Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

We've had au pairs the last few years. Our current one is leaving in April and we thought she would be our last one as our kids are a bit older. But now with RTO and SACC having long waitlist it would make sense for us to host again, except we can't plan for it because both our jobs are fed/fed adjacent and there's risk that one or both of us could lost our jobs. If we get another au pair and find ourselves without a job in a few months, we'd have to let the au pair go, which means losing a chunk of agency fees, and it's hugely disruptive to the au pair. But we need the childcare coverage in the meantime so we might keep our jobs. It's such a catch 22.

[Anonymous]

It’s really tough. I wake up at 3:50 AM and leave home around 4:40 to catch the first metro train to work. I get off at 2:30 PM so I can be home by 4:30 to take care of my son and take him to sports at 5:30 PM.

[Anonymous]

I know people keep saying, “but what did you do before 2020?” My oldest was born in 2016 and was in daycare. After Covid hit and work gave both of us more flexibility, we had a second and then a third child. We absolutely would not have had a 3rd kid if we knew we’d never have any telework whatsoever or schedule flexibility. I guess we’re the idiots for planning our entire lives around having flexibility, but I’m sure we weren’t the only ones. We even traded higher paying jobs for that flexibility.

I am working 6-2:30 and dh is working 8:30-5. It’s not great and I’m exhausted. The bright side is that now that we’re unable to telework, neither of us catch up on work late at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely agree with a PP that they will cheer at women exiting the workforce, it's part of what they want.

Probably they didn't give this a thought.

Of course they did. Vance believes that women belong at home and should have more babies. He has said so explicitly.

Url or citation?

https://apnews.com/article/jd-vance-childless-cat-ladies-birth-rates-555c0f78ef8dd4c13c88b9e8d5f0024a

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading everyone's stories make me so sad and angry for everyone. Just giving you all hugs.

+1

Our society sucks in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the criticism of flexible schedules or working from home. I think it’s fantastic that people are finding a better work-life balance, and we are fortunate to have the technology that allows for this. It feels like some individuals here are bitter because they haven’t experienced this balance themselves and would rather criticize others/bring everyone down with them.

Regarding the comment about teachers being working mothers as well, I believe you’re missing the point that our society as a whole does not adequately support working parents. I have always advocated for better pay for teachers, nurses, and childcare workers because they are essential. However, we don’t because we fail to prioritize the upbringing of children in our society

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

This is in response to a comparison with WFH. Someone might have 8.5 hrs of childcare, not 10.5. You can't easily find those additional hours overnight. But you already knew that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are people living that have 2 hour commutes each way? When my kids were in school, we lived near Olney and I left home at 6:15. Dropped off kids at morning care in Bethesda around 7, in office by 7:30-7:45. Left work at 4:30 and picked up at 5:15 or so. Sports practices were generally around 5:30pm or so because the coaches were working parents with in-office jobs. I did that schedule 5 days a week for years.

Would you like a medal for your accomplishments???

[Anonymous]

My husband and I do not have children yet, but hope to get pregnant soon. I just left a job that suddenly started implementing 5x a week onsite for a hybrid role. My husband has an extremely inflexible job (think ER doctor or police officer) where he MUST be onsite for 8-10 hours a day and can’t leave. We quickly realized that even without children (we do have pets) this was challenging: for example, we had a leak in the bathroom, no one was home all week to let a plumber in to address this. Minor issue I know, but it was really inconvenient.

When we do have kids, we realized that we won’t be able to do it without at least one person having a bit more flexibility.

I have mad respect for you dual working households. I don’t know how you do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s really tough. I wake up at 3:50 AM and leave home around 4:40 to catch the first metro train to work. I get off at 2:30 PM so I can be home by 4:30 to take care of my son and take him to sports at 5:30 PM.

But when do you sleep???

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your child is special, but literally everyone did this pre-Covid, PP. Yes, sometimes that meant that children were in daycare or before school care from 8:30am - 5:30pm, and that really, really sucked but our children actually had a ton of fun in before/after care and we all managed just fine. This was normal and it will go back to normal. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, but it does work for most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

Why oh why do 35 year olds not understand that there was a life before Covid. We had commutes then, too, sweetie pie. Sometimes over an hour. We figured it out, you will too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

This is in response to a comparison with WFH. Someone might have 8.5 hrs of childcare, not 10.5. You can't easily find those additional hours overnight. But you already knew that.

B_ch. You will figure it out. Use your leave in the meantime.