Sorority Rush

[Anonymous]

I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.

Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.

My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.

[Anonymous]

I was a first gen kid and chose a college w/o a Greek system as I couldn't imagine how I would pull that off. Neither of our DCs had an interest, but many of their friends joined. One of the moms is always reminding me that her DD belongs to one of the top 3 at her school. Sounds like a ton of money with all their parties, events.

[Anonymous]

The rec letters are BS anyway. Complete waste of time for the alums. They do not matter. Girls get houses because they know current girls in houses. They do not care what 50 year old alums think.

As long as she’s happy with whatever she gets, she’ll be fine. If she under any peer pressure to get only certain houses, it will be an emotional nightmare.

[Anonymous]

So much depends on the school and sorority. Some stopped requiring letters specifically because it was harder for minorities and first Gen students to get them. The whole point of many sororities is to be exclusive though. I think they some are trying to stop the discrimination but it’s harder for minorities to break in if they don’t have commonality with older members. Also the pledges are often somewhat religious and that can affect membership too.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I hope it all turns out well for my kid. She is glad many of the sororities at her school are somewhat diverse, being that she is also a minority. She is ambitious and hopes the connections and experience she gains will help her in her professional life. Only time will tell! We are also going to make her pay for her dues. She has to have some skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a first gen student. I had zero interest in joining a sorority. Nobody in my social group growing up had any experience with them, so it was not on my radar.

Moving forward, my daughter is rushing this week. We are supporting her, a little reluctantly though. All the girls she has met her first semester are also rushing. Her school does not ask for recommendation letters from previous members, thank God, because we really don’t have those connections.

My question is, how disadvantaged is a first gen student who is rushing at one of the schools where they still ask for rec letters? Is that system in place to continue keeping the “poors” out of the greek system? Also, don’t get me started on how expensive some of those soroties cost. Just another reason why they are so out of reach for most first gen students.

Depends on the school. There's another thread about SMU rush right now that caught my eye because I grew up walking distance from SMU's campus (but did not go to school there); the system there is not so much about "keeping the 'poors' out" so much as keeping the people of a certain class and culture in -- which effectively keeps everyone else out. My DH who is from here (FFX) saw a picture of my niece with her sorority friends posing in identical outfits and they all had cowboy boots on and he asked me if wearing cowboy boots is a real thing in Texas. I laughed, and told him it is, but that isn't why they all have those boots -- I'd bet a lot of money that all of those girls have those boots because they ride in them, and have been riding at one of Texas's sorority feeder summer camps for years (sorority-feeder camps are a thing in TX). So it's not just "We're Texas girls, we wear expensive cowboy boots." It's "We're Texas girls who have been to the right summer camps where we wore these boots as we learned to ride and care for horses because it's a thing here that people of our class do." It's not just about money, it's about shared lived experiences (that most people cannot afford, and that some people who can afford are clueless about).

Some schools are not like this, and have at least some houses that embrace diversity and first gen students.

[Anonymous]

My sorority finds recommendation letters for any rushee who does not have one. So, no, someone is not disadvantaged (at least in my group) for not knowing someone to write a letter.

[Anonymous]

PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.

Which sorority has gotten rid of legacy preference?

[Anonymous]

as long as she's at a "normal" school, ie not SEC, recommendations will not matter, neither will legacy status. My DD got cut from my sorority after the round robin even with more than just my recommendation. Her roommate got dropped by her mother's house (as in same sorority, same school). Just doesn't matter at most schools.

My DD is in a very reasonably priced house at a normal college, which has a competitive Greek system but nothing like Alabama, Ole Miss etc. It's not a place where the girls are wearing $1K shoes and dropping in designer jewelry and clothes. Those girls go to other sororities.

There will be a place for your DD as long as she is open minded and not hung up on the most popular houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sorority finds recommendation letters for any rushee who does not have one. So, no, someone is not disadvantaged (at least in my group) for not knowing someone to write a letter.

How meaningful could such a letter be? What's the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as long as she's at a "normal" school, ie not SEC, recommendations will not matter, neither will legacy status. My DD got cut from my sorority after the round robin even with more than just my recommendation. Her roommate got dropped by her mother's house (as in same sorority, same school). Just doesn't matter at most schools.

My DD is in a very reasonably priced house at a normal college, which has a competitive Greek system but nothing like Alabama, Ole Miss etc. It's not a place where the girls are wearing $1K shoes and dropping in designer jewelry and clothes. Those girls go to other sororities.

There will be a place for your DD as long as she is open minded and not hung up on the most popular houses.

I was never in a sorority nor my friends, so I don’t understand why girls get cut or dropped. Is it because they need to keep membership numbers to a certain number?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. I just looked up the process and my group takes recommendations from non-members now. They have also gotten rid of legacy preference. I don't know how many other groups have done this but there have been a lot of changes recently in the greek system.

Which sorority has gotten rid of legacy preference?

My niece just rushed and she is a legacy for Pi Phi…pi phi doesn’t provide legacy preference anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as long as she's at a "normal" school, ie not SEC, recommendations will not matter, neither will legacy status. My DD got cut from my sorority after the round robin even with more than just my recommendation. Her roommate got dropped by her mother's house (as in same sorority, same school). Just doesn't matter at most schools.

My DD is in a very reasonably priced house at a normal college, which has a competitive Greek system but nothing like Alabama, Ole Miss etc. It's not a place where the girls are wearing $1K shoes and dropping in designer jewelry and clothes. Those girls go to other sororities.

There will be a place for your DD as long as she is open minded and not hung up on the most popular houses.

I was never in a sorority nor my friends, so I don’t understand why girls get cut or dropped. Is it because they need to keep membership numbers to a certain number?

of course this is true. Each house has a quota that is set by the inter sorority council based on the total number of PNMs and the number of houses. Then when the girls go to the first round and visit all the houses, they rank the order of their preference, and the house ranks their order of preference. If the girl is not high on a particular houses list, she will get dropped. The more popular the house, the more girls want to go back and continue to rush there, therefore the more limited spaces. There are usually houses where pretty much anyone can join because they are not as much in demand and the number of houses you can go to is reduced by each round of rush. So it starts wide open, then the houses have to cut the number to return to the next round. Houses get cut off girls lists, and girls get cut off houses lists. The more open minded the PNM, the more likelihood that they will end up somewhere. The OPs kid suicided, meaning she had two houses left at the final round, and was guaranteed a bid to one of the two. For whatever reason, she decided she did not want to accept a bid from one of the houses, so she only put down one on her preference list. That left open the risk that she would not get a bid at all, which is why the OP was nervous.

[Anonymous]

I know triple legacies that got cut second round. It means nothing anymore. At SEC schools, all about who you already know in the house. At many schools it probably doesn’t matter at all.