Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?

[Anonymous]

I live in a neighborhood in Fairfax county with 700-800k homes. High school not on DCUM’s favored list, but it is a quiet and safe neighborhood, my kids have peers and are doing well in AAP/IB and ride their bikes to pool, Starbucks, friends houses. We have community. People are not snobby, and it is wonderful.
OP is just being silly. You do not need 1.2 mil and you definitely don’t need 1.8.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

Look someone who owns a home and is just bemoaning that they didn’t put it on the market at the exact perfect time to get absolute top dollar for it is just rubbing salt in the wounds for someone in my situation.

That wasn't the same PP you were replying to.

That is the PP I’m was responding to.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

Here’s an example. Instead of buying first house and paying $8,000 per month for mortgage, with a $250,000 downpayment, rent second house for $4,750 per month.

Keep downpayment invested, and maybe invest an additional $1,000 per month if that’s the difference from what you would have paid if you had bought when you wish you would have bought. Meanwhile your rental property mortgage is being paid down by a tenant. It is not that difficult to be a landlord. Most months are routine with funds just being deposited. You can hire a property manager if you want to be hands-off.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2416-Rocky-Branch-Rd-Vienna-VA-22181/51767943_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2226-Abbotsford-Dr-Vienna-VA-22181/51769022_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're all works in progress, including you, OP - doing the best you can. It's normal to grieve that this isn't going to unfold the way you envisioned it. And now you need to put your plan B together. It's easy to feel some circumstance is keeping you from living the life you really want. In the fantasy, how would your life be different make if you'd gotten the nice house? What parts of that can you actually start to make happen if you let go of the idea of needing the nice house first for it to happen? What diamonds are out there in the rubble, still waiting to be found? It's not about the endpoint but the journey.

I think you are typing this message from your 4,000 SF single family home, maybe out by the pool perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I own 11 houses in NW DC. I stretched to buy all of them. Now all are up 50-60% in equity and I refinanced down rates in the low 3’s. Just buy the house you can afford now- stop hand wringing and feeling sorry for yourself.

Congratulations! You are part of the housing shortage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the DC area. We did. Best decision we ever made. Believe it or not, you probably do not need to be here. Make a list - what is keeping you here?

Where did you move to there is a housing shortage nationwide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. A year ago we moved to an area where home prices doubled or more during the pandemic. Kicking myself for not moving in Summer of 2020 to buy a home for half the price with open schools instead of dragging my kids through the hell of unnecessary school closures and other insane restrictions.

Nobody could have known what the pandemic was going to bring. For all we knew apocalypse was coming.

BS. Many places had open schools by Fall of 2020, and any reasonable person knew this was the right move by August 2020. We just didn't know that the liberals were going to cave to the teachers union and politicize Covid for a year and a half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

SERIOUSLY?! This is NOT the same situation!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many times have you posted about this before, OP? Are you the mom of two teens who wants to spend $1 Million? I don't feel sorry for you. If you compromise on location, you can get exactly what you need - and I mean 15 minutes further away than you live now will get you something nice.

+1

What areas are you looking in, OP? We can give some suggestions.

I have seen enough from this OP that I am not inclined to offer any suggestions, other than that she should grow up. She's insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

Here’s an example. Instead of buying first house and paying $8,000 per month for mortgage, with a $250,000 downpayment, rent second house for $4,750 per month.

Keep downpayment invested, and maybe invest an additional $1,000 per month if that’s the difference from what you would have paid if you had bought when you wish you would have bought. Meanwhile your rental property mortgage is being paid down by a tenant. It is not that difficult to be a landlord. Most months are routine with funds just being deposited. You can hire a property manager if you want to be hands-off.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2416-Rocky-Branch-Rd-Vienna-VA-22181/51767943_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2226-Abbotsford-Dr-Vienna-VA-22181/51769022_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

PP here and we definitely can’t afford an 8k/no mortgage! We are looking for something (small, not close in, obviously) for under 3700/mo PITI. Houses in this range (500-650k) rent out for 3-4k/mo. We’ve looked for something for less. There are very few and they go super fast. And the more desirable the schools, the harder to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

Here’s an example. Instead of buying first house and paying $8,000 per month for mortgage, with a $250,000 downpayment, rent second house for $4,750 per month.

Keep downpayment invested, and maybe invest an additional $1,000 per month if that’s the difference from what you would have paid if you had bought when you wish you would have bought. Meanwhile your rental property mortgage is being paid down by a tenant. It is not that difficult to be a landlord. Most months are routine with funds just being deposited. You can hire a property manager if you want to be hands-off.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2416-Rocky-Branch-Rd-Vienna-VA-22181/51767943_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2226-Abbotsford-Dr-Vienna-VA-22181/51769022_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

PP here and we definitely can’t afford an 8k/no mortgage! We are looking for something (small, not close in, obviously) for under 3700/mo PITI. Houses in this range (500-650k) rent out for 3-4k/mo. We’ve looked for something for less. There are very few and they go super fast. And the more desirable the schools, the harder to find.

PP here. It doesn’t make sense that a house in $500-650k range would rent for $3-4k per month. Can you post an example of a house for sale or rent in a neighborhood where you are looking?

Here’s an example of a house for sale for $709,000 in Fairfax, feeding into Fairfax High School. The monthly payment would be $4,488 with 20% down, and the Rent Zestimate is shown as only $3,295 per month. So you should be able to rent a more valuable house than what you were thinking for $3,000 to $4,000.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3508-Brookwood-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22030/12260590_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

I don’t live in Fairfax but know two students who had a great experience at Fairfax High School. One is headed to UVA in the fall.

The elementary school for this house, Daniels Run, has Mosaic Elementary as its AAP (Advanced Academic Programs) center, a GT-type of program in Fairfax County, if you have a child or children who turn out to need and qualify for more academic challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

Here’s an example. Instead of buying first house and paying $8,000 per month for mortgage, with a $250,000 downpayment, rent second house for $4,750 per month.

Keep downpayment invested, and maybe invest an additional $1,000 per month if that’s the difference from what you would have paid if you had bought when you wish you would have bought. Meanwhile your rental property mortgage is being paid down by a tenant. It is not that difficult to be a landlord. Most months are routine with funds just being deposited. You can hire a property manager if you want to be hands-off.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2416-Rocky-Branch-Rd-Vienna-VA-22181/51767943_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2226-Abbotsford-Dr-Vienna-VA-22181/51769022_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

PP here and we definitely can’t afford an 8k/no mortgage! We are looking for something (small, not close in, obviously) for under 3700/mo PITI. Houses in this range (500-650k) rent out for 3-4k/mo. We’ve looked for something for less. There are very few and they go super fast. And the more desirable the schools, the harder to find.

PP here. It doesn’t make sense that a house in $500-650k range would rent for $3-4k per month. Can you post an example of a house for sale or rent in a neighborhood where you are looking?

Here’s an example of a house for sale for $709,000 in Fairfax, feeding into Fairfax High School. The monthly payment would be $4,488 with 20% down, and the Rent Zestimate is shown as only $3,295 per month. So you should be able to rent a more valuable house than what you were thinking for $3,000 to $4,000.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3508-Brookwood-Dr-Fairfax-VA-22030/12260590_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare

I don’t live in Fairfax but know two students who had a great experience at Fairfax High School. One is headed to UVA in the fall.

The elementary school for this house, Daniels Run, has Mosaic Elementary as its AAP (Advanced Academic Programs) center, a GT-type of program in Fairfax County, if you have a child or children who turn out to need and qualify for more academic challenge.

If PP can't do something like this, what about OP? OP said her budget is $1mil.

OP, what do you think about this house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many times have you posted about this before, OP? Are you the mom of two teens who wants to spend $1 Million? I don't feel sorry for you. If you compromise on location, you can get exactly what you need - and I mean 15 minutes further away than you live now will get you something nice.

+1

What areas are you looking in, OP? We can give some suggestions.

I have seen enough from this OP that I am not inclined to offer any suggestions, other than that she should grow up. She's insufferable.

DP here, but please feel free to leave this thread if you're not going to help. Housing affordability is at a historic low. This really hurts the financial picture and standard of living for buyers like OP. It's not "insufferable" to be sad that you can no longer afford the type of home that you were saving for, even if someone else has it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many times have you posted about this before, OP? Are you the mom of two teens who wants to spend $1 Million? I don't feel sorry for you. If you compromise on location, you can get exactly what you need - and I mean 15 minutes further away than you live now will get you something nice.

+1

What areas are you looking in, OP? We can give some suggestions.

I have seen enough from this OP that I am not inclined to offer any suggestions, other than that she should grow up. She's insufferable.

DP here, but please feel free to leave this thread if you're not going to help. Housing affordability is at a historic low. This really hurts the financial picture and standard of living for buyers like OP. It's not "insufferable" to be sad that you can no longer afford the type of home that you were saving for, even if someone else has it worse.

But you have to have some perspective. Suicidal because the 1.2 million dollar home you want is now 1.8? She is crying because she can’t have diamonds when she has the choice of the finest jewels. We are entitled to our feelings but we should also see them for what they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Yes, I posted about the same thing a month ago. prices are insane. I couldn't stomach $1.35M for a fixer upper. It just seems insane in this area. We are very sad about it.