Tired of "Dog Moms"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand I know a woman who rehomed her cats for a man and I think a lot less of her as a result. She's had them for years. He was not allergic. He just didn't like them.

I would too.

I mean, I would think poorly of her as well.

I struggle with the idea of being so unattached to pets I'd been with for a long time to do that. I get finding the love of your life but I've been married for 10 years and had my cat for 15, and while I love my husband, it was my cat who laid next to me on the bathroom floor when I had HG through my entire pregnancy and would spend hours puking my guts out. And also when I got laid off and got kind of depressed about it, my DH was supportive but also sometimes stressed me out with questions about finding a new job and money, whereas my cat just cuddled next to me on the couch while I worked on my resume and made me feel like it was going to be okay no matter what.

Anyway, my DH actually likes my cat and gets along great with him and has never suggested we get rid of him. But if I was dating someone and they gave me an ultimatum about my pet, I would pretty much instantly view that as a massive red flag. Even if it was for an understandable reason, like an allergy, the ultimatum speaks to a very entitled, un-empathetic attitude. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being harsh. The dog lives with her. The dog is part of her family. Not a child (and I agree that wayyyyyy too many dog people are overly liberal with their dogs) but asking someone to get rid of their pet is excessive.

If she were bringing the dog everywhere, to stores, restaurants, other people's homes, I'd agree with you. But in HER home? I mean that's where pets are *supposed* to stay.

How does it affect you personally if anyone views their dog as their fur baby? It does not

Oh except it does. It means she will bring it on planes, into restaurants, into the grocery store, and then enact high drama if anyone suggests that Priscilla shouldn't be sniffing the meat cast. It's her BABY after all. These people (mostly women IME) have become such unmanageable brats that we all just let them get away with it.

People can have all the fur babies they want AT HOME. Dress them up, feed them steak from the good china, let them lick your mouth, I don't care. But keep them out of public places please. They are not children; they have no potential for a future in productive society. They will die at 10-13-15 years old and their bereft "mothers" will run out and buy a replacement.

For the record, the most unhinged, entitled "dog parent" I know is a man. He's my neighbor and he professes to love animals and then uses his dogs as an excuse for being a hostile, terrifying ahole. I feel bad for his dogs but I feel more bad for me who has to live right next to him.

I don't think the horrible dog parents issue is something unique to women. My best friend is a self-described "dog mom" and she and her dog are extremely kind and wonderful and she never takes her dog into the grocery store or restaurants (the occasional patio where they are allowed, but not inside), plus her dog is well-trained and well-behaved.

This is not a gendered problem. Crap dog owners are a universal scourge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attention to single women in their 30s:

Dogs are not children. Having a dog does not make you a mother. Being obsessed with your fur baby is not giving maternal instincts, it's giving arrested development. I am not interested in women who make their dog the center of their universe.

I (M, 40) was dating a woman (35) who said that she and her German Shepherd are a "package deal" when we were getting serious and thinking about moving in together. I said she had to choose between me and the dog, and she chose the dog. Now she's late 30s and childless but with a giant, smelly canine.

Women, rethink your priorities if this sounds like you.

LOL, she choose the dog over you and now you're butthurt and lecturing people! She's clearly happy with her decision! Sorry that didn't work out for you!

You might want to rethink your willingness to accept people who have dogs. That woman was very loyal to her dog. If you showed her a small amount of understanding and some tolerance for her dog, she would likely have been pretty loyal as a partner for you. You missed out, buddy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you're being harsh. The dog lives with her. The dog is part of her family. Not a child (and I agree that wayyyyyy too many dog people are overly liberal with their dogs) but asking someone to get rid of their pet is excessive.

If she were bringing the dog everywhere, to stores, restaurants, other people's homes, I'd agree with you. But in HER home? I mean that's where pets are *supposed* to stay.

How does it affect you personally if anyone views their dog as their fur baby? It does not

Oh except it does. It means she will bring it on planes, into restaurants, into the grocery store, and then enact high drama if anyone suggests that Priscilla shouldn't be sniffing the meat cast. It's her BABY after all. These people (mostly women IME) have become such unmanageable brats that we all just let them get away with it.

People can have all the fur babies they want AT HOME. Dress them up, feed them steak from the good china, let them lick your mouth, I don't care. But keep them out of public places please. They are not children; they have no potential for a future in productive society. They will die at 10-13-15 years old and their bereft "mothers" will run out and buy a replacement.

For the record, the most unhinged, entitled "dog parent" I know is a man. He's my neighbor and he professes to love animals and then uses his dogs as an excuse for being a hostile, terrifying ahole. I feel bad for his dogs but I feel more bad for me who has to live right next to him.

I don't think the horrible dog parents issue is something unique to women. My best friend is a self-described "dog mom" and she and her dog are extremely kind and wonderful and she never takes her dog into the grocery store or restaurants (the occasional patio where they are allowed, but not inside), plus her dog is well-trained and well-behaved.

This is not a gendered problem. Crap dog owners are a universal scourge.

We agree on that last point! And I'm not out to bash women or anything, it's just been my experience. When I get clotheslined by a dog on a retractible leash, it's a woman holding the other end and looking at her phone. In the stores, always women with purse dogs. I can only think of one dude (with a cropped pitbull of course) in my neighborhood who takes his dog where it doesn't belong. Whereas I see women doing it every single day. So many I can't even ID them all.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the OP about dogs. However, I feel the exact same way about (in my case woman) who post and/or own a mug that says "Don't talk to me before coffee" or some variation of that sentiment.

I say this as a man who drinks too much of the stuff myself...it isn't the lack of coffee that makes you unpleasant in the morning. You aren't clever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attention to single women in their 30s:

Dogs are not children. Having a dog does not make you a mother. Being obsessed with your fur baby is not giving maternal instincts, it's giving arrested development. I am not interested in women who make their dog the center of their universe.

I (M, 40) was dating a woman (35) who said that she and her German Shepherd are a "package deal" when we were getting serious and thinking about moving in together. I said she had to choose between me and the dog, and she chose the dog. Now she's late 30s and childless but with a giant, smelly canine.

Women, rethink your priorities if this sounds like you.

I am a divorced single guy with a dog and he’s awesome.

I agree the dog mom thing is stupid. When I see that I immediately swipe left

But if I met someone and they wanted me to get rid of my dog…she can kick rocks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the other hand I know a woman who rehomed her cats for a man and I think a lot less of her as a result. She's had them for years. He was not allergic. He just didn't like them.

I would too.

I mean, I would think poorly of her as well.

I struggle with the idea of being so unattached to pets I'd been with for a long time to do that. I get finding the love of your life but I've been married for 10 years and had my cat for 15, and while I love my husband, it was my cat who laid next to me on the bathroom floor when I had HG through my entire pregnancy and would spend hours puking my guts out. And also when I got laid off and got kind of depressed about it, my DH was supportive but also sometimes stressed me out with questions about finding a new job and money, whereas my cat just cuddled next to me on the couch while I worked on my resume and made me feel like it was going to be okay no matter what.

Anyway, my DH actually likes my cat and gets along great with him and has never suggested we get rid of him. But if I was dating someone and they gave me an ultimatum about my pet, I would pretty much instantly view that as a massive red flag. Even if it was for an understandable reason, like an allergy, the ultimatum speaks to a very entitled, un-empathetic attitude. No thank you.

Your cat sounds awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem like a real catch, I wonder why you’re on the market at 40.

I was anti-dog mom but then read this guy's bs.

I was hiring and found a candidate who was a dog mom and I was surprised at how much dog mom stuff was in her linked in. It's almost like saying "i'm not burdened with children so choose me over the moms". She didn't get the job. She also brags about her online doctorate so there's that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attention to single women in their 30s:

Dogs are not children. Having a dog does not make you a mother. Being obsessed with your fur baby is not giving maternal instincts, it's giving arrested development. I am not interested in women who make their dog the center of their universe.

I (M, 40) was dating a woman (35) who said that she and her German Shepherd are a "package deal" when we were getting serious and thinking about moving in together. I said she had to choose between me and the dog, and she chose the dog. Now she's late 30s and childless but with a giant, smelly canine.

Women, rethink your priorities if this sounds like you.

You don’t sound like a straight man at all. It’s giving troll from Lipstick Alley. Rethink your own priorities.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I love my dog so much. He was at the sitter for a week over the Christmas holiday. I couldn't wait to get him back. He's 12 pounds of pure sugar. He's so sweet. He's hypoallergenic. He doesn't shed, but he does require regular grooming.

He'll be 14. And I haven't noticed too many changes in him as he ages. I plan to be there until the very end for him.

[Anonymous]

Technically I'm not single I'm in a relationship, but I'm a woman in my 30s so I'll bite. I have a cat.

Not rehoming your pet is pretty much the bare minimum and isn't really "giving arrested development" so much as it's just caring about a living being you committed to taking care of. I would not give my cat up for a man; much like your ex, kitty and me are a package deal. Thankfully I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves animals. He also hates the term fur baby (although I don't call my cat that) but would never make someone give up a pet for no good reason.

Might I suggest if you don't like a certain animal, or pets at all, you should be up front about that early on? For example, I am scared of big dogs, so I would not date a guy with a pitbull.

Idk you just kind of sound like an ahole and that's probably why you're still single at 40. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attention to single women in their 30s:

Dogs are not children. Having a dog does not make you a mother. Being obsessed with your fur baby is not giving maternal instincts, it's giving arrested development. I am not interested in women who make their dog the center of their universe.

I (M, 40) was dating a woman (35) who said that she and her German Shepherd are a "package deal" when we were getting serious and thinking about moving in together. I said she had to choose between me and the dog, and she chose the dog. Now she's late 30s and childless but with a giant, smelly canine.

Women, rethink your priorities if this sounds like you.

Stay mad, bro. I'll choose my pets over some prima donna man who thinks the world revolves around him, every day.
In fact, I did so.

Now happily married > 20 years with a DH who recognized that me/my pets were a package deal.

Sorry, you don't have more choices. But I can see why, from your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t like pets don’t date someone with pets. It’s that simple.

+2. I've ended it with 2 guys (years ago) who didn't like pets. One walked in, sneezed and looked at my cat and said something negative (I can't remember what). First and last date.

The other was a guy I had been dating for over a year, was serious with, and was thinking of relocating with him. We were talking one night and he mentioned something about wanting a dog but only one dog. No rescues. No involvement with rescue. Very particular about the dog, the parameters. Didn't want cats (which I had).

For me, that was the beginning of the end. I -literally- see that as a proxy for different priorities. And he really dug in when I raised other options/compromises. Which was going to be a constant argument. We split up a few months later. Much happier with my current DH and brood of kids and animals than I would have been with him.

[Anonymous]

If someone is going to be so blanket ridiculous to dismiss someone who could be a lovely, warm person b/c they use the word "fur-kid" or "fur-baby" . . . that person deserves to be single.

That kind of single-mindedness is very unattractive. And actually is repellent.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so OP went too far with this, but basically, I do get the basic concept that a lot of people go too far with their pets. I am talking about those who can't seem to leave their dogs alone for one hour or have to bring their dogs EVERYWHERE with them, or who seem to think all of us love their dogs (we DO NOT). Please, leave your dog home. No, I don't want your dog to come when I invite you over for dinner. Really, I don't. Leave it home. Thank you!