Insane morning rush - exhausted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mornings are crazy for us too, OP. It sounds like you are doing what you can to streamline. I have learned over time that sometimes there is no "hack" to make the hard things about parenting easier. They are just hard!

Our dog just turned 2 and it is night and day dealing with her in the morning versus when she was under 1. That part will get better!!

And as for the folks getting on your DH, I am assuming he is big law or something? I work a job where I have to be in the office at least three days a week and I often am not helping much in the morning either.

Yes there are. Like having an involved spouse, not getting a puppy with young kids, not being a short order cook...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mornings are crazy for us too, OP. It sounds like you are doing what you can to streamline. I have learned over time that sometimes there is no "hack" to make the hard things about parenting easier. They are just hard!

Our dog just turned 2 and it is night and day dealing with her in the morning versus when she was under 1. That part will get better!!

And as for the folks getting on your DH, I am assuming he is big law or something? I work a job where I have to be in the office at least three days a week and I often am not helping much in the morning either.

Yes there are. Like having an involved spouse, not getting a puppy with young kids, not being a short order cook...

This. OPs spouse is up at 6 but takes an hour!!! To get ready whole OP tends to the kids. Hell no. My DH gets up at 5:30 (his choice) but he's done with his stuff (workout, extra work) by 7 so 7-8 is both of us making breakfast and lunches and dealing with drop offs. I do it all one day a week and he does it on his own one day too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mornings are crazy for us too, OP. It sounds like you are doing what you can to streamline. I have learned over time that sometimes there is no "hack" to make the hard things about parenting easier. They are just hard!

Our dog just turned 2 and it is night and day dealing with her in the morning versus when she was under 1. That part will get better!!

And as for the folks getting on your DH, I am assuming he is big law or something? I work a job where I have to be in the office at least three days a week and I often am not helping much in the morning either.

Yes there are. Like having an involved spouse, not getting a puppy with young kids, not being a short order cook...

This. OPs spouse is up at 6 but takes an hour!!! To get ready whole OP tends to the kids. Hell no. My DH gets up at 5:30 (his choice) but he's done with his stuff (workout, extra work) by 7 so 7-8 is both of us making breakfast and lunches and dealing with drop offs. I do it all one day a week and he does it on his own one day too.

Yup. I’m the early rising spouse, but I’m done with my workout and showered by 7:30 and we’re both hands on deck in the morning. Our kids are a little older than OP’s - 11, 9, 7, and they know to get their own breakfasts. Sometimes we might get something quick for them, but fostering that independence (another “hack”) pays off.

If I had a spouse who was zero help in the mornings, he’d need to take full responsibility elsewhere, or make a ton of money so that we could outsource things like cleaning, meal service, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids if you are saying you have done 8 years of this? They seem quite capable to help. They can pack their own backpacks (my k kid does it), they get fill up their own water bottles (my k kid does it), they can feed the dog (pretty simple) and you can fix their lunch the night before so that all you need to do is zap it in the microwave the morning of.

OP - kids are 8, 6 and 3. Dog is still a puppy. By doing this for 8 years I mean some variation. At one point I was breastfeeding before I would drop off to daycare and getting pumped bottles together. Now its lunches and breakfast. Dog is too young for kids to help (beyond putting food in a bowl). They can't walk dog at all.

Um, whose idea was it to get the puppy?

I'm sorry for piling on, but surely, OP, you know a lot of your stress was self-inflicted, right?

Not OP, but nothing wrong with getting a puppy. The feeding could possibly be passed off to the 8yo. Or the older kids could do more of their own stuff while OP feeds the 3yo and puppy.

It is bad to get a puppy when your day is exhausting by 7:30 am. I feel bad for the puppy. No way is she getting what she needs in terms of care, attention, exercise and training. Then everyone is gonna be pissed at the dog because it had no training.

Op here - this I take exception to. The puppy is well taken care of and goes on 3-4 walks a day. We have already done training and will do extensive training in the month to come (needs to be 6 months old for the course). She is a puppy - of course we get frustrated but I know it’s not the puppy’s fault.

OP - how does your dog get 3-4 walks a day? My husband and I both work from home so I know how our dogs get that kind of treatment but I assume since you and your husband both work out of the house you are paying someone to walk the dog? If so, think about other areas you can outsource.

Also, why doesn't your husband do anything in the mornings? How early do you guys get up? I get it, mornings can be crazy, but it sounds like he does NOTHING, in which case you need some help around the house morning or evening (and you better be able to afford it or he needs to find another job!).

You can make scrambled eggs ahead of time and reheat them. You can also make breakfast burritos or bagel egg sandwiches ahead of time and reheat in the morning. My kids know if they want eggs in the morning we have to plan ahead the night before and I will make time for that but generally speaking breakfast is something that can be microwaved or toasted or eaten cold. I'm huge on filling breakfasts and protein, and I eat eggs a lot, but I make my breakfast after the kids get on the bus. Simplify until you're less exhausted.

OP - I walk the dog before I leave, dog walker walks the dog mid day and then I walk the dog again at night. I work from home a few days a week so then we do long mid day walks as well.

DH is the slowest person in the world getting ready. He gets up at 6:00am and then leaves around 7:00am. It takes him an hour to get ready every morning. I get ready in about 15-20 minutes so I can get downstairs to do all the above mentioned things. I think having a very filling protein filled breakfast helps my kids during the day at school so I really try and push healthy big breakfasts, knowing that it might be the best meal they have until dinner.

I do need to do more meal prep during the weekend - but we are swamped on the weekends too with sports and church and kid activities (birthday parties, playdates, etc) but I need to make more of an effort.

I'm the PP. I appreciate you answering people's questions. That makes it seem like you are willing to accept some ideas/suggestions about how to make things go better for you.

Your husband needs to either get ready faster or get up earlier. It's not fair that you have to do more because you are more productive. I take longer to get ready than my husband does, but if that means he finishes whatever is on his list and then gets to relax, then so be it. I take longer because I have long hair that takes awhile to shampoo and conditioner and then dry and style. I also wear makeup and my husband doesn't. But there's no earthly reason your husband should be taking an hour to get ready unless he's Gene Simmons getting ready to go on stage. Honestly, I think your husband has created a situation in which he is allowed to lollygag in the mornings because he knows you'll pick up the slack and do all the things. That's really sh!tty of him.

For breakfasts, again, I also love protein, but consider making egg sandwiches or breakfast burritos ahead of time so they can just be heated. Also, Greek yogurt has tons of protein and you can pre-cut fruit to go in it, top with granola in the morning, and done. You can do also high protein pancakes, switch to Fair Life milk if you do cereal because it has more protein. I'm just saying, I push protein on my kids every single morning but there are ways to do it that don't cause you a ton more time. An egg has 6 grams of protein. A cup of Fair Life milk has 4.5. A serving of Greek yogurt can have 13 grams of protein. Three Kodiak pancakes has 14 grams. There are options beyond making fresh eggs in the morning. That's all I'm saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids if you are saying you have done 8 years of this? They seem quite capable to help. They can pack their own backpacks (my k kid does it), they get fill up their own water bottles (my k kid does it), they can feed the dog (pretty simple) and you can fix their lunch the night before so that all you need to do is zap it in the microwave the morning of.

OP - kids are 8, 6 and 3. Dog is still a puppy. By doing this for 8 years I mean some variation. At one point I was breastfeeding before I would drop off to daycare and getting pumped bottles together. Now its lunches and breakfast. Dog is too young for kids to help (beyond putting food in a bowl). They can't walk dog at all.

Um, whose idea was it to get the puppy?

I'm sorry for piling on, but surely, OP, you know a lot of your stress was self-inflicted, right?

Not OP, but nothing wrong with getting a puppy. The feeding could possibly be passed off to the 8yo. Or the older kids could do more of their own stuff while OP feeds the 3yo and puppy.

It is bad to get a puppy when your day is exhausting by 7:30 am. I feel bad for the puppy. No way is she getting what she needs in terms of care, attention, exercise and training. Then everyone is gonna be pissed at the dog because it had no training.

Op here - this I take exception to. The puppy is well taken care of and goes on 3-4 walks a day. We have already done training and will do extensive training in the month to come (needs to be 6 months old for the course). She is a puppy - of course we get frustrated but I know it’s not the puppy’s fault.

OP - how does your dog get 3-4 walks a day? My husband and I both work from home so I know how our dogs get that kind of treatment but I assume since you and your husband both work out of the house you are paying someone to walk the dog? If so, think about other areas you can outsource.

Also, why doesn't your husband do anything in the mornings? How early do you guys get up? I get it, mornings can be crazy, but it sounds like he does NOTHING, in which case you need some help around the house morning or evening (and you better be able to afford it or he needs to find another job!).

You can make scrambled eggs ahead of time and reheat them. You can also make breakfast burritos or bagel egg sandwiches ahead of time and reheat in the morning. My kids know if they want eggs in the morning we have to plan ahead the night before and I will make time for that but generally speaking breakfast is something that can be microwaved or toasted or eaten cold. I'm huge on filling breakfasts and protein, and I eat eggs a lot, but I make my breakfast after the kids get on the bus. Simplify until you're less exhausted.

OP - I walk the dog before I leave, dog walker walks the dog mid day and then I walk the dog again at night. I work from home a few days a week so then we do long mid day walks as well.

DH is the slowest person in the world getting ready. He gets up at 6:00am and then leaves around 7:00am. It takes him an hour to get ready every morning. I get ready in about 15-20 minutes so I can get downstairs to do all the above mentioned things. I think having a very filling protein filled breakfast helps my kids during the day at school so I really try and push healthy big breakfasts, knowing that it might be the best meal they have until dinner.

I do need to do more meal prep during the weekend - but we are swamped on the weekends too with sports and church and kid activities (birthday parties, playdates, etc) but I need to make more of an effort.

Wait what? But you're also making their lunches, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I feel you on the healthy protein breakfast. Here's a recipe that I pre-make for the week.

(This makes one small pan, like a square cake pan)

--2/3 of a tub of cottage cheese
--three eggs
-a few handfuls of shredded cheddar cheese
--A few handfuls of chopped frozen spinach ( I defrost it but I think you can get away with adding it frozen.

Combine eggs, cottage cheese, spinach and a handful of cheddar in the square cake pan. Sprinkle cheddar cheese evenly over the top. Bake at 425 for 15-19 min (until bubbly-crispy-melty on the top).

You can sub spinach for broccoli, you can add onions/garlic, you can add sausage etc. It's so versatile. It freezes beautifully and a portion defrosts in one minute. I make it and cut it into squares, put into foil packets, and freeze and defrost one every morning.

This might get a little spendy with three kids, but Trader Joe's sells several varieties of pre-cooked egg fritata things (I only have one kid so...) I give them to my 8 yo on the weekend and then go back to bed.

PP - I have 8-year-old twins (and no older kids). Teach your kid to heat up their own fritatas for breakfast on the weekends! (Also during the week, but why you would get out of bed to do this and then go back to bed boggles my mind).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids if you are saying you have done 8 years of this? They seem quite capable to help. They can pack their own backpacks (my k kid does it), they get fill up their own water bottles (my k kid does it), they can feed the dog (pretty simple) and you can fix their lunch the night before so that all you need to do is zap it in the microwave the morning of.

OP - kids are 8, 6 and 3. Dog is still a puppy. By doing this for 8 years I mean some variation. At one point I was breastfeeding before I would drop off to daycare and getting pumped bottles together. Now its lunches and breakfast. Dog is too young for kids to help (beyond putting food in a bowl). They can't walk dog at all.

Um, whose idea was it to get the puppy?

I'm sorry for piling on, but surely, OP, you know a lot of your stress was self-inflicted, right?

Not OP, but nothing wrong with getting a puppy. The feeding could possibly be passed off to the 8yo. Or the older kids could do more of their own stuff while OP feeds the 3yo and puppy.

It is bad to get a puppy when your day is exhausting by 7:30 am. I feel bad for the puppy. No way is she getting what she needs in terms of care, attention, exercise and training. Then everyone is gonna be pissed at the dog because it had no training.

Op here - this I take exception to. The puppy is well taken care of and goes on 3-4 walks a day. We have already done training and will do extensive training in the month to come (needs to be 6 months old for the course). She is a puppy - of course we get frustrated but I know it’s not the puppy’s fault.

OP - how does your dog get 3-4 walks a day? My husband and I both work from home so I know how our dogs get that kind of treatment but I assume since you and your husband both work out of the house you are paying someone to walk the dog? If so, think about other areas you can outsource.

Also, why doesn't your husband do anything in the mornings? How early do you guys get up? I get it, mornings can be crazy, but it sounds like he does NOTHING, in which case you need some help around the house morning or evening (and you better be able to afford it or he needs to find another job!).

You can make scrambled eggs ahead of time and reheat them. You can also make breakfast burritos or bagel egg sandwiches ahead of time and reheat in the morning. My kids know if they want eggs in the morning we have to plan ahead the night before and I will make time for that but generally speaking breakfast is something that can be microwaved or toasted or eaten cold. I'm huge on filling breakfasts and protein, and I eat eggs a lot, but I make my breakfast after the kids get on the bus. Simplify until you're less exhausted.

OP - I walk the dog before I leave, dog walker walks the dog mid day and then I walk the dog again at night. I work from home a few days a week so then we do long mid day walks as well.

DH is the slowest person in the world getting ready. He gets up at 6:00am and then leaves around 7:00am. It takes him an hour to get ready every morning. I get ready in about 15-20 minutes so I can get downstairs to do all the above mentioned things. I think having a very filling protein filled breakfast helps my kids during the day at school so I really try and push healthy big breakfasts, knowing that it might be the best meal they have until dinner.

I do need to do more meal prep during the weekend - but we are swamped on the weekends too with sports and church and kid activities (birthday parties, playdates, etc) but I need to make more of an effort.

Wait what? But you're also making their lunches, right?

Yes but I can guarantee they eat their lunch every day. At breakfast I make sure they eat. At lunch they sometimes run out of time or are talking and they come home with half eaten lunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mornings are crazy for us too, OP. It sounds like you are doing what you can to streamline. I have learned over time that sometimes there is no "hack" to make the hard things about parenting easier. They are just hard!

Our dog just turned 2 and it is night and day dealing with her in the morning versus when she was under 1. That part will get better!!

And as for the folks getting on your DH, I am assuming he is big law or something? I work a job where I have to be in the office at least three days a week and I often am not helping much in the morning either.

Yes there are. Like having an involved spouse, not getting a puppy with young kids, not being a short order cook...

This. OPs spouse is up at 6 but takes an hour!!! To get ready whole OP tends to the kids. Hell no. My DH gets up at 5:30 (his choice) but he's done with his stuff (workout, extra work) by 7 so 7-8 is both of us making breakfast and lunches and dealing with drop offs. I do it all one day a week and he does it on his own one day too.

Yup. I’m the early rising spouse, but I’m done with my workout and showered by 7:30 and we’re both hands on deck in the morning. Our kids are a little older than OP’s - 11, 9, 7, and they know to get their own breakfasts. Sometimes we might get something quick for them, but fostering that independence (another “hack”) pays off.

If I had a spouse who was zero help in the mornings, he’d need to take full responsibility elsewhere, or make a ton of money so that we could outsource things like cleaning, meal service, etc.

This. We split what needs to be done in the mornings (we also have a puppy in addition to an older dog so I completely understand how much work that is), and then we each get up when needed in order to accomplish our tasks. If I'm doing a longer workout, I get up earlier. If my husband has to go into the office, he gets up earlier. Etc. I don't say, well, if we both get up at 6 it takes me an hour to get ready so I won't be able to do anything else!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand parents who create the reason for their exhaustion and annoyance and then complain about it.

+1. My kids buy school lunch. If they don’t like what’s on the menu I keep a stockpile of lunchables in the fridge that they can bring. Breakfast is frozen waffles, cereal or bagels. I don’t cook eggs on weekday mornings for kids.

[Anonymous]

Frozen Pancake and sausage on a stick. Not the healthiest but it’s filling, easy and a huge hit with mine. Maybe not for everyday but could save you a couple days a week of making eggs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand parents who create the reason for their exhaustion and annoyance and then complain about it.

+1. My kids buy school lunch. If they don’t like what’s on the menu I keep a stockpile of lunchables in the fridge that they can bring. Breakfast is frozen waffles, cereal or bagels. I don’t cook eggs on weekday mornings for kids.

I cannot let my kids eat processed lunchables - sorry but that is gross.

[Anonymous]

I mean, it sounds like you're set on being a martyr.

[Anonymous]

Your lazy SOB husband is a joke

[Anonymous]

Start making an egg casserole you can reheat in the mornings. That will save at least a few minutes. And your husband needs to take the dog for a walk before he leaves.

[Anonymous]

Would your kids eat PBJ (or sun butter if allergies)? I make DD’s lunch the night before. Either PBJ or a turkey sandwich, carrots, a fruit, pretzel or other “snacky” side. Could also throw in a cheese stick. The lunch box comes home empty.

Breakfast is usually premade egg casserole, cereal and yogurt, or a waffle or bagel. Always with fruit. I wash all our fruit when it gets home so that’s quick.

But yes I do sometimes miss the pre-kid mornings where I just worried about myself. When my colleagues without kids complain about struggling to get to work, I kind of laugh to myself. That’s this stage of life, I guess!