Walking dates complaints

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I have a single BIL who often vents about OLD. He makes very good money (over 1m) and he will say some women try to only pick expensive places. I asked why he is being so cheap. He said he had no problem taking a girl out that he is actually dating but that is not where he wants to go on a first date with someone he has never actually met. He prefers coffee so it can be very quick. If first meeting goes well, he will take her out on a real date.

My friend said her brother did the same thing. He would pick casual cheap places even though he is rich to weed out gold digger types.

Your BIL and your friend's brother are both incels. This is where this whole walking date/coffee date stuff originates from. Unfortunately, many women don't realize this and cosign it thinking they are being feminist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay peanuts, get monkeys.

This. Dating is an investment of time and resources. You're telling stories about yourself with your choices and actions, not just your words. You don't need to go overboard (that's just the opposite side of this problem), but you shouldn't skimp, either.

You and the PP, clearly, don't consider time a 'resource'. You, just as clearly, consider money the superior resource - an 'ante' a man has to pony up in order to play your dating game. How old fashioned and patriarchal. It's a new millennium.

I'm 58 and much prefer a walking first date. My time is far more valuable than a cup of coffee or lunch. There's less pressure, I like movement, I like seeing things and it's a great opportunity to see if there's potential between us. If it goes well, we can get coffee afterwards.

As a woman I don’t have time or desire to walk with some random guy. If he’s so cheap that he needs a one hour walk to see if it’s worth spending a $3 on tea of coffee, no point even to meet. All my first dates are video check ins, or coffee intro at a favorite bakery

But I am puzzled why OPs GF has such a bitter attitude about other men. When someone offers a walking date you just say no - problem solved. I was never offered one, in fact, men go overboard picking expensive restaurants or venues as first date after we had a video call.

That’s weird and she needs a therapist.

OP is a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I have a single BIL who often vents about OLD. He makes very good money (over 1m) and he will say some women try to only pick expensive places. I asked why he is being so cheap. He said he had no problem taking a girl out that he is actually dating but that is not where he wants to go on a first date with someone he has never actually met. He prefers coffee so it can be very quick. If first meeting goes well, he will take her out on a real date.

My friend said her brother did the same thing. He would pick casual cheap places even though he is rich to weed out gold digger types.

Your BIL and your friend's brother are both incels. This is where this whole walking date/coffee date stuff originates from. Unfortunately, many women don't realize this and cosign it thinking they are being feminist.

My friend’s brother is now married. He comes from a wealthy family meaning he has both family money and he also makes very good money. He ended up marrying a fellow rich woman.

I do think BIL is not good at dating. I just mentioned the whole cheap coffee thing to DH and walking date. I asked him if he would take a girl on a walking date and he just looked at me puzzled. I told him he was a good date, boyfriend and husband. We still go on dates to nice places. We both enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Both sides have probably been burned. A man may be annoyed at the money he has to waste paying for a coffee, dinner or drinks of a first date. A woman may be annoyed she got ready. It takes time and effort to get ready to waste time on a bad date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting and the fact that neither of you can't let this simple crap go does not bode well for your future.

What might be simple for some of you might not be simple for others. My gf is very upset over it and would benefit from alternative perspectives

She is high maintenance, run

[Anonymous]

All of you married people who have never had to do OLD - stop adding your opinions. In general men who ask you on walking or coffee dates are dating so many women at a time that you’re just another number. They’re literally treating these dates like a job interview and it’s a huge turn off. No woman with options would agree to this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I have a single BIL who often vents about OLD. He makes very good money (over 1m) and he will say some women try to only pick expensive places. I asked why he is being so cheap. He said he had no problem taking a girl out that he is actually dating but that is not where he wants to go on a first date with someone he has never actually met. He prefers coffee so it can be very quick. If first meeting goes well, he will take her out on a real date.

My friend said her brother did the same thing. He would pick casual cheap places even though he is rich to weed out gold digger types.

Your BIL and your friend's brother are both incels. This is where this whole walking date/coffee date stuff originates from. Unfortunately, many women don't realize this and cosign it thinking they are being feminist.

This. Men who hate women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend also says that they only wanted to go for a walk and as soon as she suggested to go for Coffee they blocked her and on the date when she asked to go to a bar, they refused. This experience made her very bitter, and I feel for her. But I believe it might be a bit overblown.

She best adjust herself. I’m a woman and can understand that a man may not want to be paying for 50 first dates. What’s wrong w a walk and talk for a first meeting. Especially during spring on the dmv?

Maybe they should be better at screening so they aren’t going on 50 dates in the first place? As a woman who has been on OLD, there aren’t 50 men worth going out with.

[Anonymous]

None of my walking or coffee dates led to second dates. Sushi dates were weirdos or jerks.

[Anonymous]

If you’re already in a relationship this seems like a weird thing for you two to be arguing about. Didn’t you already have your first date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay peanuts, get monkeys.

This. Dating is an investment of time and resources. You're telling stories about yourself with your choices and actions, not just your words. You don't need to go overboard (that's just the opposite side of this problem), but you shouldn't skimp, either.

You and the PP, clearly, don't consider time a 'resource'. You, just as clearly, consider money the superior resource - an 'ante' a man has to pony up in order to play your dating game. How old fashioned and patriarchal. It's a new millennium.

I'm 58 and much prefer a walking first date. My time is far more valuable than a cup of coffee or lunch. There's less pressure, I like movement, I like seeing things and it's a great opportunity to see if there's potential between us. If it goes well, we can get coffee afterwards.

As a woman I don’t have time or desire to walk with some random guy. If he’s so cheap that he needs a one hour walk to see if it’s worth spending a $3 on tea of coffee, no point even to meet. All my first dates are video check ins, or coffee intro at a favorite bakery

But I am puzzled why OPs GF has such a bitter attitude about other men. When someone offers a walking date you just say no - problem solved. I was never offered one, in fact, men go overboard picking expensive restaurants or venues as first date after we had a video call.

That’s weird and she needs a therapist.

OP is a troll

+1. Another relationship fight about nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married, but I always liked a happy hour first date. I would try to get there a little early and get my own glass of wine, that way I could dip out easily after one drink if I wasn’t feeling it, and if we did hit it off we could segue into dinner.

A walk date seems awkward because there’s not a natural end point.

What, pray tell, is the 'natural end point' of a date at a bar?

I’m talking about a weeknight happy hour - after work & before dinner. Neither party expects to hang out for hours (but the option is right there to get a table and have dinner if you really hit it off and want to keep the date going after you finish your drink).

My last date was a happy hr meetup at 530 and we talked til 9. He didn’t suggest any food, or even a bar snack, which I found odd. He turned out to be really uptight unsurprisingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend and I met via online dating and we are deeply in love. However, we have an ongoing debate about walking dates as a first date and I would like to hear some opinions.

She believes it is a sign of disrespect and that the man who invites her on a walking date just doesn't want to spend any money.

I on the other hand believe it is just fine as a first date, as you get to know someone in a casual way.

What was your first date with her, OP? Is this a conflict about her thinking you were disrespectful, or is she observing something in general, such that this is really a very stupid thing to debate about?

We went for coffee which we both enjoyed. If you have not got anything better to do than post nasty comments,then do t even bother posting.

If you had a nice first date with her that met both of your needs, why are you discussing other men's "disrespectful" first date strategies? If she thinks those dates were disrespectful, fine. I wouldn't. You clearly don't. But she is her own person with her own needs. It sounds like her main complaint is that she found a lot of the men she met online did not want to put any effort into getting to know her or going on real dates. She does not seem to have that complaint with you. Problem solved.

The problem is not solved, because she still feels bitter about it and is sometimes even angry about it

Wow that’s insane. Literally insane. I’m a woman who married the guy I was dating at 18 and we were super broke for many years. We have money now and I still love walking dates, dates to play tennis things like that are truly my favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you married people who have never had to do OLD - stop adding your opinions. In general men who ask you on walking or coffee dates are dating so many women at a time that you’re just another number. They’re literally treating these dates like a job interview and it’s a huge turn off. No woman with options would agree to this

That's pretty much the point of a first date isnt it? Why would you be upset about this?

[Anonymous]

Middle aged man here. One reason I like walks for first dates is that we can talk about things we see, and conversations usually flow really well even if we don't see anything interesting. Meeting for coffee also can be nice. Drinking alcohol on the first date isn't ideal in my opinion. Women sometimes say crazy stuff when they drink. I'll happily pay for a nice dinner but I don't usually have good experiences with fancy dinners as first dates.