To Police Report or Not to Police Report?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the thing that made PPs suggest filing a police report is that it went beyond words and child was assaulted.
Schools (participate FCPS) do too little to response to address/correct physical violence in the classroom. And having a police report on file will not only encourage the school admins to act, but it may also trigger an investigation of CPS if they feel that it is warranted.

It’s not okay for a child to be permitted to hit, kick, or choke another child, whether inside or outside of school. And that behavior comes from somewhere. Police report will allow someone to follow up on what the underlying home issue is.

+1

FCPS is not looking out for the victim, they are looking out for themselves. Do what you have to do, as a parent, to protect your child. If that means lawyering up, depending on the situation, so be it.

This is inaccurate. The school district is looking out for all kids, which includes the victim and includes other kids. People may not approve of what they are doing now but saying they they aren't looking out for your DC is wrong.

Uh no FCPS is not looking out for our kids. We had a serial offender last year in 4th grade who spat on other kids, hit them with her metal water bottle, shoved them etc etc. after each incident (most of which the teacher did not inform parents about) the student was sent to sit with principal. She thought this was a treat. She was a menace the whole year and our school did nothing. Your school and FCPS want to minimize fallout from issues. They’ve stopped telling parents when their kid gets assaulted cause it happens so much now. They know they can’t do anything to these kids that rage and disrupt or anything for the kids that have their learning interrupting and are getting hurt. All they can do is put their head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong.

That sounds like a terrible situation for everyone, your DC and the teacher and that student. But unless she told you that getting sent to the office was a treat, you're just making things up. And if she did tell you, you should be smart enough and understanding enough to know she didn't mean it.

Your preferred solution might be to write that girl off in 4th grade. But with more maturity (and maybe she might benefit from more discipline), she may outgrow all of those behaviors. Will she be able to reenter school or will she be hopelessly academically behind at that point? If she is written off in 4th grade, what will become of her when she is an adult? That will be your DC's problem then, not yours anymore.

As a person who was bullied in schol, your response doesn't speak to the years, or even lifelong impact, a bully- especially a physically aggressive one- can have on others. Why should one child be able to have a lifelong negative impact on so many other kids? You have more sympathy for one kid and insufficient sympathy for the multiple kids impacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the thing that made PPs suggest filing a police report is that it went beyond words and child was assaulted.
Schools (participate FCPS) do too little to response to address/correct physical violence in the classroom. And having a police report on file will not only encourage the school admins to act, but it may also trigger an investigation of CPS if they feel that it is warranted.

It’s not okay for a child to be permitted to hit, kick, or choke another child, whether inside or outside of school. And that behavior comes from somewhere. Police report will allow someone to follow up on what the underlying home issue is.

+1

FCPS is not looking out for the victim, they are looking out for themselves. Do what you have to do, as a parent, to protect your child. If that means lawyering up, depending on the situation, so be it.

This is inaccurate. The school district is looking out for all kids, which includes the victim and includes other kids. People may not approve of what they are doing now but saying they they aren't looking out for your DC is wrong.

Uh no FCPS is not looking out for our kids. We had a serial offender last year in 4th grade who spat on other kids, hit them with her metal water bottle, shoved them etc etc. after each incident (most of which the teacher did not inform parents about) the student was sent to sit with principal. She thought this was a treat. She was a menace the whole year and our school did nothing. Your school and FCPS want to minimize fallout from issues. They’ve stopped telling parents when their kid gets assaulted cause it happens so much now. They know they can’t do anything to these kids that rage and disrupt or anything for the kids that have their learning interrupting and are getting hurt. All they can do is put their head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong.

That sounds like a terrible situation for everyone, your DC and the teacher and that student. But unless she told you that getting sent to the office was a treat, you're just making things up. And if she did tell you, you should be smart enough and understanding enough to know she didn't mean it.

Your preferred solution might be to write that girl off in 4th grade. But with more maturity (and maybe she might benefit from more discipline), she may outgrow all of those behaviors. Will she be able to reenter school or will she be hopelessly academically behind at that point? If she is written off in 4th grade, what will become of her when she is an adult? That will be your DC's problem then, not yours anymore.

As a person who was bullied in schol, your response doesn't speak to the years, or even lifelong impact, a bully- especially a physically aggressive one- can have on others. Why should one child be able to have a lifelong negative impact on so many other kids? You have more sympathy for one kid and insufficient sympathy for the multiple kids impacted.

My kid was bullied and yes, it really harmed him. I don't know what was going on with his bully or if nothing was.

There are increasing numbers or children with disabilities that can look like rage or dysregulation. No one knows why. Or what to do about it. We have chosen to not hide those kids away. And to hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The posters who suggest calling the police because of a 2nd grader misbehaving are insane, OP. Not sure why you're paying any attention to them.

Ten years ago I would have agreed. Maybe even five years ago. But schools are not addressing even the worst behavioral problems -- restorative justice is a joke or worse, so calling the police may be the only way to make sure the problem is addressed when physical assaults occur.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think parents are tired of the out of control behavior in some classrooms. It is a small percentage of children but it is highly disruptive to the classrooms when it happens. Schools do not seem to be doing anything about the behavior issues. My Teacher friends of kids in K-12 report being bitten, hit, kicked, spat at, sworn at and the like. The kid goes tot the Principals office and comes back 10 minutes later.

It feels like someone needs to do something to elevate that crazy behavior so that kids receive the help that they need and the other kids in the classroom have a clam learning environment. If the Teachers can’t do anything because administration has refused to do anything. If administration won’t do anything because Gatehouse has tied their hands. If Gatehouse won’t do anything because they are afraid of being sued or the programs that are needed are too expensive. Where do you go?

The instinct is to file a police report when a child chokes another child or threatens another child and you know the school is not going to do anything because maybe that will force someone to do something.

But you are right, a 7 year old is not going to be charged and it is a lot of paperwork and it is disruptive in a different manner.

Maybe if schools would get back to discipling kids for poor behavior. Maybe if it didn’t take 18 months of documenting 90 different strategies failing and taking away even more Teacher time to document and attend meetings. Maybe if parents didn’t sue because their kid isn’t that bad and they don’t want the kid to be in a smaller class for kids with behavior issues. The pendulum has swung far to far to the side of no punishment, inclusive classroom and people are frustrated.

Agree with you on a lot....but now let's talk about society and an overall lack of parenting....AND no one is saying let's go back to hitting kids(I can't stand that so many people think this is ok) but let's start telling kids no, setting boundaries, teaching them how to wait and be patient....teaching them that we respect our teachers when they are teaching. Teachers have a lot of kids in classroom and the needs are high. Parents jump in and do your job-these are YOUR kids!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the thing that made PPs suggest filing a police report is that it went beyond words and child was assaulted.
Schools (participate FCPS) do too little to response to address/correct physical violence in the classroom. And having a police report on file will not only encourage the school admins to act, but it may also trigger an investigation of CPS if they feel that it is warranted.

It’s not okay for a child to be permitted to hit, kick, or choke another child, whether inside or outside of school. And that behavior comes from somewhere. Police report will allow someone to follow up on what the underlying home issue is.

+1

FCPS is not looking out for the victim, they are looking out for themselves. Do what you have to do, as a parent, to protect your child. If that means lawyering up, depending on the situation, so be it.

This is inaccurate. The school district is looking out for all kids, which includes the victim and includes other kids. People may not approve of what they are doing now but saying they they aren't looking out for your DC is wrong.

Uh no FCPS is not looking out for our kids. We had a serial offender last year in 4th grade who spat on other kids, hit them with her metal water bottle, shoved them etc etc. after each incident (most of which the teacher did not inform parents about) the student was sent to sit with principal. She thought this was a treat. She was a menace the whole year and our school did nothing. Your school and FCPS want to minimize fallout from issues. They’ve stopped telling parents when their kid gets assaulted cause it happens so much now. They know they can’t do anything to these kids that rage and disrupt or anything for the kids that have their learning interrupting and are getting hurt. All they can do is put their head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong.

That sounds like a terrible situation for everyone, your DC and the teacher and that student. But unless she told you that getting sent to the office was a treat, you're just making things up. And if she did tell you, you should be smart enough and understanding enough to know she didn't mean it.

Your preferred solution might be to write that girl off in 4th grade. But with more maturity (and maybe she might benefit from more discipline), she may outgrow all of those behaviors. Will she be able to reenter school or will she be hopelessly academically behind at that point? If she is written off in 4th grade, what will become of her when she is an adult? That will be your DC's problem then, not yours anymore.

As a person who was bullied in schol, your response doesn't speak to the years, or even lifelong impact, a bully- especially a physically aggressive one- can have on others. Why should one child be able to have a lifelong negative impact on so many other kids? You have more sympathy for one kid and insufficient sympathy for the multiple kids impacted.

My kid was bullied and yes, it really harmed him. I don't know what was going on with his bully or if nothing was.

There are increasing numbers or children with disabilities that can look like rage or dysregulation. No one knows why. Or what to do about it. We have chosen to not hide those kids away. And to hope for the best.

I feel like there’s a middle ground between hiding those kids away, and sacrificing the well-being of everyone else (teacher and other kids) on the altar of inclusiveness.

And honestly it really is getting so bad, that in discussions amongst teachers the trend is turning to “if a student assaults you, file a police report because admin isn’t going to do anything”. And that’s teachers advising other teachers.

Like, yes, children and adults are different and generally should be treated differently.. even moreso when there’s some sort of SN issues involved… but also childhood is a time of learning proper behavior— what good is it doing if kids don’t face consequences for behaviors that out in society would not be acceptable. If Larlo graduates and then assaults someone at 18 having ADHD and some sort of rage disorder isn’t going to keep him from going to jail.

The way to hell is paved with good intentions, and I think a lot of advocates who push for the kind of no-consequences and endless-grace for unacceptable behavior that is a “manifestation of a child’s disability” aren’t doing anyone any favors. The traumatized classmates or the kid who’s receiving no consequences.