Tween DS is amazing at sport he now hates, loves sport he's medicore at

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The middle school years are often tough for swimming. But many swimmers (especially) boys really start to enjoy the sport more in high school. Boys tend to keep getting faster as they get bigger and stronger. Also, it's a sport where they interact with girls a lot.

Is the basketball team where he goes to high school so competitive that he won't be able to play? I know this is often the case. I would tell him that. If he's willing to take that risk, then let him cut back on swimming (I would try to avoid stopping swimming altogether), and let him give more time to basketball. After a year of that, let him choose.

Correct. He would not make a freshman school basketball team. He would not make any travel basketball team.

While he is the best boy swimmer for his age on his travel swim team.

So what? What matters most, his happiness or being 'the best" or "on travel team"? Focus on the child.

No, he's being unduly influenced by idiot boy middle schoolers who think swimming is not cool and basketball is. Swimming is not a sport you can generally stop and pick up later--it's a sport you need to be conditioned for, so stopping can make it very hard to pick it up again.

OP--is there an older boy H.S. boy on his club team or summer team who could maybe talk to him/encourage him? Have you had him talk to his coaches about this? Or could switching to a new club team maybe reinvigorate him.

Middle schoolers don't understand swimming. By high school, all those boys telling him how uncool swimming is will admire your son for his dedication (up at 4am for practice), remarkable physical condition, and regular interaction with the girls on his team. Don't listen to all these people telling you to just let him throw in the towel. Obviously, you can't force a kid to continue in a sport. But you should really make sure he's making the decision to leave the sport for the right reasons.

+1. I'm convinced this forum is full of childless misanthropes.

I am not childless or a misanthrope. I'm the mother of two swimmers -- both swimming D1 in college. The people on this thread saying "let him play basketball" and "sports are supposed to be fun," clearly know nothing about swimming, the challenges that come with it, and how rewarding it is for kids who stick with it.

OP -- does your kid swim in the summer and on his high school team? Does he have friends on his club team?

Perhaps we don’t know anything about swimming (however will we survive) but we do know a thing or do about our kids enjoying their childhoods.

I’m sorry that nobody is impressed with your mom skills for having D1 swimmers. Good for your kids, I guess, but nobody actually cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it hard to make a public HS swim team in the DMV?

Seems like they all basically suck in the DMV area and it's almost the equivalent to a no-cut sport at most of the high schools (though unlike a sport like crew...if you can't swim a lap then you will be cut). I know our HS can't even get enough kids to swim.

I just don't understand why OP's kid has to continue swimming at some top club level if the only point is to be able swim for the HS team.

Can't speak for MD, but at least in NoVA, generally, most HS don't cut (in a dual meet, you get put in 4 entries per individual event so there's room for squad fills so to speak), the swimmers who move on to Regionals/States are pretty much most of the same kids you see finish in the top 25 or so at PVS winter and spring champs meets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it hard to make a public HS swim team in the DMV?

Seems like they all basically suck in the DMV area and it's almost the equivalent to a no-cut sport at most of the high schools (though unlike a sport like crew...if you can't swim a lap then you will be cut). I know our HS can't even get enough kids to swim.

I just don't understand why OP's kid has to continue swimming at some top club level if the only point is to be able swim for the HS team.

This would be wrong. We are in NoVa and the teams turn out D1 swimmers and some end up state champions pretty regularly. To be blunt, any higher income high school is going to probably have a good swim team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Nothing about this story makes sense.

Other kids who suck at basketball in his local rec league (you said he's running circles around them with no basketball experience, right?) are also bullying him to say swimming is lame and basketball is cool? So kids are harassing him to play basketball with them, a sport they aren't good at and play at a low level?

I have a swimmer. You can fit in a low key basketball rec league without super uptight attendance expectations no problem. One practice a week and one game a weekend. My son did it for years. Our county provides the league through 12th grade. Which is common.

And agree you calling it travel swim is weird. No one ever calls it that.

#bullshit

Thanks for chiming in, Columbo. I think the pressure against swimming is coming from boys at school and friends he plays the online video games with, not the basketball team. And basketball seems fun because he believes he's really good without really any practice. While swimming is tons of practices to become as good as he's become. But he's not good at basketball, he only THINKS he's good. He is exceptional at swimming because of the practices and his body type.

Sorry I still don't buy that middle school boys give a shite if he swims or plays basketball. I don't know if you are in DC area but around here summer swim is a huge deal and good swimmers do have some social capital.

Again though why does he have to choose?

if he's doing club swim, then yes it's bit of a choice since practices/games/meets are both in the thick of winter season. If you have the flexibility of switching to morning practices for swim, then you could consider afternoons for basketball and just deal with the fact that you'll miss some meets/games here and there as winter/spring champs roll around, he'll just have to decide what's more important to him.

You can dial down winter swim. Really, you can.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?

Do you even have kids? Who lets their child get bullied into disliking a sport and thinks that’s okay?

A kid saying to another kid “come play in our basketball team, it’s cool!” Is not bullying.

OP clearly needs her son to be bullied to justify her deranged behavior.

This whole thread is bonkers. Are these swim parents for real or are they just trolling the rest of us? There’s no way they could be so delusional as to think anybody gives a crap about swimming…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it hard to make a public HS swim team in the DMV?

Seems like they all basically suck in the DMV area and it's almost the equivalent to a no-cut sport at most of the high schools (though unlike a sport like crew...if you can't swim a lap then you will be cut). I know our HS can't even get enough kids to swim.

I just don't understand why OP's kid has to continue swimming at some top club level if the only point is to be able swim for the HS team.

This would be wrong. We are in NoVa and the teams turn out D1 swimmers and some end up state champions pretty regularly. To be blunt, any higher income high school is going to probably have a good swim team.

How does this square with the PP also from NoVa that says basically anyone can make the swim team.

The two things can be true...you can have D1 recruits on a team that nearly everyone can make.

[Anonymous]

Who knows what’s going to happen with your son? Kris Humphries held multiple national records and repeatedly beat Michael Phelps in swimming competitions when they were 10. Ultimately, Humphries pursued basketball and played in the NBA. Phelps stuck with swimming and became the most dominant swimmer of all time.

Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team his sophomore year of high school, but didn’t leave the sport and became a legend.

You can either be honest with him about his talents and the potential pitfalls of dropping swimming in favor of basketball and let him make an informed decision or you can keep him in the dark, try to exert your influence, and hope for the best. Will he at least stick with swimming through the first season of competitive basketball? Then he’ll at least have an idea of how he fits in on a basketball team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?

Do you even have kids? Who lets their child get bullied into disliking a sport and thinks that’s okay?

A kid saying to another kid “come play in our basketball team, it’s cool!” Is not bullying.

OP clearly needs her son to be bullied to justify her deranged behavior.

This whole thread is bonkers. Are these swim parents for real or are they just trolling the rest of us? There’s no way they could be so delusional as to think anybody gives a crap about swimming…

I assume swim parents and baseball parents are nuts until they prove me otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing about this story makes sense.

Other kids who suck at basketball in his local rec league (you said he's running circles around them with no basketball experience, right?) are also bullying him to say swimming is lame and basketball is cool? So kids are harassing him to play basketball with them, a sport they aren't good at and play at a low level?

I have a swimmer. You can fit in a low key basketball rec league without super uptight attendance expectations no problem. One practice a week and one game a weekend. My son did it for years. Our county provides the league through 12th grade. Which is common.

And agree you calling it travel swim is weird. No one ever calls it that.

#bullshit

Thanks for chiming in, Columbo. I think the pressure against swimming is coming from boys at school and friends he plays the online video games with, not the basketball team. And basketball seems fun because he believes he's really good without really any practice. While swimming is tons of practices to become as good as he's become. But he's not good at basketball, he only THINKS he's good. He is exceptional at swimming because of the practices and his body type.

Don’t forget he hates it now.

Why don’t you want him to play the sport he enjoys?

DCUM recommends letting delinquents bully your kid into quitting a sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what’s going to happen with your son? Kris Humphries held multiple national records and repeatedly beat Michael Phelps in swimming competitions when they were 10. Ultimately, Humphries pursued basketball and played in the NBA. Phelps stuck with swimming and became the most dominant swimmer of all time.

Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team his sophomore year of high school, but didn’t leave the sport and became a legend.

You can either be honest with him about his talents and the potential pitfalls of dropping swimming in favor of basketball and let him make an informed decision or you can keep him in the dark, try to exert your influence, and hope for the best. Will he at least stick with swimming through the first season of competitive basketball? Then he’ll at least have an idea of how he fits in on a basketball team.

Michael Jordan didn't make his Varsity basketball team as a Freshman...he wasn't cut from the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?

Do you even have kids? Who lets their child get bullied into disliking a sport and thinks that’s okay?

A kid saying to another kid “come play in our basketball team, it’s cool!” Is not bullying.

OP clearly needs her son to be bullied to justify her deranged behavior.

This whole thread is bonkers. Are these swim parents for real or are they just trolling the rest of us? There’s no way they could be so delusional as to think anybody gives a crap about swimming…

Grow up. What is the point of this comment? You could fill in the blank and say this about any sport. All sports have a group of people who care. Culturally, summer swim is HUGE in this area. I didn't grow up in an area that had community pools and summer swim so it's not MY thing. But it's okay I have enough maturity to realize I'm not the center of the universe. I do know this area churns out Olympic swimmers who are household names if you don't live under a rock. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who knows what’s going to happen with your son? Kris Humphries held multiple national records and repeatedly beat Michael Phelps in swimming competitions when they were 10. Ultimately, Humphries pursued basketball and played in the NBA. Phelps stuck with swimming and became the most dominant swimmer of all time.

Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team his sophomore year of high school, but didn’t leave the sport and became a legend.

You can either be honest with him about his talents and the potential pitfalls of dropping swimming in favor of basketball and let him make an informed decision or you can keep him in the dark, try to exert your influence, and hope for the best. Will he at least stick with swimming through the first season of competitive basketball? Then he’ll at least have an idea of how he fits in on a basketball team.

Michael Jordan didn't make his Varsity basketball team as a Freshman...he wasn't cut from the team.

This has got to me the dumbest thing that gets thrown around all the time. The Michael Jordan didn't make his team blah, blah.

It's in the same genre as my cousin Bob was 5-4 in 11th grade and ended up 6-5. These fables that get passed around to give people hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's fortunate to be playing a sport he loves. Clearly, let him do it. Are you seriously considering pressuring him to drop a sport he enjoys to do something he doesn't?

Do you even have kids? Who lets their child get bullied into disliking a sport and thinks that’s okay?

A kid saying to another kid “come play in our basketball team, it’s cool!” Is not bullying.

What about when boys are calling swim a “gay” sport and your son an f-word? Is that not bullying too, you dunce?

[Anonymous]

Spending all those hours doing something he doesn't like has a big cost. He won't have them available to explore something he does like. Yes we know it's basketball right now and that's going to get shut down. But he will have that time available to explore New pursuits instead of grinding away at one that he does not enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He won’t forget how to swim. Let him take a year off to see how basketball goes.

Remember, being the best is not the only reason to play a sport:
-physical activity
-mental health
-teamwork
-cameraderie
-time management
-learning to be coached by different people
-FUN!!!!

I’ll say that last one again—fun! If he’s not having fun swimming, why should he continue?

If you are serious about swimming, you can't just take a year off in high school. You lose so much conditioning and technique!