PSA Don’t give gifts that require parent to do most of activity
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Anonymous
This is very age- and kid-dependent. My 6 year old girl can do rainbow loom and melted beads by herself. She spent two hours doing the former last night, in fact, totally on her own except for cleaning up. But she learned at camp. If I had to read the directions and teach her, I would hate it. The ones I hate are anything involving paint (messy no matter how neat the child), anything involving major dust (fossil digging kits), and anything with a science kit. My 9 year old boy loves those and he can do them on his own, but they tend to involve multiple intricate steps, sometimes over many days, and we have nowhere to keep them while they mature or whatever. Nowhere that is out of reach of the cats, at least! |
Anonymous
Your kid is excited about something and wants to share it with you. And you're annoyed. Wow. |
Anonymous
Why can't you say "no gifts" if this overwhelms you so much? |
Anonymous
| Maybe its a hint to spend more time with your kid OP. |
Anonymous
| OP, your feelings about these gifts, as you can see, isn’t universal. Some of us really enjoy receiving these types of gifts and doing them with our kids. If you don’t like them, do a no gifts party or exchange, but suggesting to DCUM that we shouldn’t give these gifts is projecting your own personal opinion about something people don’t agree about, at all. |
Anonymous
Like what? Give examples. |
Anonymous
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I might be guilty of these gifts. My kids are good at doing them on their own. Last year I hosted a 10th BD party where the kids make a Kiwi crate robot for age 8+ and I was surprised that more than half of the kids couldn’t do it without significant help. We even had our kids build the same kit in advance as a “test” to see what steps might be confusing.
Only then did I realize other kids do not enjoy these kits or make them alone. |
Anonymous
This is what we do. I prefer the craft gifts to one-time use loud toys anyway. We are all different OP. |
Anonymous
OP here. We ended up doing a science kit last night. We also opened and started the sewing project. I remembered that we used to have higher quality age appropriate threading projects when my older kids were younger. This kit was complete crap and I do think it was the lack of quality that made it frustrating for us all. I am hiding this rainbow loom and hope she doesn’t look for it for over two years when she can do this on her own. I am not interested in doing this at all!! DH and I wanted to do a no gifts party. My kids do love receiving and opening gifts. My oldest has very advanced building skills and rarely required any help from us. He is very good at reading and following instructions. He was always good at legos from preschool. And we do spend a lot of time with our kids. DH did the magic mixie with her. That also seemed to require help. I took a video of Dh doing the magic mixie with her and it was super cute. We did other crafts and candy and bracelet making. These last gifts were just harder and not something I wanted to do after a long week. |
Anonymous
| I have only given one of those science kits for a birthday once and it was only because the parents suggested it in a short list of things their kid would enjoy. Even then, I made sure to get one that had everything you need in it. My daughter got a science volcano kit for her birthday last year and we still haven't done it, because I don't have the patience to find 15 things that don't come with the kit, including coffee filters (we don't drink coffee), plus the time it takes to do the activity. |
Anonymous
I have one daughter who loves the Kiwi crates and insists on doing them herself. She's always been very independent and engineering-minded. And another daughter who probably could do them on her own, but is the kind of clingy kid who wants to do everything with mommy's help, which is sometimes very sweet and sometimes very frustrating. |
Anonymous
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I agree with you OP.
My mom always does this. She lives in another country and this year sent my 11yo DD an animal Pom Pom making kit that made 2 Christmas tree ornaments. We had to wind the yarn around the cardboard forever…. It was mind numbing. I knew DD would never do both so I did one and sent my mom the photo. |
Anonymous
DP Actually, I'm trying to foster autonomy and these kits encourage DEPENDENCE, which is exactly the opposite of what I want. We do plenty together which usually involves being outside having shared experiences. I agree with OP - too much parental dependence, too much mess, too any tiny intricate parts that break easily or never work. Just give her a football, jump rope, Lego, doll, books, something she can do on her own, or nothing. |
Anonymous
Actually generations of kids were raised this way and it led to the most innovative country in the world. Our UMC kids are becoming the Chinese kids born under the single child policy - spoiled kids who are never able to be innovative because they've never been bored - parents schedule all their time then fill and "free" time with education activities, like these stupid kits - but the kids are taking advanced everything and can take a standardized test like a robot. It's nuts, boredom IS what leads to innovation. If the kid can't do the kit on their own - that's the problem. |
Anonymous
Yes, so true. I taught my daughter to sew on my Singer. I don't want a little subpar kit with subpar pieces. The irony is that it's easier to teach her on the scraps of material left over from my projects. We've made doll clothes and bed linens for her doll house. Her first projects was pandemic masks made with her team's logo. I also do these things and have a PhD in physics, so there's that. I'd much rather work with the real deal. |