To those who struggled to send their kids to a Big 3-like school - did it turn out to be "worth it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would the OP do this at the expense of saving for college? What good is a stellar K-12 education if your child can't then attend the best college he/she gets into, or has to be saddled with heavy loans.

I am not anti-private school, but I don't think its more important than going to a good college without the stress of how to pay for it.

The trend among the most well-endowed private colleges is to eliminate loans and give grants instead. And to extend eligibility for FA to middle class families.

If you live in VA, there are a few great state schools for college.

And college is the new HS -- what really matters is where you go to grad school!!
Also, private LS/MS plus public HS (just bank those last 4 years of private school tuition that you're used to paying and then use them for college) is the best strategy for some kids.

Finally, depending on parents' age and the stage they're at in their careers, private school tuition may predictably get more affordable over time. So you might decide to put up with a few years where it's a stretch knowing you can handle it (and that this is what you want) over the long haul.

In a totally different vein (though I didn't get this vibe from OP), there are kids who will be turned on or off school in the primary grades and that will have a lasting impact. In such cases, choosing the right elementary school can feel very high-stakes. And if it works out, well begun is half-done. Once your kid is an enthusiastic and capable learner, school choice in the upper grades may matter less.

I don't get the rational of public HS after 8+ years of private school. And for those in the District...the HS is when the private school is more critical given the quality of most DC HS. It's like throwing them to the wolves the last 4 years. The environment is also a biggie for young teens and what type of influences are around them....

You don't think where you went to undergrad has a big effect on where you get accepted to grad school??

[Anonymous]

From an educational standpoint: I could certainly imagine sending my DC to Walls after 8+ years of private. And you wouldn't be surprised if someone chose TJ or Blair after a PreK-8 private, would you?

From a social standpoint: Plenty of "wolves" in private schools and I don't see privates as inherently having better environments/influences than publics. Schools are like ecological systems -- lots of different niches within. I'd certainly rather have my DC be a nerd in public than a druggie or a mean girl or the poor kid in private -- and for some kids, that could be the trade-off depending on the schools involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't think where you went to undergrad has a big effect on where you get accepted to grad school??

Sure, but it's like the public vs. private HS/college admissions debate -- sometimes coming from the more prestigious school can put you at an admissions disadvantage.

Arguably, in my own case, my "big 3" undergrad degree kept me out of the same big 3's PhD program (the person who would have been my dissertation advisor felt strongly that I'd be better off working with his old advisor than with him, in part because I'd already BTDT during undergrad and in part because he thought his advisor had more pull than he did on the job market) and another big 3's JD program (I was competing against another woman with virtually identical credentials but a slightly better GPA and the program was small enough that it wouldn't have made sense to take both of us).

Of course you could also argue it the other way since I got into my big 3's JD program and the other big 3's PhD program, LOL! But had I gone public (in this case UC Berkeley) and emerged with the same grades and LSAT/GRE scores, odds are I'd had pretty similar grad school admissions results. And saved my parents lots of money.

No regrets (on their part or my own), I'm just saying that if you see the goal as to the minimize the cost of obtaining the credential that maximizes earning power, it could certainly be economically rational for some families not to send their kid to the best college s/he got admitted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From an educational standpoint: I could certainly imagine sending my DC to Walls after 8+ years of private. And you wouldn't be surprised if someone chose TJ or Blair after a PreK-8 private, would you?

From a social standpoint: Plenty of "wolves" in private schools and I don't see privates as inherently having better environments/influences than publics. Schools are like ecological systems -- lots of different niches within. I'd certainly rather have my DC be a nerd in public than a druggie or a mean girl or the poor kid in private -- and for some kids, that could be the trade-off depending on the schools involved.

I just wouldn't bothered with the 30K for 9 years of elementary/middle school= 270K if I were just going to do public HS...to me that seems like a huge waste of $ if good public elem/ms were available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From an educational standpoint: I could certainly imagine sending my DC to Walls after 8+ years of private. And you wouldn't be surprised if someone chose TJ or Blair after a PreK-8 private, would you?

From a social standpoint: Plenty of "wolves" in private schools and I don't see privates as inherently having better environments/influences than publics. Schools are like ecological systems -- lots of different niches within. I'd certainly rather have my DC be a nerd in public than a druggie or a mean girl or the poor kid in private -- and for some kids, that could be the trade-off depending on the schools involved.

I just wouldn't bothered with the 30K for 9 years of elementary/middle school= 270K if I were just going to do public HS...to me that seems like a huge waste of $ if good public elem/ms were available.

Actually, overall I think that there are more impressive public high schools than private high schools in this area. And in HS being at a larger school can have real advantages (size of cohort, range of course offerings), whereas in elementary school, smaller's generally better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't think where you went to undergrad has a big effect on where you get accepted to grad school??

Sure, but it's like the public vs. private HS/college admissions debate -- sometimes coming from the more prestigious school can put you at an admissions disadvantage.

Arguably, in my own case, my "big 3" undergrad degree kept me out of the same big 3's PhD program (the person who would have been my dissertation advisor felt strongly that I'd be better off working with his old advisor than with him, in part because I'd already BTDT during undergrad and in part because he thought his advisor had more pull than he did on the job market) and another big 3's JD program (I was competing against another woman with virtually identical credentials but a slightly better GPA and the program was small enough that it wouldn't have made sense to take both of us).

Of course you could also argue it the other way since I got into my big 3's JD program and the other big 3's PhD program, LOL! But had I gone public (in this case UC Berkeley) and emerged with the same grades and LSAT/GRE scores, odds are I'd had pretty similar grad school admissions results. And saved my parents lots of money.

No regrets (on their part or my own), I'm just saying that if you see the goal as to the minimize the cost of obtaining the credential that maximizes earning power, it could certainly be economically rational for some families not to send their kid to the best college s/he got admitted to.

dear lord....seems like you still haven't gotten over it. could have done without the personal resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From an educational standpoint: I could certainly imagine sending my DC to Walls after 8+ years of private. And you wouldn't be surprised if someone chose TJ or Blair after a PreK-8 private, would you?

From a social standpoint: Plenty of "wolves" in private schools and I don't see privates as inherently having better environments/influences than publics. Schools are like ecological systems -- lots of different niches within. I'd certainly rather have my DC be a nerd in public than a druggie or a mean girl or the poor kid in private -- and for some kids, that could be the trade-off depending on the schools involved.

I just wouldn't bothered with the 30K for 9 years of elementary/middle school= 270K if I were just going to do public HS...to me that seems like a huge waste of $ if good public elem/ms were available.

there is also a perception among people that public schools in NOVA and MOCO are more rigorous in Math and Science in ES and MS. Not sure whether students from top private ES and MS can really be competitive to gain admission to TJ and Blair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From an educational standpoint: I could certainly imagine sending my DC to Walls after 8+ years of private. And you wouldn't be surprised if someone chose TJ or Blair after a PreK-8 private, would you?

From a social standpoint: Plenty of "wolves" in private schools and I don't see privates as inherently having better environments/influences than publics. Schools are like ecological systems -- lots of different niches within. I'd certainly rather have my DC be a nerd in public than a druggie or a mean girl or the poor kid in private -- and for some kids, that could be the trade-off depending on the schools involved.

I just wouldn't bothered with the 30K for 9 years of elementary/middle school= 270K if I were just going to do public HS...to me that seems like a huge waste of $ if good public elem/ms were available.

there is also a perception among people that public schools in NOVA and MOCO are more rigorous in Math and Science in ES and MS. Not sure whether students from top private ES and MS can really be competitive to gain admission to TJ and Blair.

not necess. a perception, more a reality.

[Anonymous]

Since none of the four programs mentioned was my first choice, there was nothing for me to get over, LOL! And I thought that all of the admissions decisions made were both completely fair to me and rational from the standpoint of the schools.

Someone asked me a question about what I thought. I could tell my answer would be counter-intuitive maybe even less than credible to the person asking. So I explained the experiences that led me to that answer.

[Anonymous]

Oh, maybe it was the "no regrets" part that prompted the the "dear lord" response. I meant no regrets re money spent "needlessly" on education (not re admissions outcomes).

Basically I was differentiating my family's POV on education (good in and of itself/get the best you can at every stage) from the economic investment approach which might make it rational to look for the least-cost-provider instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted re Sidwell and, yes, I'm a parent there. I'll stand by my statement: the US is very strong and worth every penny; MS and LS, not so much.

Did your kid(s) actually go through sidwell lower school? If so, what are the shortcomings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But people who are paying private tuition for one or more kids are probably not going to qualify for grants. The schools will probably say, heck, you forked out $35 last year in tuition, you can do it again with us.

That is not colleges determine FA. If they don't qualify, it will be because they actually have the money to pay for college; it won't be because they paid for private school last year.

[Anonymous]

SAM2 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want SAM2's request, that posters give evidence supporting their opinions, to havb a chilling effect on the haring of opinions in this forum.

I agree with not wanting to chill opinions. And I definitely don't think anyone ought to limit herself to objective data. But I do think opinions are much more useful if they are (1) detailed, and (2) sourced.

For example, if someone just posts that "GDS lower school stinks!" without more, I consider that completely useless and quite possibly misinformation. It's much more credible and useful if people will post something like "my child went through GDS lower school, and I found the math and language arts teaching to be terrible and really no better than my child could have received in a local public school!" And of course if you can show that your personal opinions/experiences are supported by other corroborating data ("and recently 15 teachers quit the lower school too!"), that would lend more credibility.

(By the way, in case it's not obvious, I am completely making up those statements about GDS and just using them as an example. I have no reason to doubt its strength as a school. It seems like a great place.)

What?? GDS lower school stinks? Do you actually have children there?

[Anonymous]

If all you care about is getting to the next level in the social strata, there is no substitute for a Big 3 private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

SAM2 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want SAM2's request, that posters give evidence supporting their opinions, to havb a chilling effect on the haring of opinions in this forum.

I agree with not wanting to chill opinions. And I definitely don't think anyone ought to limit herself to objective data. But I do think opinions are much more useful if they are (1) detailed, and (2) sourced.

For example, if someone just posts that "GDS lower school stinks!" without more, I consider that completely useless and quite possibly misinformation. It's much more credible and useful if people will post something like "my child went through GDS lower school, and I found the math and language arts teaching to be terrible and really no better than my child could have received in a local public school!" And of course if you can show that your personal opinions/experiences are supported by other corroborating data ("and recently 15 teachers quit the lower school too!"), that would lend more credibility.

(By the way, in case it's not obvious, I am completely making up those statements about GDS and just using them as an example. I have no reason to doubt its strength as a school. It seems like a great place.)

What?? GDS lower school stinks? Do you actually have children there?

You're doing that on purpose, aren't you? You know that the PP you are addressing was using a hypothetical. (Bad choice of school to pick on -- why not use a hypothetical school, too? -- but still . . . .)