Public versus private - did the private school save you any time or stress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about the quality of aftercare activities? I only have experience with our top private school in elementary, but the aftercare activities (and there are many) are a waste of time and money. We tried a few and my kids learned nothing. It’s fun because they hangout with friends, but we decided to stop paying and invest in out of school activities for them where they are actually learning.

What out of school activities are they in that are worth it? We had a similar experience with in school. I’m not sure what would be worth it outside of school. I’m guessing even paid activities outside of school are often a waste of time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about the quality of aftercare activities? I only have experience with our top private school in elementary, but the aftercare activities (and there are many) are a waste of time and money. We tried a few and my kids learned nothing. It’s fun because they hangout with friends, but we decided to stop paying and invest in out of school activities for them where they are actually learning.

Ours are provided by vendors: some are good and some aren't. The same was true in public except that the good ones filled up within minutes on registration day.

I'm not sure what you expect as far as learning - we've done chess, fencing, and different kinds of art. Extra academics are not offered after school at ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose public over private because we thought we couldn't justify the cost when we live in a decent school district. My child is only starting elementary, but already the schedule is crazy because it turns out there isn't much offered at school. No sports, clubs, instruments, and not much art, not much math, no hot lunch, so we are supplementing all of that. Activities are way more PTA and parent run mishmash as opposed to well organized by faculty (which is what I seem to remember having attended private). Add in outside math tutoring, outside ELA curriculum, camps, aftercare, art class... I'm no longer sure private is looking THAT terrible in terms of maybe spending a bit more to get more time back. I know private school kids also supplement, but it feels like we are spending a lot of everything instead of just one or two things. If you went private for your children, I'm wondering if it saved you any time or stress because more was offered on site and/or more info and guidance was available to you rather than things being pieced together however parents can find?

Holy cow lady. Your K/1st grader does not need sports, clubs, instruments, and supplemental math and language arts. You are inventing a problem. And I've never heard of a public school that does not serve hot lunch - where is this?

This is the only sane reply

[Anonymous]

Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We chose public over private because we thought we couldn't justify the cost when we live in a decent school district. My child is only starting elementary, but already the schedule is crazy because it turns out there isn't much offered at school. No sports, clubs, instruments, and not much art, not much math, no hot lunch, so we are supplementing all of that. Activities are way more PTA and parent run mishmash as opposed to well organized by faculty (which is what I seem to remember having attended private). Add in outside math tutoring, outside ELA curriculum, camps, aftercare, art class... I'm no longer sure private is looking THAT terrible in terms of maybe spending a bit more to get more time back. I know private school kids also supplement, but it feels like we are spending a lot of everything instead of just one or two things. If you went private for your children, I'm wondering if it saved you any time or stress because more was offered on site and/or more info and guidance was available to you rather than things being pieced together however parents can find?

Why did you have children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

100%

Many private schools have become coddled places for snowflakes and producing extremely fragile people. This might be okay if you have a large trust fund and it matters little what you do, but it is a deadly combination if you’re merely upper middle class. The DEI curriculum is completely over the top with mandatory workshops for parents too.

A $14.99 phonics book purchased off Amazon and five minutes a day for a month taught my son to read what a year of fancy selective private school kindergarten could not. Just think about that value proposition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

100%

Many private schools have become coddled places for snowflakes and producing extremely fragile people. This might be okay if you have a large trust fund and it matters little what you do, but it is a deadly combination if you’re merely upper middle class. The DEI curriculum is completely over the top with mandatory workshops for parents too.

A $14.99 phonics book purchased off Amazon and five minutes a day for a month taught my son to read what a year of fancy selective private school kindergarten could not. Just think about that value proposition.

You guys may have picked bad privates? Sorry.

Our K-8 has a reasonable but not extreme emphasis on DEI and teaches my kid a ton. And I don’t expect any school to teach Beast Academy/AOPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

100%

Many private schools have become coddled places for snowflakes and producing extremely fragile people. This might be okay if you have a large trust fund and it matters little what you do, but it is a deadly combination if you’re merely upper middle class. The DEI curriculum is completely over the top with mandatory workshops for parents too.

A $14.99 phonics book purchased off Amazon and five minutes a day for a month taught my son to read what a year of fancy selective private school kindergarten could not. Just think about that value proposition.

You guys may have picked bad privates? Sorry.

Our K-8 has a reasonable but not extreme emphasis on DEI and teaches my kid a ton. And I don’t expect any school to teach Beast Academy/AOPS.

AOPS is pretty standard math curriculum done right. Why spend $40-60k a year if you can’t teach basic math curriculum than can be covered at a tiny fraction of that cost?

[Anonymous]

Hell yes it did

[Anonymous]

A boarding school or top country day school, sure. But most privates are lacking in the extra curricular activities, and what they do offer on-site is not comparable to the quality you get off-site at an independent provider of lessons/coaching/whatever. I'm all for getring the free education and using the savings to pay for high quality enrichment outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

100%

Many private schools have become coddled places for snowflakes and producing extremely fragile people. This might be okay if you have a large trust fund and it matters little what you do, but it is a deadly combination if you’re merely upper middle class. The DEI curriculum is completely over the top with mandatory workshops for parents too.

A $14.99 phonics book purchased off Amazon and five minutes a day for a month taught my son to read what a year of fancy selective private school kindergarten could not. Just think about that value proposition.

Haha! Needed that laugh. What a ridiculous conclusion.

[Anonymous]

People ought to choose whichever approach works best for their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interestingly enough I was just having this convo with my friend. She lives in a good school district where everyone sends public, I’m in a circle sending to private. Her kids and circle are incredibly over scheduled - like a million sports and extracurriculars outside of school in prek, and in my circle, kids do things outside of school, but a lot of activities are offered onsite after school (for a fee) which is better for working parents. We grew up going to private school and we did activities outside of school, but maybe 1-2 dance classes per week type thing and then a sport through school. I think private schools offer more on site, and additionally, perhaps people paying for private school aren’t also paying 20k a year for a million enrichment activities in elementary school.

Public school, Christian and Catholic school parents go OTT because they feel guilty about not being able to afford a good private (independent) and want to compensate either directly or indirectly for the deficiencies either directly through academic tutoring or indirectly through other activities.

You’re joking right? I went to private my whole life and my kids started off at a “good private.” I was shocked by how much conditions had changed for the worse. My private taught me how to speak fluent French. Meanwhile, my children could barely say their names in Spanish after YEARS of instruction. My private taught Shakespeare in 3rd grade. My kids’ private had Lucy Calkins. But the sh-t really hit the fan when I started having to supplement math enrichment with Beast Academy.

If I could send my kids to my private the way it was 30 years ago, I would, but I can’t. That same school is now obsessed with equity and DEI instead of educating. It’s got nothing to do with money or affordability, the good public in my area has a better academic program. We made the switch, we supplement, but we had to do that while at the private, too.

I’m not some ostrich sticking my head in the sand while confusing unbridled elitism with academics.

100%

Many private schools have become coddled places for snowflakes and producing extremely fragile people. This might be okay if you have a large trust fund and it matters little what you do, but it is a deadly combination if you’re merely upper middle class. The DEI curriculum is completely over the top with mandatory workshops for parents too.

A $14.99 phonics book purchased off Amazon and five minutes a day for a month taught my son to read what a year of fancy selective private school kindergarten could not. Just think about that value proposition.

Haha! Needed that laugh. What a ridiculous conclusion.

I agree with the other poster. Ultimately you know your kids the best and nothing replaces parenting and proper modeling.

You can pay $50k and not achieve the same results as some one on one time with your kid and a ten dollar book.