Sorority Rush

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.

Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.

My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.

Your daughter is not first gen. You were.

This post smells weird.

I am the OP. I never said my daughter was first gen. I was asking how do first gen students get rec letters at schools where these are mandatory? My daughter attends a school where rec letters are not required.

You contact the sorority's local chapter where you live and ask if they'd be willing to connect you with someone who can write a letter. Many are willing to do it but may want to meet for coffee or something. Also, ask around. I've done recs for friends of friends that I didn't even know.

Which really just shows how useless they are.

Agreed, which is why I did them tbh. I don't think 18 year olds should have to go through the stress of finding them and be shut out of a house if they don't. So, anybody and everybody can have a rec from me!

I'm the PP, and my comment sounded snarkier than I intended it to be. Good for you for providing them for people who might struggle to find one otherwise. (that's a genuine comment)

[Anonymous]

There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

[Anonymous]

Incentives meaning higher visibility in the house, leadership positions, not financial or gifts, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

Who are they trying to attract? Male attention? This is why I am so not ok with my kid rushing. It goes against my beliefs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

Who are they trying to attract? Male attention? This is why I am so not ok with my kid rushing. It goes against my beliefs!

Well, I’m glad that you’re going to punish your kids for your beliefs. You know it’s not all about you, Martha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

Who are they trying to attract? Male attention? This is why I am so not ok with my kid rushing. It goes against my beliefs!

Well, I’m glad that you’re going to punish your kids for your beliefs. You know it’s not all about you, Martha.

This. Everybody wants to be around attractive people, except people who are insecure.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying pretty people should have more value? For what it’s worth, my daughter is rushing, but I don’t agree with the superficial part of the process. What would happen to the pretty girl that had a bad burn accident? Will they hide her from the frat boys, since “everybody wants to be around attractive people”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying pretty people should have more value? For what it’s worth, my daughter is rushing, but I don’t agree with the superficial part of the process. What would happen to the pretty girl that had a bad burn accident? Will they hide her from the frat boys, since “everybody wants to be around attractive people”?

No Martha, that’s what you’re saying. We get it you don’t like attractive people, but scientific study after scientific study has said that people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

Who are they trying to attract? Male attention? This is why I am so not ok with my kid rushing. It goes against my beliefs!

it goes against your belief to attract male attention? So you're not married to a man, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying pretty people should have more value? For what it’s worth, my daughter is rushing, but I don’t agree with the superficial part of the process. What would happen to the pretty girl that had a bad burn accident? Will they hide her from the frat boys, since “everybody wants to be around attractive people”?

No Martha, that’s what you’re saying. We get it you don’t like attractive people, but scientific study after scientific study has said that people do.

This must be quite the burn where you're from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are “top girl” boards. Incentives for bringing in sought after girls. Although connections matter, if a girl is sought after, but not connected, she will do just fine. Sought after means: great grades, great involvement, nice, good character, attractive.

Entirely false at SEC schools. It’s all about connections. Otherwise every girl with a full merit ride would be “sought after” which is not the case at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you pretty much had to have an "in" with girl(s) already in the house in order to have a real chance at joining a "top" sorority and that those sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even begins.

100% true at SEC schools.

The only girls who got “top” houses knew girls in the house well except for one whose mother called in favors to someone somehow and got her daughter who barely graduated high school in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought you pretty much had to have an "in" with girl(s) already in the house in order to have a real chance at joining a "top" sorority and that those sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even begins.

100% true at SEC schools.

The only girls who got “top” houses knew girls in the house well except for one whose mother called in favors to someone somehow and got her daughter who barely graduated high school in.

This is not true at our big SEC school. We took plenty of unhooked girls as long as they met the criteria we were looking for.

[Anonymous]

“Martha” here. From what I gather, sororities are a transparent about seeking new members with high academics, community involvement, leadership and comminication skills. All great traits. Correct me if I’m wrong, but do they put in writing that they want to recruit girls with a certain look? I haven’t seen that. Why don’t they then, if that is just how our society works? Why not be open about it? You know, sort of like how flight attendants ads were fourty years ago.

And yes, back in the day I would wear make-up and get “dolled-up” to go out to meet guys, that was sort of the point of going out. Joining a club in college, in my view, should not be about looks.

[Anonymous]

I think not having a mom or older sister or best friend that has been thru it makes it a little harder just because you don't have someone close to you that can advice you. I also thinks shyness hurts you.