Withholding sex

[Anonymous]

I haven’t withheld sex, but I have offered things I know he likes that I don’t necessarily love in order to get my way on something. It is definitely openly transactional.

But after umpteen years together, I find that kind of a turn on. Like, he’s willing to pay $20k for private school tuition for sex with middle aged self? That makes me feel kind of hot and desirable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pretry sure my wife withholds sex with me. I get all kinds of excuses when it comes to having sex.

It’s not withholding unless she’s using it to gain leverage. If she’s just not interested, then she’s just valuing her interest in sex over yours, maybe with some justification.

She never gained any leverage

Not wanting to have sex isn't "with holding" then. Just because someone doesnt want to have sex with you doesnt make it abusive or manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Ex withheld sex. We divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex withheld sex. We divorced.

What did she withhold from? Like what was her reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't listen to my husband over the years and he blew up our family of 5 with an affair with a neighbor. He's not justified. But I'm disappointed that I didn't take his feelings more seriously when I expected him to take my feelings seriously.

No, YOU blew up the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not always withholding. Once DH was caling me obscene names, insulting my family, religion, beliefs, values, choices, needs, wants I lost all desire to sleep with him ever again. You don’t call me a c*nt repeatedly and then think I’m going to bed with you…ever.

And you promptly divorced him so why are you posting such an irrelevant story to this thread about married people withholding sex?

[Anonymous]

Husband here my wife does punish with sex.

[Anonymous]

My wife has certainly said “not tonight” but she’s never withheld sex in order to get something. She’s smart enough to know that that would be crossing a line with me. In the same vein I’ve never withheld something from her in order to have sex for two reasons. One, I’d pay in the long run and two the sex would be lousy.

[Anonymous]

DH verbally abuses me on a regular basis and then complains I’m never in the mood anymore. I wonder why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH verbally abuses me on a regular basis and then complains I’m never in the mood anymore. I wonder why?

He shouldnt be having sex.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never withheld to get my way. But I’ve definitely initiated or given it when I want something.

[Anonymous]

Withholding sex (multiple times) is the beginning of the end for the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have had discussions with my wife and she has admitted she withholds. One instance was me throwing a tantrum she started her period early. I went 2 weeks no sex over that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had discussions with my wife and she has admitted she withholds. One instance was me throwing a tantrum she started her period early. I went 2 weeks no sex over that.

She should have left you over that. You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had discussions with my wife and she has admitted she withholds. One instance was me throwing a tantrum she started her period early. I went 2 weeks no sex over that.

She should have left you over that. You are ridiculous.

She didnt leave i apoligzed and went on my punishment.