If your husband drinks, does he pre-drink before you go to dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dh and I always do this- enjoy a quick drink before we walk out the door to meet friends for dinner. The act of having a drink first is relaxing - forces you to sit and chill and connect before rushing out. And sure i guess it puts you in a more relaxed mood over dinner. I wouldn’t say the one drink provides him a buzz. I’m more of a lightweight so I typically only have half or less of my pre dinner drink. Frankly I’ve been to enough dinners with friends where the friends should have had a drink first…. Because they’re stressed or bickering at dinner. There’s nothing wrong with dh doing this.

Isn’t the more relaxed feeling a buzz? I was thinking that by “buzz,” OP just meant “feeling the effect of alcohol.”
I don’t think she means that he wants to be actively drunk while they are at dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cocktail hour type drinks is not uncommon. I’d definitely prefer this and enjoying a drink over dinner to pounding multiple drinks quickly at dinner

If the total number of drinks is reasonable (based on behavior / mental state etc) I don’t think this in and of itself is a problem

+1

This is what coctail hour is for! In many circles this was the norm, especially in my parents generation (WASPy Boomers). I see it much less in my generation (GenX) and even less in millennial. I see a general trend away from alcohol and toward mocktails for the younger folk. For me, I'd see problematic behavior (drunkenness, binge drinking, drinking everyday) as a problem. Enjoying and evening cocktail before dinner itself is not problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh and I always do this- enjoy a quick drink before we walk out the door to meet friends for dinner. The act of having a drink first is relaxing - forces you to sit and chill and connect before rushing out. And sure i guess it puts you in a more relaxed mood over dinner. I wouldn’t say the one drink provides him a buzz. I’m more of a lightweight so I typically only have half or less of my pre dinner drink. Frankly I’ve been to enough dinners with friends where the friends should have had a drink first…. Because they’re stressed or bickering at dinner. There’s nothing wrong with dh doing this.

Isn’t the more relaxed feeling a buzz? I was thinking that by “buzz,” OP just meant “feeling the effect of alcohol.”
I don’t think she means that he wants to be actively drunk while they are at dinner.

No its 2 different feelings

[Anonymous]

OP, does he have social anxiety? Is he drinking and driving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh and I always do this- enjoy a quick drink before we walk out the door to meet friends for dinner. The act of having a drink first is relaxing - forces you to sit and chill and connect before rushing out. And sure i guess it puts you in a more relaxed mood over dinner. I wouldn’t say the one drink provides him a buzz. I’m more of a lightweight so I typically only have half or less of my pre dinner drink. Frankly I’ve been to enough dinners with friends where the friends should have had a drink first…. Because they’re stressed or bickering at dinner. There’s nothing wrong with dh doing this.

Isn’t the more relaxed feeling a buzz? I was thinking that by “buzz,” OP just meant “feeling the effect of alcohol.”
I don’t think she means that he wants to be actively drunk while they are at dinner.

No its 2 different feelings

I don’t think I get that buzz feeling then. I go from feeling more relaxed of I have 1-2 drinks to feeling kind of drunk if I have any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummmm, no. My husband drinks socially. His goal is not to get buzzed. If he ever accidentally get buzzed, he asks me to drive or we would make a plan to get a ride or take an Uber.

Desiring a buzz and putting so much into achieving and maintaining it is beyond weird and not normal, social drinking behavior.

This - the active need to have the buzz is what is concerning.

**OP said, he will just skip the drinks altogether if he doesn't pregame. That is not needing the buzz, it is preferring it. If her DH "needed" the buzz, he just wouldn't go out if he couldn't enjoy a drink or two ahead of time. He's not skipping the social outing, he's just saying, hey if I can't pregame before getting to the restaurant, I'd rather not waste the money/calories on drinks at that point bc they will not effect me til I'm ready for bed.

Totally different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the dcum people who don’t drink and argue “you shouldn’t need to drink to have fun” are way less fun than they think they are.

Yep. And the only people I know who don’t drink are alcoholics. Hmm….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:dress drink(s) not drunks(s)

Even corrected that’s still a phrase that I’ve never heard.

[Anonymous]

I only drink during one time period a year—when me and my husband go on vacation to celebrate our anniversary. (I get headaches and this is the one time I throw caution to the wind and risk it.)

I have to admit that I prefer going out to a nice dinner with my spouse over drinks. I’m such a lightweight that I’ll only have one drink (two tops)—but I just really savor this once-a-year experience when I can enjoy a nice dinner with a little buzz.

Guess I’m an alcoholic too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh and I always do this- enjoy a quick drink before we walk out the door to meet friends for dinner. The act of having a drink first is relaxing - forces you to sit and chill and connect before rushing out. And sure i guess it puts you in a more relaxed mood over dinner. I wouldn’t say the one drink provides him a buzz. I’m more of a lightweight so I typically only have half or less of my pre dinner drink. Frankly I’ve been to enough dinners with friends where the friends should have had a drink first…. Because they’re stressed or bickering at dinner. There’s nothing wrong with dh doing this.

Isn’t the more relaxed feeling a buzz? I was thinking that by “buzz,” OP just meant “feeling the effect of alcohol.”
I don’t think she means that he wants to be actively drunk while they are at dinner.

No its 2 different feelings

It's not. Just two points on the same spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men I knew who did this were alcoholics, but if you think you buy his explanation and that he doesn't have a problem, then maybe it is just science.

Same. I would wonder how they could possibly be so much drunker than everyone else at the dinner/party so fast....turns out they had quite a head start at home.

My friends would cause this pregaming.

I'm reminded of my Dad who crashed to the floor on Christmas Day. Turns out he had been drinking alcohol in his room all morning. We never saw it.

Drinking in advance of a social situation to catch a buzz to deal with the social situation is alcoholic behavior.

[Anonymous]

Is he having several cocktails at home at the same time every day? That becomes alcoholic behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, he doesn’t do this but he drinks beer with tacos for lunch.

LOL. From the other thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh and I always do this- enjoy a quick drink before we walk out the door to meet friends for dinner. The act of having a drink first is relaxing - forces you to sit and chill and connect before rushing out. And sure i guess it puts you in a more relaxed mood over dinner. I wouldn’t say the one drink provides him a buzz. I’m more of a lightweight so I typically only have half or less of my pre dinner drink. Frankly I’ve been to enough dinners with friends where the friends should have had a drink first…. Because they’re stressed or bickering at dinner. There’s nothing wrong with dh doing this.

Isn’t the more relaxed feeling a buzz? I was thinking that by “buzz,” OP just meant “feeling the effect of alcohol.”
I don’t think she means that he wants to be actively drunk while they are at dinner.

No its 2 different feelings

It's not. Just two points on the same spectrum.

Imagine a world where your experience is different than others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is so weird about alcohol.

Presumably a lot of Muslims and Mormons post here? Plus status conscious prole strivers who are obsessed with all things classy and image.

This is what I think too, there are cultural fringes on the board dominating the conversation. And frigid orthorexics obsessed with their adrenal glands. Imagine a high-income European being this uptight.

High income Europeans don't get drunk like Americans do (of all income levels).