Public versus private - did the private school save you any time or stress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A boarding school or top country day school, sure. But most privates are lacking in the extra curricular activities, and what they do offer on-site is not comparable to the quality you get off-site at an independent provider of lessons/coaching/whatever. I'm all for getring the free education and using the savings to pay for high quality enrichment outside of school.

For the upper middle class, the value proposition was there when private schools are $15,000-20,000/yr (and some Catholic schools still are). But as tuition starts to break $60,000 and the college matriculation appears to be a crapshoot regardless of the schools you go to (when you control for ability and not count the donors/legacies and URMs), it just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. At a certain point, just like stay at home parents, it probably starts to make more sense to invest some of your own time with your kids, you might even get better returns.

[Anonymous]

Hot lunch made from scratch at school (not reheated!), a quality music program, and solid art gave me the willingness to allow an intense after-school sport and takes the pressure off making a perfectly balanced dinner every night. Uniforms were an unexpected win. We have an exchange closet and I basically only buy socks and a couple of fresh blouses once a year. Not having to chase clothing sizes and trends makes a big difference in my life.

On the other hand, the afterschool activities that would make my life more convenient that our private school offers are ones that my DD refused to do. So instead I drive 35 minutes multiple days a week right after school to her main activity.

[Anonymous]

Reading this is wild and makes me sad for kids. Maybe while you are sitting in the car waiting during their multiple weekly evening activities you could read the literature on how overscheduling kids hurts more than helps them. My kids have been at both a large DCPS elementary and private. The public elementary, because it was so big, offered a ton of after school enrichment choices, foreign language, competitive sports, music lessons, etc. They picked what they wanted to do from this or didn’t, had it right after school, and were home with plenty of time for play for the rest of the day. The private, although it was larger for a private, was still smaller than the public and couldn’t offer as much. I will say that the public lunch was gross so we sometimes had to pack it, and it was nice not doing that at the private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My kids have been at both a large DCPS elementary and private. The public elementary, because it was so big, offered a ton of after school enrichment choices, foreign language, competitive sports, music lessons, etc. They picked what they wanted to do from this or didn’t, had it right after school, and were home with plenty of time for play for the rest of the day. The private, although it was larger for a private, was still smaller than the public and couldn’t offer as much. I will say that the public lunch was gross so we sometimes had to pack it, and it was nice not doing that at the private.

Depends on where one lives, I suppose, and how wealthy a family might be.

Our FCPS ES has zero after school options, zero. We could pay a local church, which has an “after school program” and will pickup kids using a church van from our ES, to send our kids there. But we are not members of that church and their “program” is mostly supervised child care until parents finish work and pickup the kids (some kind of aftercare is essential for many families). That FCPS ES cafeteria reportedly has been closed most of the year due to some issue, so hot lunch is not an option either at least this year, though allegedly the cafeteria will reopen next fall. When it was open, the food was highly processed and not very nutritious. (Also —- We both work, cannot afford a nanny, do not have a house large enough for a live in nanny, and cannot drive kids here and there after their school ends mid-afternoon due to work.)

By contrast, our private has good quality hot lunch (not brought in restaurant food). Their optional after school activities are reasonably priced and include soccer, running, dance, chess, art, math club, science club, etc. Kids get to play and learn with their friends. One of us goes in early to work and handles the pickup from school, while the other parent handles breakfast and makes sure kids get to school safely. It is a no-brainer to stay private for now.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised how many people are talking about how important a hot lunch at school is to them. This doesn't even cross my mind as a reason to be in public or private. I don't see the issue with the kids packing leftovers or a sandwich and fruit for lunch. Is that not healthy enough for everyone? Institutional food is almost always lower quality and poorer nutrition than homemade food anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People ought to choose whichever approach works best for their family.

I think this is the only sane reply on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how many people are talking about how important a hot lunch at school is to them. This doesn't even cross my mind as a reason to be in public or private. I don't see the issue with the kids packing leftovers or a sandwich and fruit for lunch. Is that not healthy enough for everyone? Institutional food is almost always lower quality and poorer nutrition than homemade food anyway.

Mine either, but DH is an amazing cook so having hot or not hot lunch doesn't do much for our family like the poster above who worries less about a good dinner every night. We're making something great for dinner regardless of what the kids eat for lunch. Lunches at our public aren't great and we don't have amazing hot lunch at the private we are switching to, so it's moot for our family anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is shady. What public school in this country doesn’t have hot lunch?

Also, what public school doesn’t have math daily?

Instruments - has anyone ever seen instrumental groups offered younger than third at public schools? Can’t understand how this is a shock to anyone. Kids get exposed to basics in music special.

Yeah, agree. And public elementary schools typically don’t offer organized sports teams or clubs after school. That starts in middle schools. Nor do kids play instruments. Maybe in later elementary school (4-5th grade) band/orchestra starts if they pick that option.

Yep I’m pretty sure to receive any federal funding public schools must serve hot lunch.

…unless the school kitchen is closed for a (botched, and stretched out) renovation, which prevented cooking a hot lunch, as did happen at a NoVa public elementary.

My kid goes to public school in a UMC Chicago suburb. The cafeterias in the ESs in our district do not have kitchens. The district offers a "special lunch" program where local fast casual places offer lunch each day, and you can order (through an on-line system) whatever days you'd like...it's not cheap. Eateries are things like Panera, Noodles, pizza places, etc... My kid gets special lunch like 1-2 times a week.

I don't need aftercare, but the way it works at our district is you can sign up for just aftercare, which will have little structured activities, or you can sign up for a whole bunch of enrichment activities on top of aftercare (or just sign up for enrichments) ...musical instruments, sports, chess, different art offerings, lots of STEM offerings, etc.. Our ES also has a band and orchestra and choir starting in 4th grade, school play open to 3rd graders an up, and does Girls on the Run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how many people are talking about how important a hot lunch at school is to them. This doesn't even cross my mind as a reason to be in public or private. I don't see the issue with the kids packing leftovers or a sandwich and fruit for lunch. Is that not healthy enough for everyone? Institutional food is almost always lower quality and poorer nutrition than homemade food anyway.

Mine either, but DH is an amazing cook so having hot or not hot lunch doesn't do much for our family like the poster above who worries less about a good dinner every night. We're making something great for dinner regardless of what the kids eat for lunch. Lunches at our public aren't great and we don't have amazing hot lunch at the private we are switching to, so it's moot for our family anyway.

I posted about hot lunch taking the pressure off dinner- I'm a good cook and am also making something great for dinner no matter what. My DD barely picks at a packed lunch and will maybe eat a bite of some sandwich, some thermos leftovers, and some fruit. Everything else sits in the lunchbox. If she has hot lunch, I know she will eat most of her meal and the variety served at school means she is getting calories, nutrition, and being pushed to try new things. Her school serves beautiful curries, fresh roasted chicken, stir fries, etc. and she will eat things there that she might not try at home. It also allows me to be more experimental with dinner. I can push her boundaries at home and take risks with something with more seafood or spice and I don't panic if she doesn't eat much because I know she had a healthy lunch.

[Anonymous]

It really depends. At our public school we have a well organized after school program until 6pm on campus, so it makes life much easier. The school also does other activities like Lego club, debate, drama.

Some private schools have similar stuff going on, while smaller ones don’t have the quorum to support it.

There’s no right answer between private and public, it depends on your individual situation including how financially secure you are. And even the best schools and after school activities doesn’t substitute for actual parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised how many people are talking about how important a hot lunch at school is to them. This doesn't even cross my mind as a reason to be in public or private. I don't see the issue with the kids packing leftovers or a sandwich and fruit for lunch. Is that not healthy enough for everyone? Institutional food is almost always lower quality and poorer nutrition than homemade food anyway.

Mine either, but DH is an amazing cook so having hot or not hot lunch doesn't do much for our family like the poster above who worries less about a good dinner every night. We're making something great for dinner regardless of what the kids eat for lunch. Lunches at our public aren't great and we don't have amazing hot lunch at the private we are switching to, so it's moot for our family anyway.

I posted about hot lunch taking the pressure off dinner- I'm a good cook and am also making something great for dinner no matter what. My DD barely picks at a packed lunch and will maybe eat a bite of some sandwich, some thermos leftovers, and some fruit. Everything else sits in the lunchbox. If she has hot lunch, I know she will eat most of her meal and the variety served at school means she is getting calories, nutrition, and being pushed to try new things. Her school serves beautiful curries, fresh roasted chicken, stir fries, etc. and she will eat things there that she might not try at home. It also allows me to be more experimental with dinner. I can push her boundaries at home and take risks with something with more seafood or spice and I don't panic if she doesn't eat much because I know she had a healthy lunch.

If you pay $18k for 180 school days, that lunch is costing you $100/day. If you are paying $36k, then its $200/day. Hope its a really good lunch for that price!

[Anonymous]

One advantage to private is that you can put all your kids there. It is a huge lifesaver when all of them are staying after school doing clubs/sports. We don’t have to pick up multiple kids and drive them. No more “divide and conquer”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: My kids have been at both a large DCPS elementary and private. The public elementary, because it was so big, offered a ton of after school enrichment choices, foreign language, competitive sports, music lessons, etc. They picked what they wanted to do from this or didn’t, had it right after school, and were home with plenty of time for play for the rest of the day. The private, although it was larger for a private, was still smaller than the public and couldn’t offer as much. I will say that the public lunch was gross so we sometimes had to pack it, and it was nice not doing that at the private.

Depends on where one lives, I suppose, and how wealthy a family might be.

Our FCPS ES has zero after school options, zero. We could pay a local church, which has an “after school program” and will pickup kids using a church van from our ES, to send our kids there. But we are not members of that church and their “program” is mostly supervised child care until parents finish work and pickup the kids (some kind of aftercare is essential for many families). That FCPS ES cafeteria reportedly has been closed most of the year due to some issue, so hot lunch is not an option either at least this year, though allegedly the cafeteria will reopen next fall. When it was open, the food was highly processed and not very nutritious. (Also —- We both work, cannot afford a nanny, do not have a house large enough for a live in nanny, and cannot drive kids here and there after their school ends mid-afternoon due to work.)

By contrast, our private has good quality hot lunch (not brought in restaurant food). Their optional after school activities are reasonably priced and include soccer, running, dance, chess, art, math club, science club, etc. Kids get to play and learn with their friends. One of us goes in early to work and handles the pickup from school, while the other parent handles breakfast and makes sure kids get to school safely. It is a no-brainer to stay private for now.

Not sure where you live but our FCPS elementary school offers science, chess, art, cooking, dance, robotics, drama and I’m sure I’m missing more. We moved once within fcps and our former elementary school also offered art, robotics, chess, odyssey of the mind, coding, etc. our current school is an AAP center so we have a lot of academic activities like Science Olympiad, Mathcounts, Quizbowl, some sort of literature competition, spelling bee, geography bee, chess club and they started Go recently.

[Anonymous]

We did private K onward.
Loved the specials and all that exposure but had to supplement and drill math, phonics and spelling since there were no tests or graded work or worksheets that weren’t mainly conceptual for k-4.
Many did more math outside of school

[Anonymous]

Why do so many families supplement academics? I’m truly interested.

Is it because your child is falling behind in their curriculum or you’re trying to give them an edge over their peers?