My Mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she hormone positive (estrogen and progesterone)? Is it IDC (invasive ductal carcinoma) versus lobular? There is a wonderful second opinion oncologist at Hopkins I would recommend - she’s incredibly knowledgeable and also extremely warm and caring - Dr. Tanya Prowell.

Yes, hormone positive and it’s IDC.

Thanks for the reference but I think that may be too far of a drive for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your mom? And do they know exactly how far the cancer has spread. My dad had metastatic lung cancer and they threw
all the treatments at him. All the treatments did was severely diminish his quality of life the last few years. They were unsuccessful (his cancer had a very small chance of being treated). In my opinion he would have been way better off just living his life without dealing with the side effects of the poison they tried to treat him with. Different opinion if the cancer actually has a shot at being treated.

She’s 80. It’s Stage 3 IDC, hormone positive. It has spread to the lymph nodes and is in the muscle and skin on the chest. But no spread elsewhere in the body yet.

[Anonymous]

At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

So you would rather it spread to other parts of your body such as the brain, bones, liver, etc? Because that’s no fun either. That’s also not a good quality of life.

[Anonymous]

Her oncologist should be able to go through all of the options with her. There are chemos that are less aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her oncologist should be able to go through all of the options with her. There are chemos that are less aggressive.

Thank you! This is what I was hoping to hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

I agree with this. Unfortunately part of life is death. We’re all going to due, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. At 80 to subject someone to a year or two of treatments that will be guaranteed to make someone feel awful with no guarantee they’ll actually be successful wouldn’t be my choice. To the PP who was concerned about the continued spread of the cancer- there is a very good chance that cancer will continue to spread, even with treatment. My dad’s treatment did nothing. We can’t cure cancer.

[Anonymous]

I spent 18 weeks in chemo for breast cancer alongside women in their mid 30s up to women in their 80s. There are a lot of treatments that have been developed for breast cancer, and there are a lot of side effect mitigating treatments your oncology team will help your mom with every step of the way. I would just advise not to pre-decide the course until you have a meeting with your mom’s oncologist. It’s too hard to say “I would never” without knowing what your options are, and I can tell you in the world of breast cancer treatment there are many options. You can also quit chemo if it’s too tough. You can choose to “only” do radiation if it will help mitigate the cancer spread for a time and make her more comfortable. These are all decisions your mom will have to make and it sounds like she has a great ally with you by her side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

I agree with this. Unfortunately part of life is death. We’re all going to due, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. At 80 to subject someone to a year or two of treatments that will be guaranteed to make someone feel awful with no guarantee they’ll actually be successful wouldn’t be my choice. To the PP who was concerned about the continued spread of the cancer- there is a very good chance that cancer will continue to spread, even with treatment. My dad’s treatment did nothing. We can’t cure cancer.

There is absolutely no guarantee that treatment will make her feel awful. I was treated for stage 3 TNBC and for me (everyone is different) chemo was a breeze. I had my infusions on Friday and I was back to work on Monday. Never took any nausea meds because I never felt sick once. I had virtually no side effects, except for being a little more tired than usual the 2nd day after. My white blood cells dipped but stayed in the normal range. Didn’t need any additional treatment for that. It was no big deal for me. If your mom is like that - and there’s no telling if she is until she has the treatment - I’d say go for it. If she’s miserable, you stop.

[Anonymous]

At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

So you would rather it spread to other parts of your body such as the brain, bones, liver, etc? Because that’s no fun either. That’s also not a good quality of life.

My answer remains the same
And your horrific description does not change what I said. I'm not naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

At 80 I would not want to experience any treatment that would negatively impact my -current- quality of life. I'm early 60's. How old are you Op?

So you would rather it spread to other parts of your body such as the brain, bones, liver, etc? Because that’s no fun either. That’s also not a good quality of life.

My answer remains the same
And your horrific description does not change what I said. I'm not naive.

What horrific description are you talking about?