Bathroom usage: Would you contact the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

[Anonymous]

Get her the THINX period undies, my DD can wear one of these all day without having to go to the bathroom to change any products. Not the answer to the systemic school problem but definitely a band-aid in the interim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s absurd. I would get her a vague doctor’s note and tell admin that you trust you won’t hear about the issue again.

Agree. This is yet more evidence that our schools are not prioritizing the education of our children.

When is enough, enough?

They have to prioritize kids not killing each other, gang violence, drugs, etc. and basically trying to keep the kids alive, over education.

There is no discipline and punishment in schools anymore. The kids control them. Lord of The Flies basically in most schools now.

Alright, but that can’t become my well-behaved kid’s problem when she just needs to use the bathroom.

Then you need to send your well behaved kid to a school where the rest of the kids are well behaved and can follow rules and not be destructive. Many public schools adapted these bathroom policies out of need. Too many kids don’t follow rules or treat property respectfully.

What????? Not OP but just no. People don’t just have an option to move schools because the admin decides to not do their job. You are ridiculous and your instane privilege is showing in the worst way possible.

I get that it isn’t possible, which means your kid has to deal with the consequences of others’ terrible behavior. My middle schooler goes to a title 1 public school and the behavior is bananas. The bathrooms are locked and pretty much as described in this thread, for all the reasons described in this thread. But it isn’t just bad bathroom behavior. In the lunchroom, once you are seated at a table, it’s an automatic detention is you get up. You must raise your hand and ask permission from a lunch attendant to stand up once seated or to move. Pretty severe, yes? They made this policy because kids were literally jumping on tables in the lunchroom and throwing food across the lunchroom. These were not isolated incidents. But when parents send uncontrollable kids that have no regard to basic rules and decency to school, the schools have to set boundaries. There are too many kids doing this to simply punish the offending kids. It’s a wide spread problem.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

[Anonymous]

This is bs. There shouldn’t be one rule for everyone. Teachers have a good sense of which kids are extremely unlikely to vandalize the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

I totally ageee with your point but we shouldn’t make other kids suffer for that policy choice. If the school doesn’t want to expel those kids, they should just pay the cost of repairing and repainting. Again, if your employer said “well I can’t really fire those people due to whatever reason so I’m just not gojng to let you go to the bathroom”—that would not be a legal response. Why is this allowed for minors who are compelled by law to attend school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does "tardy" even mean though, when it comes to punishments?
Does she have to serve afterschool detentions for it? If not, who cares.

At our MS, a single tardy can keep a kid of all-school activities, like the end-of-semester party, school basketball game, etc.

I'd be livid if my DD was kept out because she wasn't able to use the bathroom.

Is that a Title 9 issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

[Anonymous]

Op, update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

There is no “getting rid” of anyone anymore. That’s the root of the problem. You can be convicted of armed robbery or carjacking and be back in school the next day. Those kids behave about like you’d expect them to behave in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. If they do not have enough staff for bathroom monitors, then how are they enforcing one child at a time in the bathroom?

The teachers enforce it which means that it only falls on the kids who are good kids and listen to the teachers.

Can you imagine if your employer told you that you couldn’t go to the bathroom because of the possibility that some other people might vandalize the bathroom? You’d be calling the state regulations. It’s ridiculous. The school district has to bear the cost of vandalism — not individual children.

Even with the safety thing, the odds of my kids being caught in a bathroom fight are infinitesimal. The odds of them being uncomfortable and unable to focus on their work because they couldn’t use the bathroom are extremely high.

Can you imagine if you were an employee and you etched racist/profane writing into the bathroom wall, emptied the soap onto the floor, attempted to flushed your vape pen down the toilet, rendering it unusable, and were taking pictures and videos in the bathroom. You’d be fired. We can’t fire kids from school. And good luck expelling.

“Expelling” learners has been repeatedly shown to have a disparate impact on BIPOC learners; it is the very opposite of the goal of economic and racial equity (which is the “E” in DEI).

Public schools need more DEI, not less.

What effect does keeping them in class have on everyone else (including BIPOC learners)? My kid is in one class where so many kids act out that all she's learning are the life skills of trying to fly under the radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why parents aren’t rioting in the streets about this bathroom insanity. If the school has kids that are so poorly behaved that they are doing whatever the issue is inside the bathrooms then the schools need to get rid of those kids, not take away bathrooms for all students at school.

They can’t “get rid of those kids.” They just can’t, for many reasons. We have dismantled the discipline system in schools in the name of equity, and many parents don’t discipline effectively, and/or the kids has an IEP, or some other excuse. This is the reality in many schools. Schools haven’t taken away bathrooms, there are just strict limits on them. Nearly all kids have managed to work within these limits. No one is soiling themselves in school. OPs kid will manage, like all the rest.

Sure. She will manage by waiting in line—and then being tardy. And with enough tardies, she will be suspended.

Or, she holds her urine and feces, and bleeds all over her clothes.

That isn’t happening. Nearly girl in the middle school is menstruating. No one is peeing themselves and bleeding all over. OPs kid can figure it out. Maybe it means wearing period underwear as back up, packing lunch that week so she has more time during lunch hour to use bathroom, using bathroom before/after the classes that are very close to bathroom. She can figure it out. Plus on the rare occasion she absolutely has to go during class they have emergency passes and most teachers are reasonable if she hasn’t abused passes.

Between being strategic about when to use the bathroom for most efficacy, lunch time, emergency passes, and an occasional tardy- she should be fine

She had two tardies in one seven hour day because she was forced to stand in line in order to change her bloody pad. If she acquires enough tardies, she faces the consequence of losing school privileges (dances, playing and attending sports, etc) and if she accrues enough, she faces expulsion. I get what you’re saying, but you’re not getting what I’m saying. The school came up with a temporary solution, but what’s the long game? The best solution can’t possibly be standing in line, which causes tardiness.