Are you ok w your son having a GF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this point you better hope that they get in a relationship young, because the dating scene in general is such a mess.

This is so accurate and it’s scary and I think it has a lot to do with parents preventing their teens from dating. Then they have no innocent love and firsts while they are still in the house and you can help them out. And the they go from none of that to college drunk hook ups and then to lonely working adults on dating profiles.

Romance and socialization and companionship is dying and I truly believe helicopter parents and the stress and control they put on their kids ruin their teen years. And so if they can’t date, socialize and learn how dating and like/love and boundaries work in person, they sit home like “good kids” and look at porn and sit on social media to learn. It’s not healthy.

I am totally fine with my teens dating

I really agree with all of this. My 16yr old has learned a lot dating and now has had a gf for about 6 months. She’s a really nice girl. Grades have actually gotten better and I think dating prior helped his social skills and his self esteem. I don’t think he would have picked his current gf if he was a player or cared what other teens thought. Watching him mature over the last 2 years (started dating as a freshman) and help guiding him when he asked questions and break-ups have just helped him. He still has a few friends that are home on weekends just playing video games and they are totally different kids. Not bad, just different.

My stepsons spend their weekends playing video games at home. I think it's incredibly unhealthy and if they were my kids I'd make them get out of the house more or at least off screens. But their dad doesnt put any restrictions on their social lives. If they wanted to go out he'd say ok and drive them somewhere. They just...stay home. Yes, I think being out with a girlfriend would be healthier, most likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

They hooked up. You just didn’t know it

DP. You know you’re lying. Many of us have told you that we were good kids.

New poster here. I was a "good kid," too, so I know they exist. But I would never make assumptions about someone else's hook-up habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

They hooked up. You just didn’t know it

DP. You know you’re lying. Many of us have told you that we were good kids.

New poster here. I was a "good kid," too, so I know they exist. But I would never make assumptions about someone else's hook-up habits.

Assumptions like “They hooked up. You just didn’t know it”?

[Anonymous]

Yes totally normal to date in HS

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird if they aren’t dating. It means they are antisocial or a player

[Anonymous]

we don’t like DD relationship, they are getting too serious too fast, like talk about getting married right after HS after dating for a few months because he is religious!!?? … so they can live together??!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we don’t like DD relationship, they are getting too serious too fast, like talk about getting married right after HS after dating for a few months because he is religious!!?? … so they can live together??!!

You never envisioned marrying your first love? I mean calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we don’t like DD relationship, they are getting too serious too fast, like talk about getting married right after HS after dating for a few months because he is religious!!?? … so they can live together??!!

All teens talk about marriage when they date. It rarely amounts to that. Let them be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we don’t like DD relationship, they are getting too serious too fast, like talk about getting married right after HS after dating for a few months because he is religious!!?? … so they can live together??!!

All teens talk about marriage when they date. It rarely amounts to that. Let them be

+1

That isn’t a reason to not like someone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has had a BF for over a year. He is a good kid. At first his parents seemed elated by my DD. Now over a year later DD is getting feeling they don’t like her and the relationship. They don’t go to the same school or live in the same town. They see each other at most once a week but more often every other week or more. They are both great students w serious outside sports commitments. They do things separately with friends. DD thinks BFs parents thought it was cute at first but didn’t expect them to stay together so long - and now think that he shouldn’t be involved in a long term relationship. Dad wants him to be a guys guy and the mom wants him focused only on studies. They are a bit helicopter parents. We on the other hand are totally fine w them being together. It’s not all the time and her academics are good.

Does your DS have a GF and, assuming it’s not an unhealthy situation, are you ok with it? I’m not going to get involved but just curious about what boy parents’ views are. I shouldn’t care but I think my DD is great and can’t understand it for her.

Most moms don't want their boys to like someone more than them. This is why there is a term Monster In Law