Are you ok w your son having a GF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this point you better hope that they get in a relationship young, because the dating scene in general is such a mess.

What do you mean? “Mess” how exactly ?

See forums for people in their 20s on up. If you don't lock someone down in HS or college -- which is now much rarer than it once was -- you're at the mercy of online dating, and that is grim. A lot of the usual social areas have practically shut down in terms of their match-making function, for example it's now almost impossible to meet a spouse at work, for example. And young people's socialization has gone down the tubes, in general, so this is going to get worse.

[Anonymous]

Our 15yr is dating someone and he is much better in a relationship than not. When he’s single he gets into trouble with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 15yr is dating someone and he is much better in a relationship than not. When he’s single he gets into trouble with friends.

That really depends on the girl. My son is dating someone who is not supportive of his lacrosse and seems to be very selfish and demanding. They fight more than they get along lately and he is struggling. He doesn’t talk much to me, so I don’t know the entire story, but she has made comments about “always lacrosse” in front of me. I am not blind to the negativity lacrosse boys tend to have, but it seems extreme with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has had a BF for over a year. He is a good kid. At first his parents seemed elated by my DD. Now over a year later DD is getting feeling they don’t like her and the relationship. They don’t go to the same school or live in the same town. They see each other at most once a week but more often every other week or more. They are both great students w serious outside sports commitments. They do things separately with friends. DD thinks BFs parents thought it was cute at first but didn’t expect them to stay together so long - and now think that he shouldn’t be involved in a long term relationship. Dad wants him to be a guys guy and the mom wants him focused only on studies. They are a bit helicopter parents. We on the other hand are totally fine w them being together. It’s not all the time and her academics are good.

Does your DS have a GF and, assuming it’s not an unhealthy situation, are you ok with it? I’m not going to get involved but just curious about what boy parents’ views are. I shouldn’t care but I think my DD is great and can’t understand it for her.

The Dad wants him to be a guys guy? You mean a player who sleeps around. That’s a big ick.

Yeah OP, I think it’s time your daughter moves on. This isn’t going to end well for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 15yr is dating someone and he is much better in a relationship than not. When he’s single he gets into trouble with friends.

That really depends on the girl. My son is dating someone who is not supportive of his lacrosse and seems to be very selfish and demanding. They fight more than they get along lately and he is struggling. He doesn’t talk much to me, so I don’t know the entire story, but she has made comments about “always lacrosse” in front of me. I am not blind to the negativity lacrosse boys tend to have, but it seems extreme with her.

If he isn’t talking to you about her at all, he probably doesn’t think much of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course my teens can date. Are there parents that forbid it?

Yes many think it’s a distraction from school work. Because many parents forget they were teens once and want their own kids to be scholar robots with only eyes on college.

+1

I hear a lot of this. I partied in the woods, snuck out, had sex, etc… but my kids are not allowed in relationships?

Why? You are sitting here in a million dollar home. Doesn’t seem like it affected you much and you talk about old times fondly. Why are your kids forbidden to do anything.

[Anonymous]

A teenage relationship is one thing. A significant other at another school is different. I would worry about the relationship getting in the way of my child’s relationships with peers at their own school and investing time and energy in their own school community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A teenage relationship is one thing. A significant other at another school is different. I would worry about the relationship getting in the way of my child’s relationships with peers at their own school and investing time and energy in their own school community.

Actually my DC having a significant other at another school has had the opposite effect. Time at school during week is spent with school friends doing school activities with no bf/gf distractions. Also, OP said they see each other a couple times a month. That’s not very much. Separate schools actually has created a natural buffer from it becoming an all consuming relationship.

[Anonymous]

My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

They hooked up. You just didn’t know it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

They hooked up. You just didn’t know it

Oh no, PP sounds familiar. I'm sure her kids were "properly supervised." It's a choice to rein in your kids that much. Not one I'd make (and not because I want them to lose their V-card.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

This is a troll or a delulu parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

They hooked up. You just didn’t know it

DP. You know you’re lying. Many of us have told you that we were good kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids did not date or hook-up in K-12. Mainly because their (and our focus) was on their academics, friend circle, ECs, travel, social obligations and health.

Also, at home there was no cultural pressure on my kids to lose their virginity.

Hilarious lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At this point you better hope that they get in a relationship young, because the dating scene in general is such a mess.

This is so accurate and it’s scary and I think it has a lot to do with parents preventing their teens from dating. Then they have no innocent love and firsts while they are still in the house and you can help them out. And the they go from none of that to college drunk hook ups and then to lonely working adults on dating profiles.

Romance and socialization and companionship is dying and I truly believe helicopter parents and the stress and control they put on their kids ruin their teen years. And so if they can’t date, socialize and learn how dating and like/love and boundaries work in person, they sit home like “good kids” and look at porn and sit on social media to learn. It’s not healthy.

I am totally fine with my teens dating

I really agree with all of this. My 16yr old has learned a lot dating and now has had a gf for about 6 months. She’s a really nice girl. Grades have actually gotten better and I think dating prior helped his social skills and his self esteem. I don’t think he would have picked his current gf if he was a player or cared what other teens thought. Watching him mature over the last 2 years (started dating as a freshman) and help guiding him when he asked questions and break-ups have just helped him. He still has a few friends that are home on weekends just playing video games and they are totally different kids. Not bad, just different.

My stepsons spend their weekends playing video games at home. I think it's incredibly unhealthy and if they were my kids I'd make them get out of the house more or at least off screens. But their dad doesnt put any restrictions on their social lives. If they wanted to go out he'd say ok and drive them somewhere. They just...stay home. Yes, I think being out with a girlfriend would be healthier, most likely.