Anybody else extremely depressed over real estate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

What are the biggest problems with your current place? Is it just not enough space, or are there things you could do to fix it up and make it nicer to live in? Could you get creative with furniture to create more storage, to free up floor space and make it feel bigger?

I think it can be helpful to keep in perspective that in many major cities, for example in Asia, families live in small apartments and raise their kids there all the time and it's the norm and no one looks down on it. The issue here is that so many others have huge houses with yards, so it's hard to see that and feel like you are less than, but if you really focus on what you actually need, it might not be that much.

Shut up Pollyanna. We live in a tiny 2BR rental that is way too small.

Wow. That is kind of uncalled for and makes you not seem not very nice.

Look someone who owns a home and is just bemoaning that they didn’t put it on the market at the exact perfect time to get absolute top dollar for it is just rubbing salt in the wounds for someone in my situation.

That wasn't the same PP you were replying to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

Yes this is a good idea, I'm thinking of doing the same with my TH.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. A year ago we moved to an area where home prices doubled or more during the pandemic. Kicking myself for not moving in Summer of 2020 to buy a home for half the price with open schools instead of dragging my kids through the hell of unnecessary school closures and other insane restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

The market is still hot

For some things, not others. The condo market has definitely stalled if not fallen. We have neighbors who sold condos on our block in 2019 for 700k and even higher for larger, nicer units. Now similar units are sitting for ages and ages and even with price cuts down to the low 600s or even upper 500s, they aren't moving. These are nice condos near public transportation in a neighborhood that usually attracts lots of young professionals -- plenty of bars and restaurants nearby. For reference, we bought for 550k in 2016. It is depressing to think that if we tried to sell now, we might not even recoup closing costs, and that's if we could sell at all. We know people who have decided instead to rent their places out, which is fine if you have enough money to buy something else without accessing equity on your condo, but the vast majority of people don't have that option.

For people who have outgrown their homes and can't sell them, or can't sell them for enough to enable them to buy something bigger, it's really frustrating. We feel like we are failing our kids. And it would be different if it felt like this was a common problem in the area, but it doesn't. As housing prices have skyrockets, we meet fewer families in our economic position and lots of much richer folks who don't have these problems. They are buying 1.5-2m homes as "starters" with family money combined with very large private sector incomes. When we moved her this neighborhood was full of feds, non-profit folks, a smattering of lawyers and consultants but people with student loans and without family money. It's a totally different place. We don't belong here anymore and never will again, but we own a property here and can't afford to sell it or buy something somewhere else in the region. We feel trapped.

You are not failing your kids living in a condo. I lived in rental apts (1bedroom and 2 bedroom) with my parents until junior year. But im an immigrant so it was normal and i didnt feel slighted. I grew up in a one bedroom too and my parent slept in the living room on a fold out couch. With PDHs in stem disciplines even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Houses I could have stretched to buy at 1.2M 1-3 years ago are now at 1.7M. With current rates and can't afford today's 1.2M, which is orders of magnitude less nice what what I didn't stretch to buy 1-2 years ago. I am miserable.

Read what you wrote. You are in a position to spend $1.2 MILLION DOLLARS on a house. You are doing just fine.

I am not blaming you or throwing shade, but the sooner you realize that your mindset (not your actual circumstances) are the source of your misery, the quicker you can move on and stop beating yourself up over this.

Correct. If you are miserable in the situation of being able to afford a 1.2 million dollar house, you might just be miserable. I hope you extend a lot of grace and support for the great majority of people who can’t afford any house or can afford only a much cheaper home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP. A year ago we moved to an area where home prices doubled or more during the pandemic. Kicking myself for not moving in Summer of 2020 to buy a home for half the price with open schools instead of dragging my kids through the hell of unnecessary school closures and other insane restrictions.

Nobody could have known what the pandemic was going to bring. For all we knew apocalypse was coming.

[Anonymous]

How many times have you posted about this before, OP? Are you the mom of two teens who wants to spend $1 Million? I don't feel sorry for you. If you compromise on location, you can get exactly what you need - and I mean 15 minutes further away than you live now will get you something nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle aged first time buyer and I am practically suicidal over mistakes I made by not buying at what turned out to be the last possible time I could have afforded a nice house.

Its okay, just save and invest. After retiring you can move to a low cost area with no worries about commute, schools or rooms for your offspring and buy a cute little home.

It's too late for that solution. Life is now. My kids' life is now.

Far more than a nice house, your kids need you being present in the moment with them - this, everyday, moment.

Bullshit. They also need space to have friends over. A community. A home they feel proud of instead of their current shithole we have outgrown.

PP is telling OP this is not worth being suicidal for. Being there for your kids is sooooo much more important than the self-inflicted guilt over a dream but unaffordable house.

[Anonymous]

if you constantly look back and wish you could have made different decisions, and bemoan your current state, you are making yourself miserable. What's done is done. Look forward. I know it is hard. We are in our "starter" TH for the foreseeable future bc of rising home prices and interest rates. I get it. But once you're done with your pity party, suck it up, look at the facts, and make a decision based on the current reality. No one has a crystal ball. It is your choice to be miserable. I suggest every once in a while looking around and being grateful for what you DO have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still kick myself for not buying in 2012 with a 3% FHA loan. I had just finished grad school, had a stable job, student loan payments, and a small downpayment. I foolishly thought I needed to save for 10-15% downpayment.

That was so dumb. I shoulda just bought a small rowhouse or 2-3 unit with 3% down and got some roommates/tenants. Stupid stupid stupid.

We have a house now that appreciated nicely, but clearly would’ve been better to just buy right after the fallout of the financial crisis

We are in a condo that has not appreciated, and very much kick ourselves for not buying a tiny 700 sq ft row house with 5% down back in 2009 or so. We would have been able to make like 200k off it within 10 years, and could be in a house that would serve our family for the next 20 years and beyond. Instead we are stuck in a condo and even if we could get 200k in equity out of it (we can't) it wouldn't be enough to afford anything in this neighborhood (not even larger condos), even when coupled with savings.

Rent out your condo and rent a house you would like to live in.

This is easier said than done with kids -- renting in bounds for decent schools is very challenging (and expensive), and not a good longterm solution if you aren't sure you'll be able to buy in bounds for those schools (will lead to yet another school change). Plus added stress of being a landlord. It's not that simple.

I mean it depends how old the kids are and how much you have saved vs how much a house would cost you. Like if your kids were in high school and you only had to be in that district a few more years, and you had good savings but not enough for these astronomical house prices, you could use that money to rent a nice house in the school zone for those last few years. Even if it's expensive, it gets you more space and the same school. Then when kids are in college, move back into the old smaller place or move out of the area altogether.

Now if your kids are much younger and you'd have to be renting far longer, maybe that wouldn't make sense. But if kids are young, I would probably suck it up and move farther out to get a house if it was really important to me to own property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many times have you posted about this before, OP? Are you the mom of two teens who wants to spend $1 Million? I don't feel sorry for you. If you compromise on location, you can get exactly what you need - and I mean 15 minutes further away than you live now will get you something nice.

+1

What areas are you looking in, OP? We can give some suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we missed our chance to sell when the market was red hot (I'm not in DC area). It makes me anxious about trying to sell in a cooler market, and I think we missed our chance to get the highest price for our property, but it doesn't "depress" me.

The market is still hot

For some things, not others. The condo market has definitely stalled if not fallen. We have neighbors who sold condos on our block in 2019 for 700k and even higher for larger, nicer units. Now similar units are sitting for ages and ages and even with price cuts down to the low 600s or even upper 500s, they aren't moving. These are nice condos near public transportation in a neighborhood that usually attracts lots of young professionals -- plenty of bars and restaurants nearby. For reference, we bought for 550k in 2016. It is depressing to think that if we tried to sell now, we might not even recoup closing costs, and that's if we could sell at all. We know people who have decided instead to rent their places out, which is fine if you have enough money to buy something else without accessing equity on your condo, but the vast majority of people don't have that option.

For people who have outgrown their homes and can't sell them, or can't sell them for enough to enable them to buy something bigger, it's really frustrating. We feel like we are failing our kids. And it would be different if it felt like this was a common problem in the area, but it doesn't. As housing prices have skyrockets, we meet fewer families in our economic position and lots of much richer folks who don't have these problems. They are buying 1.5-2m homes as "starters" with family money combined with very large private sector incomes. When we moved her this neighborhood was full of feds, non-profit folks, a smattering of lawyers and consultants but people with student loans and without family money. It's a totally different place. We don't belong here anymore and never will again, but we own a property here and can't afford to sell it or buy something somewhere else in the region. We feel trapped.

You are not failing your kids living in a condo. I lived in rental apts (1bedroom and 2 bedroom) with my parents until junior year. But im an immigrant so it was normal and i didnt feel slighted. I grew up in a one bedroom too and my parent slept in the living room on a fold out couch. With PDHs in stem disciplines even.

Yes, saying that you fail your kids by living in a condo is completely insane. It also shows very little understanding of what kids actually need to thrive.

You are suffering from some seriously distorted thinking.