools (like buying and Audi).

This is so silly. “Worth” is subjective.

It is worth for me to send my kids to BVR, NCS and STA because I value what these schools offer and what my kids get out of them. YOU may not. Superior academics are not the only reason I chose the schools. I chose them because of the environment, the happy, interesting teachers, the lower teacher to student ratio, the facilities, etc.
Why is this so hard to understand!?!?!

Well, because there is a financial component to worth. All of the things you mentioned may be worth it to you at $50k per year but not at, say, $1 million per year. For some it isn’t worth it at $50k either.

Exactly… they are subjective. I would not be able to afford a school that is 100k for 3 kids. I just could not do it. But 50? I can do that and to me it is worth it. We also went through a couple of years of public so I am aware of the differences. Only downside of private for me is that classmates don’t live all around us.

[Anonymous]

Some private high schools offer the same kind of connections that are associated with attendance at Ivy-level schools. College admissions are not the only perk.