Any schools that put freshman in singles? DD won’t be able to handle sharing a bedroom

[Anonymous]

Many small liberal arts colleges allow this; you have to pay more of course. I went to Beloit and it was not unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we’re not sure what to do.

Make her go to summer camp and share a room to get used to the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we’re not sure what to do.

Make her go to summer camp and share a room to get used to the idea.

Not OP but I see no reason to do any of this. I don’t think sharing a room at any point in life is important.

[Anonymous]

VCU Honors does. Also UMN has a lot of singles.

[Anonymous]

My school had an area for kids choosing single rooms. But honestly the kids there were outcasts. They missed out on all the social interaction of the dorms because no one went to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the sharing dorm rooms is ridiculous (my kids never spoke to their freshman year roommates after move-out) but I get it. Space concerns aside, if every freshman had a single a lot of suicides, overdoses, depression & social withdrawal would go completely unnoticed.

So far this is the only post that mentions one of the most basic (potential) benefits of room-sharing: a possible safety net. Yes, there will always be people who don't notice or care what their roommate is doing, but many kids would realize if their roommate hadn't been seen for a day or two, or was on a downward personal spiral, and some will follow it up with a compassionate conversation or a question to the RA. Yes, there will be fellow readers here on this board who don't see that as offsetting the innumerable inconveniences and annoyances of forced proximity in a small space, but regardless of whether people are living in doubles, singles, or suites, we need to teach students the value of community care. A kid doesn't need to be - and shouldn't be - responsible _for_ their roommate, but they can learn to be responsible _towards_ their roommate. That kind of elemental sensitivity towards others is an aspirational value of adulthood.

--College prof

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the sharing dorm rooms is ridiculous (my kids never spoke to their freshman year roommates after move-out) but I get it. Space concerns aside, if every freshman had a single a lot of suicides, overdoses, depression & social withdrawal would go completely unnoticed.

So far this is the only post that mentions one of the most basic (potential) benefits of room-sharing: a possible safety net. Yes, there will always be people who don't notice or care what their roommate is doing, but many kids would realize if their roommate hadn't been seen for a day or two, or was on a downward personal spiral, and some will follow it up with a compassionate conversation or a question to the RA. Yes, there will be fellow readers here on this board who don't see that as offsetting the innumerable inconveniences and annoyances of forced proximity in a small space, but regardless of whether people are living in doubles, singles, or suites, we need to teach students the value of community care. A kid doesn't need to be - and shouldn't be - responsible _for_ their roommate, but they can learn to be responsible _towards_ their roommate. That kind of elemental sensitivity towards others is an aspirational value of adulthood.

--College prof

I’d be curious if there are any studies about possible benefits of having college roommates. It does seem like a uniquely American thing.

I’ve also seen roommates cause a lot of stress and interpersonal disputes. When it goes bad, it can be very, very bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
ONLY in the USA is sharing a room with strangers a "rite of passage".

ONLY in the USA are college costs so exorbitant.

None of this is normal. No other countries (apart perhaps from Canada, for shared dorms) do this.

You're being completely fleeced, AND brainwashed that all this is "good" for your kids. It's really not. None of this is necessary or beneficial.

+1
boarding school for under developed adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

You should make her get a roommate.

NP-agree but I pity the roommate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smith College, although not every freshman. You'll certainly get a single by sophomore year. I know, I was that introvert.

NP. I never had to share a room at all at Smith and I was so happy. All of the dorms have single rooms, and there two dorms that are are all single rooms.

[Anonymous]

The simple solution is to just go to a school where she can commute from home. Lots of kids do it for financial reasons, but I'm sure some do it because they aren't ready to leave home or can't handle being with a roommate. It may limit her school options depending upon where you live, but plenty of kids limit their school options for all sorts of reasons, including wanting to be close to home.

[Anonymous]

By all means, let’s do everything we can to isolate our students. Like COVID didn’t do a job on them already?

There are mental health issues that will follow this generation for the rest of their lives because they didn’t get the same socialization as we did in high school. We should help them work through this stuff, not cater to it.

(This isn’t about people with true need for accommodations.)

[Anonymous]

Yup, Smith. I had to transfer to an all-singles dorm to get one, but it was an easy process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Westchester in Pennsylvania has singles.

My child goes there. It does but not for freshmen.

According to website freshman can get a single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

College room-sharing is a rite of passage, you move from your princess bedroom at home to learning how to live with others, adapt your timings, sharing space, going out of your comfort zone, being considerate, learning tolerance, respecting boundaries. It is not about schools shoving people into a room to conserve space- they could make doubles into singles very easily if it was.

OP, she needs to gain some abilities in living with others - she sounds entitled. "absolutely could not handle". No, she prefers, but she will learn to handle.