Memorial Day cookout - charge guests for attending?

[Anonymous]

No. This is a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends (three adult siblings) do a big pool party at their parents' compound outside the city. They probably get about 100-120 to show up.

They provide all the food and drinks, games, décor, entertainment (giant inflatable slip n slide rental!), DJ + speaker system but ask people to contribute $50 each to fund the event + professional housecleaning the next day.

No one ever questions the requested contribution because its a big production and everyone is thankful for them hosting.

But obviously the money request goes out with the invitation so everyone knows what to expect. I'm sure they'd get a different reactioni f they invited everyone and then at the last minute said "Hey, we'd like everyone to chip in $50".

OP, you cannot invite people to a party and then later decide to charge them. I think it's also a little late to turn it in to a potluck, so just buy cheaper food. But next time you can put whatever stipulations you want in the invite.

[Anonymous]

Our group of friends are all relatively wealthy and 90% of our at home get togethers are pot luck. Just makes it easier to the hosts to actually enjoy themselves and not worry about the food.

[Anonymous]

No.

If you are not a troll, you either downscale the cookout to hotdogs and hamburgers, or make it potluck and only provide the grilled portion, or you don't have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop. This is DCUM heresy and you will be stoned by charcoal briquettes.

No, it’s just good manners. If you invite someone to eat at your house you don’t present them with a bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, I would be curious to get additional context:

- Is there a reason you feel forced or pressured to host this party? By who?
- Why are you putting together a menu that is difficult for you to afford?
- Importantly, have you already invited people to this? Have they accepted? Was there any mention of the charge before now?
- Have people offered to bring things to the party? If so, what did you say?
- Have you hosted a BBQ before? Have you hosted any sort of social gathering where food is served?

It's highly unusual for me to host a gathering where anyone shows up empty-handed, even if I tell them specifically that all I am hoping for is their presence. It balances out in a way that doesn't feel quite so transactional. I've never been asked to pay a charge, and would find it very odd. If I was, I would just quietly pay it (if I had already accepted the invitation) but unless there was some sort of mitigating explanation, I can't imagine I would accept or extend any future invites.

Agree with all of this. Either scale back or do a potluck if you insist on hosting, OP but charging for an ordinary house party/ BBQ just doesn’t sit well with most people.

[Anonymous]

You should charge guests for parking and bathroom usages too, OP.

Keep it classy!!!

[Anonymous]

Dang, I'd go if I could Venmo, but only if I could leave a Yelp review.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Set up one of those web pages where people sign up for bringing different dishes or raw ingredients, and also add a mention that people are welcome to contribute some money to help cover costs. (Do not suggest a specific amount. People can figure it out )

Don't instruct or insist.

Just as tacky. If you can’t pay for groceries for your own party, don’t have the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Appreciate this thread -- even if it's a troll I think it raises a worthwhile discussion. I wasn't immediately offended by the idea but I think it's because I've been brainwashed to expect less. I work at a federal agency where we are asked to either bring a dish or contribute $ every December to cover the cost of our holiday party which usually consistent of cold cuts and veggie trays from costco. I also remember selling tickets to parties in college to cover the cost of pizza and beer and an offsite rental fee to some farmer's warehouse. My wife would never let us collect money for a party, but I understand the inclination.

Many years ago I worked at an office where the women were expected to bring a dish but the men could contribute $5.00,! When I was approached and asked what I was bringing, I said the same thing as the men. $5.00. the other women followed suit and office parties were held in restaurants after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Appreciate this thread -- even if it's a troll I think it raises a worthwhile discussion. I wasn't immediately offended by the idea but I think it's because I've been brainwashed to expect less. I work at a federal agency where we are asked to either bring a dish or contribute $ every December to cover the cost of our holiday party which usually consistent of cold cuts and veggie trays from costco. I also remember selling tickets to parties in college to cover the cost of pizza and beer and an offsite rental fee to some farmer's warehouse. My wife would never let us collect money for a party, but I understand the inclination.

Many years ago I worked at an office where the women were expected to bring a dish but the men could contribute $5.00,! When I was approached and asked what I was bringing, I said the same thing as the men. $5.00. the other women followed suit and office parties were held in restaurants after that.

My husband worked at a place that did this many years ago!

[Anonymous]

LOL then don't have a party! Or ask ppl to bring stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the most Dutch thing I've ever read. Germans would likely think this wasn't a bad idea either.

Germans would never in a thousand years do this. In Germany the person whose birthday it is hosts their friends and pays....unlike in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HA HA HA HA.

I've gone to your cookout in the past because I didn't want to offend you, but you're not all that, OP. If you dare to charge people, they won't come at all.

Win-win! Cancel your costly party, save your money, and guests will be spared your Deep Moronitude.

Nobody wanted you there. Do everyone a favor and stay home.

[Anonymous]

Looks like asking people to contribute to the party scares off the obnoxious transactional freeloaders who just want to take your food. That's a great reason to do it.