PSA Don’t give gifts that require parent to do most of activity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid whining and crying for us to sew with her, do this science experiment and do a rainbow loom with a million tiny rubber bands. Ugh.

Your kid is excited about something and wants to share it with you. And you're annoyed. Wow.

DP

Actually, I'm trying to foster autonomy and these kits encourage DEPENDENCE, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. We do plenty together which usually involves being outside having shared experiences. I agree with OP - too much parental dependence, too much mess, too any tiny intricate parts that break easily or never work. Just give her a football, jump rope, Lego, doll, books, something she can do on her own, or nothing.

Do the "shared outdoor experiences" you value involve training your kid in sports?

OP here. I love outdoor experiences and sporting gear.

The sewing gift ended up being a big hit at the end. My husband sewed this thing for over an hour. Every part that my 6 year old sewed, he had to basically redo. A toy that requires an adult to sew multiple different pieces together for over an hour is not something a 6 year old can do on her own.

You said yourself it was a big hit. Your daughter enjoyed time with her father. Take a breath. This is parenting. Maybe you should have stopped after your “older kids” if stuff like this is going to trigger you so much.

I want to link the bad gift but in the very tiny chance that the gift giver is on DCUM, I won’t.

My oldest child is now 14. I have thrown a birthday party every year for every kid. We have received lots of gifts both good and bad over the past decade.

This sewing gift was the single worst gift we have ever received. Plenty of toys that have never been opened or played with. No gift, fine. Just a card, great.

So what? Definitely not worth the angst and anger you have felt over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid whining and crying for us to sew with her, do this science experiment and do a rainbow loom with a million tiny rubber bands. Ugh.

Your kid is excited about something and wants to share it with you. And you're annoyed. Wow.

DP

Actually, I'm trying to foster autonomy and these kits encourage DEPENDENCE, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. We do plenty together which usually involves being outside having shared experiences. I agree with OP - too much parental dependence, too much mess, too any tiny intricate parts that break easily or never work. Just give her a football, jump rope, Lego, doll, books, something she can do on her own, or nothing.

Do the "shared outdoor experiences" you value involve training your kid in sports?

OP here. I love outdoor experiences and sporting gear.

The sewing gift ended up being a big hit at the end. My husband sewed this thing for over an hour. Every part that my 6 year old sewed, he had to basically redo. A toy that requires an adult to sew multiple different pieces together for over an hour is not something a 6 year old can do on her own.

You said yourself it was a big hit. Your daughter enjoyed time with her father. Take a breath. This is parenting. Maybe you should have stopped after your “older kids” if stuff like this is going to trigger you so much.

I want to link the bad gift but in the very tiny chance that the gift giver is on DCUM, I won’t.

My oldest child is now 14. I have thrown a birthday party every year for every kid. We have received lots of gifts both good and bad over the past decade.

This sewing gift was the single worst gift we have ever received. Plenty of toys that have never been opened or played with. No gift, fine. Just a card, great.

So what? Definitely not worth the angst and anger you have felt over it.

It is over. I was annoyed on Friday. It was somewhat comical because it was all over our kitchen island all weekend. If it was just me, I would have thrown the thing out but I have a very patient husband who spent Sunday afternoon sewing this toy for our daughter. DH won lots of brownie points from me and our daughter this weekend.

[Anonymous]

It’s great you got a good result, and your DH and DD spent time together. Sucks this was a bad gift for your family. But as I think this thread has shown, “bad gift” is unfortunately not universal. Some parents like doing craft projects for their kids (I make doll clothes on demand; I expect my 5yo would have loved making me do this gift and I’d have had a good time too), while other like you prefer things that facilitate independent play. I hate getting anything super messy because we have wall to wall carpeting and no outdoor space, but I bet you’d love some of those toys. Some “normal toys” don’t work for me because of my kids interests, my preferences, my living situation, etc etc etc. That doesn’t mean they’re universally bad presents. I think if you’d phrased it as “I hate these types of presents” rather than “never give these presents ever” you’d be getting a lot more sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple fix: “no gifts please.”

+100 (and a few people forget or refuse and you wind up with 3 gifts, rather than 20…which is a perfect number of gifts)

[Anonymous]

These kits and activity gifts have more to do with the KID than the parent. For all the parents on this thread who are congratulating themselves for being “hands on” and “involved”, good for you. I am glad you won the lottery by having a kid who enjoys the same type of paint by number, build a robot, Lego, soap making and model building projects you do.

I have one kid who has never met at Kiwi Crate or Mark Roper box he doesn’t love. He was building age 12+ Lego sets when he was 5. He can easily follow instructions and has the spacial reasoning skills to interpret even the weirdest most poorly written manuals. For him these kit gifts foster independence because he enjoys the process of making them and wants to do it independently.

My other kid doesn’t want to make the craft, he just wants the finished product. He doesn’t want to make a Lego car, he wants to play with it. He is also very social and doesn’t want to make a kit independently - he wants to share the experience with someone else and work as a team. He doesn’t enjoy the process beyond the social experience of working together. He would much rather go for a hike with me than build a robot or make a craft. That’s not bad. It’s just different.

I don’t think anything is wrong with kids who don’t like doing projects and kits - or parents who don’t enjoy doing them with their kids. If you have a kit loving kid -parent duo like my oldest child and myself it may be hard to recognize that other families don’t feel the same way about your “great” gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid whining and crying for us to sew with her, do this science experiment and do a rainbow loom with a million tiny rubber bands. Ugh.

Your kid is excited about something and wants to share it with you. And you're annoyed. Wow.

DP

Actually, I'm trying to foster autonomy and these kits encourage DEPENDENCE, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. We do plenty together which usually involves being outside having shared experiences. I agree with OP - too much parental dependence, too much mess, too any tiny intricate parts that break easily or never work. Just give her a football, jump rope, Lego, doll, books, something she can do on her own, or nothing.

Do the "shared outdoor experiences" you value involve training your kid in sports?

OP here. I love outdoor experiences and sporting gear.

The sewing gift ended up being a big hit at the end. My husband sewed this thing for over an hour. Every part that my 6 year old sewed, he had to basically redo. A toy that requires an adult to sew multiple different pieces together for over an hour is not something a 6 year old can do on her own.

Those seems like really unusual gifts that it's difficult to get right unless you know the kid really well and know what they already have or dont.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid recently had a birthday party and half the gifts require parent to participate for the entire activity.

Why can’t people just gift a regular toy???

Lazy and uninvolved parenting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid whining and crying for us to sew with her, do this science experiment and do a rainbow loom with a million tiny rubber bands. Ugh.

Your kid is excited about something and wants to share it with you. And you're annoyed. Wow.

DP

Actually, I'm trying to foster autonomy and these kits encourage DEPENDENCE, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. We do plenty together which usually involves being outside having shared experiences. I agree with OP - too much parental dependence, too much mess, too any tiny intricate parts that break easily or never work. Just give her a football, jump rope, Lego, doll, books, something she can do on her own, or nothing.

Do the "shared outdoor experiences" you value involve training your kid in sports?

OP here. I love outdoor experiences and sporting gear.

The sewing gift ended up being a big hit at the end. My husband sewed this thing for over an hour. Every part that my 6 year old sewed, he had to basically redo. A toy that requires an adult to sew multiple different pieces together for over an hour is not something a 6 year old can do on her own.

It’s not a bad gift because it does not interest you. I would hate outdoor experiences and that is not a gift. I’d love a sewing kit.