If you've spent time in recovery, you've no doubt heard about the "fantasy of functionality". Our culture won't stop the raging alcoholic while they are still able to function. We need the labor. But that doesn't mean we don't know. Once you've got a problem with alcohol, it shows. I'm sorry you still haven't gotten honest with yourself about your shame and embarrassment. Forgive yourself. But a fearless moral inventory is gonna reveal all the people who knew you were a drunk and didn't care enough to call you out because you were still "functional enough". You weren't fooling them. You are not the magical stealthy alcoholic (and holding to the belief that you are/were is a slip risk, friend). |
To the contrary, I am full of compassion for the fellow addict. I just don't bullshit myself/others about how I was "expert" at hiding my drinking. I went to great lengths to hide the extent of my drinking, because when people who cared about me found out, they were rightfully concerned for my health. But by the time I had a problem with alcohol, it wasn't stealthy at all. If you're all-day drinking, anyone with a nose knows. People who depend on your labor aren't necessarily going to call you out on it, provided you're faking functionality enough that they think you might pull it off (so they don't have to do your job(s) for you). These people often show up on your amends list, if you've worked your steps thoroughly. While our disease is cunning, baffling and powerful, we addicts are very much not. It's just the addict ego that things we're smarter than the booze. |
I never day drank. Shrug. Alcoholics are different. |
BTW you had a problem with alcohol long before you for to the point you woke up reaching for a drink. To think it was under control when you were hiding and people didn't know is delusional. Maybe something to revisit. |
| Please don’t go around judging people by their looks and perhaps falsely assuming they’re an alcoholic because they show signs of jaundice or rhinophyma, etc. There are many other causes of these symptoms besides alcohol. For example, there are many genetic factors that can cause liver disease such as non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. |
Good for you PP, congratulations on your sobriety. The person responding to you is a massive a$$hole. |
| Alcohol should not be allowed at government events paid by taxpayers. |
That's a myth |
| I can always tell who is an alcoholic by how they look and behave. |
+1 Source: The TV show Dr. Pimple Popper |
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Back in oct I started a new skincare routine and have been getting so many compliments about it. At a NYE party, two women literally sat me down and asked for the details. One of the women said "and PLEASE tell me you didnt just stop drinking or something, everyone always says that but I just wont do it" and I said "Nope, not even close, maybe even drinking more eek".
I am likely at LEAST a borderline alcoholic. But you can still be an alcoholic and have people stop you in your tracks to ask about your beauty routine. Soo I don't think it's actually that easy to tell who is and who isn't. People who don't take care of themselves will always look worse, drink or no drink. |
How old are you? |
| Porous big nose and other obvious signs of rosacea, are features that can be exacerbated by alcohol abuse but are present in many white people of Northern European ancestry. Many other factors exacerbate rosacea. The problem is, especially in previous generations, alcohol abuse among Northern European Americans was so prevalent that it got a bit muddled. These days if you see someone with big pores on their nose and rosy cheeks, they may just be a descendent of jutes, picts, angles, etc. |
FWIW, many if rhetorical ones prioritizing being thin and undergoing all kinds of cosmetic Procedures are “high functioning” (what will be labelled “social”) |
I don’t .. Following this thread as a result .. |