Public versus private - did the private school save you any time or stress?

[Anonymous]

We chose public over private because we thought we couldn't justify the cost when we live in a decent school district. My child is only starting elementary, but already the schedule is crazy because it turns out there isn't much offered at school. No sports, clubs, instruments, and not much art, not much math, no hot lunch, so we are supplementing all of that. Activities are way more PTA and parent run mishmash as opposed to well organized by faculty (which is what I seem to remember having attended private). Add in outside math tutoring, outside ELA curriculum, camps, aftercare, art class... I'm no longer sure private is looking THAT terrible in terms of maybe spending a bit more to get more time back. I know private school kids also supplement, but it feels like we are spending a lot of everything instead of just one or two things. If you went private for your children, I'm wondering if it saved you any time or stress because more was offered on site and/or more info and guidance was available to you rather than things being pieced together however parents can find?

[Anonymous]

Interested, as we are looking to answer the same question. Private sure sounded like they would do more for my kids in elementary (but then again probably less in upper school).

[Anonymous]

Interesting, i had never imagined that private school would do more on that front but will be also interested in the responses.

From the friends i know who are doing private, I don't see how they get more enrichments outside of class. Reason i know that is that they are doing the same extracurricular as our kids (soccer team, piano lessons, bouldering, art or gymnastics class etc..) and seem to be coming out of school at same time.

Maybe they do less in terms of tutoring? We do extra math and language classes and i would expect that private school would offer more flexbility to supplement on both end of spectrum (for kids ahead and kids falling behind). But that is just a guess

[Anonymous]

Kind of—better aftercare. But better as in more fun, smaller group, more choices—not instrumental lessons or organized sports. You’ll still do extracurriculars outside school, probably. Most do. And they have a shorter year and are closed more (but did offer camps for random days off). You’ll have to pay for extra summer childcare though.

[Anonymous]

Our private was also very quick to suggest expensive tutors, therapists, etc—with the expectation we’d do whatever they suggested. I think most families did those things.

[Anonymous]

I'm just shocked to read about all the supplemental stuff parents are having their kids do. My kid goes to public, and he has a bit of homework (math and reading each night - prob 30 min total) that he does by himself - he's in 4th. He plays a couple of sports - recreational level and one practice a week in the evening and one game on the weekend. He began playing an instrument in school band and practices a few times a week and takes one 30 minute zoom lesson a week. I pack his lunch daily - it's not a hot lunch. Maybe I'm a lousy parent, but I don't feel like I'm running around too much. I think he is getting a well-balanced exposure to music, sports and a decent education from what I can tell. He's not really into art, but he has it at school once a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just shocked to read about all the supplemental stuff parents are having their kids do. My kid goes to public, and he has a bit of homework (math and reading each night - prob 30 min total) that he does by himself - he's in 4th. He plays a couple of sports - recreational level and one practice a week in the evening and one game on the weekend. He began playing an instrument in school band and practices a few times a week and takes one 30 minute zoom lesson a week. I pack his lunch daily - it's not a hot lunch. Maybe I'm a lousy parent, but I don't feel like I'm running around too much. I think he is getting a well-balanced exposure to music, sports and a decent education from what I can tell. He's not really into art, but he has it at school once a week.

If you list it all out, the kid is doing 2 extras per day. Two team sport games per week is a lot.

-rec sport 2x/week
-another rec sport 2x/week
-zoom lesson
-almost daily instrument practice

[Anonymous]

This is a significant reason we went private - supplementation was sucking up far too much of our time. It is much more relaxing to have school as an academic source vs. them being a venue for, at best, extra practice while the real learning happens elsewhere.

But you do need to pick your private school carefully; there are quite a few out there with similar drawbacks -- even now, you'll find quite a few allegedly elite, ultra expensive schools with beautiful campuses embracing Lucy Caulkins's execrable reading and writing programs.

[Anonymous]

No one has pointed out what seems to be an obvious "time" consideration -- how close you live to your public school and how close are the private schools you are considering? Chances are they are further from your home and your child will then have parties and playdates further from your neighborhood. Their school sports teams may also be part of an independent league with away games further from home. Just something to keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just shocked to read about all the supplemental stuff parents are having their kids do. My kid goes to public, and he has a bit of homework (math and reading each night - prob 30 min total) that he does by himself - he's in 4th. He plays a couple of sports - recreational level and one practice a week in the evening and one game on the weekend. He began playing an instrument in school band and practices a few times a week and takes one 30 minute zoom lesson a week. I pack his lunch daily - it's not a hot lunch. Maybe I'm a lousy parent, but I don't feel like I'm running around too much. I think he is getting a well-balanced exposure to music, sports and a decent education from what I can tell. He's not really into art, but he has it at school once a week.

We're not doing it all at once. One or two sports at a time. Instrument which is a lesson once per week and practice 6x/week. The other activities slot in. 2 weeks of art class over the summer. 1 session of math enrichment during a semester or over the summer. Math and ELA at home as needed or as we find time. But my selfish take is I kind of wish art, math, and ELA were done more at school, so we could take more summer vacation and so I didn't feel pressured to search for and buy all these extras and implement at home. Not to mention all the driving. The endless driving!

[Anonymous]

The private school our DD goes to has aftercare and a ton of after school clubs/classes. We have to send her with lunch.

[Anonymous]

My kid is only in Pre-K, and we went straight to private, so I can’t fairly do a comparison. But, I can share what we see and experience—

The after-care program at my kid’s school offers art lessons, music/instrument lessons, and various sports lessons. There are also multiple sports teams at the school. My kid was too young for any of this in PreK, but he can start next year (I think). In the meantime, the regular aftercare program is fantastic.

Communication is excellent. We receive one email a week and everything we need to know is in there. There aren’t six other emails coming during by the week and we are well informed about everything.

There is no chaos. This was one of the biggest things for me. Every single thing is well organized and well managed. Whether it’s back to school night, holiday programming, or just a random Thursday. Everything runs smoothly.

Every kid is so incredibly well known not just by the teachers, but also the administration. They have the time, space, and resources to just focus on the kids.

The teachers seem really happy and have the resources they need/want. My kid comes home with the coolest projects, and I know the teachers didn’t have to go buy the materials themselves. The library is filled with incredible books and when I asked the librarian if she feels like she has what she needs, she told me “absolutely. If I need a book, the school buys it. No questions asked.”

It’s a big decision and the financial commitment is not insignificant; but it has been incredible and absolutely worth it.

[Anonymous]

The more threads like this I read, the more I think it's such a crap shoot in terms of what your elementary school offers, whether public or private.

One comment I have is to actually talk to parents of older kids at your elementary before drawing too many conclusions. I felt just like this when my kid was in PK (which in our district is at the public school) and K, but then starting in 1st our school offers a much better after care program, and I've also discovered a lot of activities starts at 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th grade, depending on the activity. So actually our school offers a lot of program, most of it organized by the school, in a formal way through the PTA, or by longtime teachers. But this was sort of invisible to us as ECE parents because they offer very little for that age group.

I also know people who have kids in private who complain about having to supplement on top of pay private school fees, and sometimes complain about limited programming for elementary depending on the size of the school. Some people wind up at tiny private elementaries because when they enrolled their 5 year old in school, a very small school with small classes sounded great. But when you have a 3rd grader and you have to pay separately for them to participate in really basic activities like chorus, or transport them to another campus for Girls on the Run or Girlscouts (that a larger school might just host on campus because they have the critical mass to run it through the school), that small environment is less appealing.

It also comes down to how many kids you have and what your personal family logistics are with things like commute and bandwidth to drive your kid to after school activities. Everyone is different. I think here are pluses and minuses to most schools, and also that some schools will work great for one family and then be a disaster for another and it's about fit more than quality, once you are looking at schools above a certain threshold for academic quality.

[Anonymous]

This thread is shady. What public school in this country doesn’t have hot lunch?

Also, what public school doesn’t have math daily?

Instruments - has anyone ever seen instrumental groups offered younger than third at public schools? Can’t understand how this is a shock to anyone. Kids get exposed to basics in music special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We chose public over private because we thought we couldn't justify the cost when we live in a decent school district. My child is only starting elementary, but already the schedule is crazy because it turns out there isn't much offered at school. No sports, clubs, instruments, and not much art, not much math, no hot lunch, so we are supplementing all of that. Activities are way more PTA and parent run mishmash as opposed to well organized by faculty (which is what I seem to remember having attended private). Add in outside math tutoring, outside ELA curriculum, camps, aftercare, art class... I'm no longer sure private is looking THAT terrible in terms of maybe spending a bit more to get more time back. I know private school kids also supplement, but it feels like we are spending a lot of everything instead of just one or two things. If you went private for your children, I'm wondering if it saved you any time or stress because more was offered on site and/or more info and guidance was available to you rather than things being pieced together however parents can find?

Holy cow lady. Your K/1st grader does not need sports, clubs, instruments, and supplemental math and language arts. You are inventing a problem. And I've never heard of a public school that does not serve hot lunch - where is this?