Visiting high reaches

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We went to a few ivies because the DDs school admissions officer thought she should and DD decided that she didn’t like the vibe, or the size, and didn’t apply to any Ivies. Asian kid, 1 year pre Supreme Court decision, so the deck was stacked again and she really didn’t stand a chance. Better for her that she didn’t set her heart on it. So visiting some Ivies WAS helpful, in a backwards way.

Your child doesn’t have the deck stacked against her. Going to Binghamton instead of Yale isn’t a hardship. There are kids who really have the deck stacked against them - born into generational poverty, a parent with substance abuse, a parent incarcerated, violent homes/communities, homeless, food insecure. Just stop already.

and yet those who got in the ivies are Nigerian doctor’s kids and Obama’s daughters instead of kids you mentioned. When are we gonna stop lying about “equity “?

Even if those kids don't get into Yale or Harvard, it is THOSE kids who have life stacked against them. Majority of kids on DCUM (ie parents posting on DCUM) are privileged and don't really know what it's like to experience a rough, challenging life and to have the deck of life stacked against them. the fact their parent is concerned about what college they attend shows they have the support to go far in life.

So what’s wrong for PP to claim the unfair disadvantage by ivies? Only one group of people can be disadvantaged?

Just because American college admissions isn’t like college admissions in your country of origin doesn’t make it “unfair”.

I’m an American.

You may be, but that is the psychology behind the argument.

What’s so special about American college admissions? Racist?

You can engage in wordplay all you want, but to say an Asian student applying to college is “disadvantaged” or has the “deck stacked against them” is absurd and lacking in insight and almost insensitive when compared to kids who really have the deck stacked against them. I would include in that group recent child migrants who have no idea how difficult life will be for them as undocumented people.

Wow, talk about racial stereotyping here. All Asians are rich and have tiger parents? All blacks are poor and come from generational poverty?

No, I live in NYC. I know who these parents are and I know their demographics. And no, I don't think all blacks are poor and come from generational poverty. My DH is POC and my FIL was an MD. But thank you for playing!

So if you live in NYC you are aware that Asians have the highest poverty rate out of all racial groups in NYC.

NYC is not a great example of a diverse community (in terms of race)

[Anonymous]

? Then what is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:? Then what is?

In NYC racial groups are very segregated, not all cities are like this. LA is less so for instance. Torrance, just south of LA is extremely highly diverse, and people are all mixed together race-wise. NOT so with NYC. That's just one example.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We went to a few ivies because the DDs school admissions officer thought she should and DD decided that she didn’t like the vibe, or the size, and didn’t apply to any Ivies. Asian kid, 1 year pre Supreme Court decision, so the deck was stacked again and she really didn’t stand a chance. Better for her that she didn’t set her heart on it. So visiting some Ivies WAS helpful, in a backwards way.

Your child doesn’t have the deck stacked against her. Going to Binghamton instead of Yale isn’t a hardship. There are kids who really have the deck stacked against them - born into generational poverty, a parent with substance abuse, a parent incarcerated, violent homes/communities, homeless, food insecure. Just stop already.

and yet those who got in the ivies are Nigerian doctor’s kids and Obama’s daughters instead of kids you mentioned. When are we gonna stop lying about “equity “?

Even if those kids don't get into Yale or Harvard, it is THOSE kids who have life stacked against them. Majority of kids on DCUM (ie parents posting on DCUM) are privileged and don't really know what it's like to experience a rough, challenging life and to have the deck of life stacked against them. the fact their parent is concerned about what college they attend shows they have the support to go far in life.

So what’s wrong for PP to claim the unfair disadvantage by ivies? Only one group of people can be disadvantaged?

Just because American college admissions isn’t like college admissions in your country of origin doesn’t make it “unfair”.

I’m an American.

You may be, but that is the psychology behind the argument.

What’s so special about American college admissions? Racist?

You can engage in wordplay all you want, but to say an Asian student applying to college is “disadvantaged” or has the “deck stacked against them” is absurd and lacking in insight and almost insensitive when compared to kids who really have the deck stacked against them. I would include in that group recent child migrants who have no idea how difficult life will be for them as undocumented people.

Wow, talk about racial stereotyping here. All Asians are rich and have tiger parents? All blacks are poor and come from generational poverty?

No, I live in NYC. I know who these parents are and I know their demographics. And no, I don't think all blacks are poor and come from generational poverty. My DH is POC and my FIL was an MD. But thank you for playing!

So if you live in NYC you are aware that Asians have the highest poverty rate out of all racial groups in NYC.

Not true.

Asian immigrants in NYC yes, and there are a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We went to a few ivies because the DDs school admissions officer thought she should and DD decided that she didn’t like the vibe, or the size, and didn’t apply to any Ivies. Asian kid, 1 year pre Supreme Court decision, so the deck was stacked again and she really didn’t stand a chance. Better for her that she didn’t set her heart on it. So visiting some Ivies WAS helpful, in a backwards way.

Your child doesn’t have the deck stacked against her. Going to Binghamton instead of Yale isn’t a hardship. There are kids who really have the deck stacked against them - born into generational poverty, a parent with substance abuse, a parent incarcerated, violent homes/communities, homeless, food insecure. Just stop already.

and yet those who got in the ivies are Nigerian doctor’s kids and Obama’s daughters instead of kids you mentioned. When are we gonna stop lying about “equity “?

Even if those kids don't get into Yale or Harvard, it is THOSE kids who have life stacked against them. Majority of kids on DCUM (ie parents posting on DCUM) are privileged and don't really know what it's like to experience a rough, challenging life and to have the deck of life stacked against them. the fact their parent is concerned about what college they attend shows they have the support to go far in life.

So what’s wrong for PP to claim the unfair disadvantage by ivies? Only one group of people can be disadvantaged?

Just because American college admissions isn’t like college admissions in your country of origin doesn’t make it “unfair”.

I’m an American.

You may be, but that is the psychology behind the argument.

What’s so special about American college admissions? Racist?

You can engage in wordplay all you want, but to say an Asian student applying to college is “disadvantaged” or has the “deck stacked against them” is absurd and lacking in insight and almost insensitive when compared to kids who really have the deck stacked against them. I would include in that group recent child migrants who have no idea how difficult life will be for them as undocumented people.

Wow, talk about racial stereotyping here. All Asians are rich and have tiger parents? All blacks are poor and come from generational poverty?

No, I live in NYC. I know who these parents are and I know their demographics. And no, I don't think all blacks are poor and come from generational poverty. My DH is POC and my FIL was an MD. But thank you for playing!

So if you live in NYC you are aware that Asians have the highest poverty rate out of all racial groups in NYC.

Not true.

Asian immigrants in NYC yes, and there are a lot of them.

Sure, but the data doesn't support PP's allegation of highest poverty rate. Can't just make up stuff to fit your narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to a few ivies because the DDs school admissions officer thought she should and DD decided that she didn’t like the vibe, or the size, and didn’t apply to any Ivies. Asian kid, 1 year pre Supreme Court decision, so the deck was stacked again and she really didn’t stand a chance. Better for her that she didn’t set her heart on it. So visiting some Ivies WAS helpful, in a backwards way.

Your child doesn’t have the deck stacked against her. Going to Binghamton instead of Yale isn’t a hardship. There are kids who really have the deck stacked against them - born into generational poverty, a parent with substance abuse, a parent incarcerated, violent homes/communities, homeless, food insecure. Just stop already.

and yet those who got in the ivies are Nigerian doctor’s kids and Obama’s daughters instead of kids you mentioned. When are we gonna stop lying about “equity “?

Even if those kids don't get into Yale or Harvard, it is THOSE kids who have life stacked against them. Majority of kids on DCUM (ie parents posting on DCUM) are privileged and don't really know what it's like to experience a rough, challenging life and to have the deck of life stacked against them. the fact their parent is concerned about what college they attend shows they have the support to go far in life.

So what’s wrong for PP to claim the unfair disadvantage by ivies? Only one group of people can be disadvantaged?

Just because American college admissions isn’t like college admissions in your country of origin doesn’t make it “unfair”.

I’m an American.

You may be, but that is the psychology behind the argument.

What’s so special about American college admissions? Racist?

You can engage in wordplay all you want, but to say an Asian student applying to college is “disadvantaged” or has the “deck stacked against them” is absurd and lacking in insight and almost insensitive when compared to kids who really have the deck stacked against them. I would include in that group recent child migrants who have no idea how difficult life will be for them as undocumented people.

Wow, talk about racial stereotyping here. All Asians are rich and have tiger parents? All blacks are poor and come from generational poverty?

No, I live in NYC. I know who these parents are and I know their demographics. And no, I don't think all blacks are poor and come from generational poverty. My DH is POC and my FIL was an MD. But thank you for playing!

So if you live in NYC you are aware that Asians have the highest poverty rate out of all racial groups in NYC.

Not true.

Asian immigrants in NYC yes, and there are a lot of them.

Sure, but the data doesn't support PP's allegation of highest poverty rate. Can't just make up stuff to fit your narrative.

It's true for Chinatown. Is Chinatown NYC poor?
In the Lower East Side and Chinatown, 18% of residents live in poverty, compared with 20% of NYC residents.

Lower East Side and Chinatown - NYC.gov

[Anonymous]

A few years back, Jay Mathews, the WaPo education writer, suggested NOT to visit schools first due to the cost but to apply and then visit (obviously, this does not hold for schools that count interest). Our DD and best friend were looking at similar schools and engineering programs. We did what WaPo suggested. We toured Virginia Tech, UVA, W&L, GMU and other local schools that made sense. After DD got into EA engineering programs at Purdue, Ga Tech and others one of us flew with her to tour. In the end she was was deferred then waitlisted at a SCEA, got into three state universities EA and waitlisted at all the Ivies she applied to (two legacies). The other family toured every ivy and got into none. It's just TOO expensive for one or two parents and a child to tour a lot of schools. Dig up the Jay Mathews article and do what he says. If a school like W&L appeals (It does look at demonstrated interest) then tour but most don't look at it. That's easy to figure out.

[Anonymous]

Yes PP that’s the way to go

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Visited Harvard. Disappointed and not impressed. It was immediately dropped from consideration. It's not a waste. Helps to narrow the list and realize things you may never have learned without an in-person visit.

Ha ha ha. I’m sure Harvard was devastated.

It really isn't for everyone. The campus is so-so. And then there are all the tourists. Harvard Square isn't what it used to be. And the school is clearly focused on its graduate programs. A visit is a good thing to do to make things clear. For a good undergrad experience, Harvard is not where it's at for a lot of smart kids. Visits are clarifying

+1

My engineering kid visited Cornell and wanted to like it. But just couldn't. The campus is in the middle of nowhere (we are not east coast)---the drive from Boston with stops in NY at various schools showed us it truly was middle of nowhere. They were not giving tours, were not helpful with any questions, just had a "we don't care attitude---our acceptance rate is single digits and we don't need you to apply" Did not get anyone who was helpful on the tour, the students on campus (it was summer) did not seem "happy". So for my kid, it helped make decision to not apply.
We did 10 campuses in a week, and this was by far the "worst experience" short of "Troy NY sucks and no way in Hell am I living in this town for 4 years" (I agree Ithaca is a much better college town).

Just to show how experiences can be different. We could not sign up for a official tour at Cornell but the students at the campus center were super helpful. We ended up with a great self guided tour. People stopped to answer questions on the way. Two Professors took the time to show us some interesting exhibit on the wall or give us directions. The dining hall food was better than other colleges. Our 2024 liked it a lot.

[Anonymous]

I think it makes a big difference if you visit the college when it is in session.