School punishment

[Anonymous]

1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

[Anonymous]

I would email the teacher saying how upset the child was (and exaggerating) and asking her what the punishment policy was so that you could prepare them in advance. Let her squirm!
Maybe I would also keep the child home that day saying he didn’t feel well enough because of it.
Schools lose money when kids are absent
That would show the teacher to not mess with you or child
FWIW I work for a school district and the number of adults who are trigger happy about punishments is astounding
Many of them need to know they are not going unchecked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Remember the girl who refused to go to the back of the bus?
We need to start breaking the culture of incessant punishments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Why does everyone keep calling it silent lunch. ES teacher here from before; even at lunch there are certain points where students need to be silent (typically during the transitions in and out). If OPs kid was continuing to talk, a consequence is fair. My goodness. I couldn't imagine having to justify consequences to some of the people on this thread. This is why teachers let so much go, or just don't tell parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Remember the girl who refused to go to the back of the bus?
We need to start breaking the culture of incessant punishments

Oh my gosh. You did not just compare reasonable and small scale consequences (even if for breaking a stupid rule) to entrenched discrimination that hurt people’s lives on a daily constant basis.

OP by all means seek to protest this policy if you disagree with it. But don’t try to weasel your kid out of the current consequence policy.

[Anonymous]

Something tells me your kid isn't telling the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For those that thinks this is hilarious... I never said I was going to intervene, but I stand by my opinion that this was too harsh of a punishment. I do agree she should be reprimanded, but I think this was too much.

I do not know who gave her this punishment, but it wasn't her teacher. Her teacher wasn't even at lunch.

I do NOT think my child is perfect and I do want her disciplined, but considering the issues this school has, a harsh punishment for one of their generally well behaved kids is so narrow minded. There's literal violence that gets punished less in that school and I got talked down to by the principal for asking why there's little to no consequence when my child got whacked with a chair last year but whatever I guess.

Of course you stand by your opinion. So, if the lunch lady said five times "we need two minutes of quiet to explain X" and after attempting that says "Those who continue talking will have to have a lunch period alone..." Children continue talking. Lunch lady says, Child 1, 2 and 3, I'm sorry but you will be having lunch alone tomorrow."

You're right. That's way too much.

Omfg what is there to explain in such length during lunch by the admins or the lunch lady. The kids are eating!!!! Leave them be. You put these ridiculous rules on little kids and then are shocked when they can’t or won’t follow them. Get over yourselves. It’s school not prison.

My child is in HS now but when he was in K he had a teacher who took away his water in the morning a couple of times for minor BS like this. I let it slide a couple of times but the third time I emailed the teacher and told him “he is NOT to take away water in May.” F that noise. Learn better classroom management techniques and don’t be a sadist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Remember the girl who refused to go to the back of the bus?
We need to start breaking the culture of incessant punishments

It's not the 1950's and there is not a culture of incessant punishments. If anything - it's the opposite and it's why teachers are leaving. My spouse teaches in a high needs FCPS school and I'm a former teacher - so I probably have my ear to the ground more than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Op here. I absolutely did not undermine it to her. I told her she made a mistake and would have to have a consequence. I didn’t call the school demanding she not serve her consequence. I emphasized with her being upset and assured her she would be fine

The only person I said that I thought the punishment was BS to was my DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I vehemently disagree with silent lunch. Kids are loud. It’s lunchtime. So be it.

2. That said OP and others siding with her are exactly the problem with behavior issues in school. School gave the consequence and you are trying to undermine it. Very unhelpful message for your kid and others that may see the kid break the rule and not have the declared consequence.

Remember the girl who refused to go to the back of the bus?
We need to start breaking the culture of incessant punishments

Oh my gosh. You did not just compare reasonable and small scale consequences (even if for breaking a stupid rule) to entrenched discrimination that hurt people’s lives on a daily constant basis.

OP by all means seek to protest this policy if you disagree with it. But don’t try to weasel your kid out of the current consequence policy.

I’m not trying to weasel my way out of anything. I think the punishment is BS but I did not try to get her out of it.

I was asking for thoughts on if others thought it was an appropriate punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something tells me your kid isn't telling the whole story.

Why would she even tell me at all then? She didn’t have to tell me. I never would’ve known. She wasn’t asking me to get her out of it. She woke up nervous and worried about it and got upland I asked her what was wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um…15 year veteran HS teacher here and I think this is truly not ok. Elementary kids can’t talk at lunch? A kid forgets and is shamed? Come on. How can anyone think this is ok??

Have you read the thread? Nowhere does it say they aren't allowed to talk at all during lunch. I'm still not sure where the shaming part comes in. It's not like her child is eating in a cage alone in the middle of the lunchroom while everyone watches.

OP here. They were not allowed to talk at all at lunch that day. The entire grade had talking at lunch taken away from them (a day? a week? I'm not sure...) from being loud earlier in the week.

She was really worried about being made fun of for being in trouble. She hates getting in trouble. Because she CARES. She's not a kid that doesn't give a $hit. There are kids in her class that probably would (or have) told the lunch aide to go F themselves if they had to sit alone at lunch.

This dynamic of "but my child is a good kid who makes mistakes, and other kids are those who don't give a $hit" is a really poisonous one.

The fact that she was talking in defiance of another punishment is probably why this was escalated. That's a huge thing to leave out, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um…15 year veteran HS teacher here and I think this is truly not ok. Elementary kids can’t talk at lunch? A kid forgets and is shamed? Come on. How can anyone think this is ok??

Have you read the thread? Nowhere does it say they aren't allowed to talk at all during lunch. I'm still not sure where the shaming part comes in. It's not like her child is eating in a cage alone in the middle of the lunchroom while everyone watches.

OP here. They were not allowed to talk at all at lunch that day. The entire grade had talking at lunch taken away from them (a day? a week? I'm not sure...) from being loud earlier in the week.

She was really worried about being made fun of for being in trouble. She hates getting in trouble. Because she CARES. She's not a kid that doesn't give a $hit. There are kids in her class that probably would (or have) told the lunch aide to go F themselves if they had to sit alone at lunch.

This dynamic of "but my child is a good kid who makes mistakes, and other kids are those who don't give a $hit" is a really poisonous one.

The fact that she was talking in defiance of another punishment is probably why this was escalated. That's a huge thing to leave out, OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid can deal with it. I bet they have to sit at a table with other kids who also got in trouble for some small thing. Let your kid be embarrassed and that will remind them they don't want it to happen again. This is not a big deal.

Requesting a meeting with the principal is ridiculous. If my kid came home and told me this I'd shrug and say "Okay, so you'll remember in the future when you're told to be quiet, to actually BE quiet. It's one day - you can put up with anything for just a day." And I wouldn't give it another thought.

Absolutely not ridiculous. Not letting a second grader blow off some steam during lunch or recess could have far reaching consequences. It is extremely important that they get their bodies moving and let their little brains off the hook for 15-30 min. Otherwise, not much learning occurs during actual instruction time.

Punishing him by isolating him for something like this is so overly dramatic and totally inappropriate.

No, it IS ridiculous. I guarantee you the only way the kids are not allowed to talk for the ENTIRE lunch period is if they're screaming. Most likely they were told to be quiet to hear an announcement being made like, "The soccer field is muddy - stay off and play elsewhere" or "The recycling bins have been moved to this wall." And the kid isn't isolated - you're talking like he's been sent to the hole for a month. He's sitting at a different table for a half hour. This is no big deal.

This. Kids can blow off steam during free play, movement breaks, PE, and recess. I work at a school and supervise lunch. We absolutely move kids when necessary. If I were OP I’d ask myself if I really believe my kids was just talking in a normal volume once. There’s usually more to the story the kid isn’t saying. And yes when kids are screaming it is a zoo and it is unsafe. We cannot hear office announcement and can’t hear when admin or other staff are calling us.