Discrimination by boyscout Troop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it has to do with mom cliques. A mom or two wanted their kids on that troop and finds out they have 10 openings. The cliquey moms make sure they tell their friends to quickly sign up their kids. So by the time OP gets around to finding out options for Boy Scouts there really isn’t space so they say don’t bother applying.
I don’t think it has to do with your son has LD’s. I think it is you aren’t in that mom clique.

I think the fact that the excluded kids are somehow different - LDs, neurodivergent, etc. - is why they were left out. There may be a "mom clique" as well (also why must this be gendered? Dads pull this sh!t as well) but this clique certainly formed within the context of some kids being neurodivergent.

I’m currently trying to get a Girl Scouts troop going for my daughter.

I also have two boys who went through cub scouts.

There seems to be a max number or an ideal number. I’m sorry your kids got left out. I personally would have gone out of the way to include the SN kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m currently trying to get a Girl Scouts troop going for my daughter.

I also have two boys who went through cub scouts.

There seems to be a max number or an ideal number. I’m sorry your kids got left out. I personally would have gone out of the way to include the SN kids.

Girl Scouts has a max number per adult. There is a max number for the two required leaders, then you need another. It varies by Level (age group)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Learning disabilities do matter to some troops. Some troops are really big on having so many Eagle Scouts and kids like mine with ASD and ADD are not likely to make it to eagle.

Why? My dyslexic son thrives in scouts and all the merit badges are well suited to a kid who isn't a standout in school. He'll Eagle at 16 or 17 and loves it

+100

It has been such an important part in the life of my dc with multiple disabilities. The kids have supported one another.

My dc participated in a yearly campout that included some sporting challenges and got to experience an out of line dad who would scream obscenities and be inappropriate when they played football. That dad was living out his failed dreams through his troop and everyone knew about him and no one did anything. I 'm looking to see if this is the same troop.

There is nothing more lame than parents taking over BS events. My kids troop was constantly having to rein in parents who thought the badges were for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Learning disabilities do matter to some troops. Some troops are really big on having so many Eagle Scouts and kids like mine with ASD and ADD are not likely to make it to eagle.

Why? My dyslexic son thrives in scouts and all the merit badges are well suited to a kid who isn't a standout in school. He'll Eagle at 16 or 17 and loves it

NP here. Because some kids with ASD or ADHD are so challenged for executive functioning that reaching Eagle rank by age 18 may not be realistic, no matter how much support the parents give at home. It takes a lot of planning, communicating, and leadership to reach Eagle.

There are many Troops that are not focused on Eagle as the end all and be all. It is an easy question to ask or tease out. If a Troop has a high rate of Eagle Scout you can ask what they do when a Scout is not interested in Eagle. If a Troop has an Eagle rate that is not crazy high, then it is likely to be a good fit for a kid who is not interested in earning Eagle or for a parent who is worried that their kid might feel a ton of pressure to earn Eagle when it might not be doable.

BSA has also been doing a better job in working with Scouts who have learning issues and might struggle with Eagle by 18, I know that there are Troops for disabled Scouts that have modified merit badge and the service project requirements so that Scouts can earn Eagle. The Troop I am thinking of though was for Scouts with very serious disabilities and the Scouts were in their 20's working on Eagle. One of the Scouts was diagnosed with ASD and non-verbal through high school and the other Scout has Down Syndrome so not ADHD or ASD 1 or LDs.

There is no reason to dump all the kids with disabilities into a special troop just so your neurotypical kids can avoid kids with differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it has to do with mom cliques. A mom or two wanted their kids on that troop and finds out they have 10 openings. The cliquey moms make sure they tell their friends to quickly sign up their kids. So by the time OP gets around to finding out options for Boy Scouts there really isn’t space so they say don’t bother applying.
I don’t think it has to do with your son has LD’s. I think it is you aren’t in that mom clique.

Coming back to say I was basically the only Mom involved so this was all men driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Kid 1 - has a learning disability of some kind. He asks a lot of questions, can't focus on the task at hand, but in no way is he destructive and a very sweet kid.

Kid 2 - exceptionally smart, well liked but has a very serious medical condition that while well-controlled and has never gotten in the way of participating, it can seem unpredictable and scary to outsiders. For this reason, I was a co-den leader and at every scouting event.

So, no, 0 behavior issues. That said, do you feel that would justify discrimination?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Kid 1 - has a learning disability of some kind. He asks a lot of questions, can't focus on the task at hand, but in no way is he destructive and a very sweet kid.

Kid 2 - exceptionally smart, well liked but has a very serious medical condition that while well-controlled and has never gotten in the way of participating, it can seem unpredictable and scary to outsiders. For this reason, I was a co-den leader and at every scouting event.

So, no, 0 behavior issues. That said, do you feel that would justify discrimination?

Sorry, you were a co-den leader who didn’t know that every kid except two in your den was going to the same place? That’s really weird and this may be more about you than your son, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst part about the exclusion is that often the organizational leadership turns a blind eye or supports it because they want to keep parent volunteers or coaches. The things we saw happen would make you want to scream.

Oh no, I’m in the process of signing my autistic child up for scouts but I’m worried about how he’ll be treated. Can’t there be anything nice for kids with special needs??

There are troops that are accepting. Don't be influenced by these posts. I believe op but I know my kid's troop was great. It can be difficult because the best troops are boy led. The leader still step in though if there are problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it has to do with mom cliques. A mom or two wanted their kids on that troop and finds out they have 10 openings. The cliquey moms make sure they tell their friends to quickly sign up their kids. So by the time OP gets around to finding out options for Boy Scouts there really isn’t space so they say don’t bother applying.
I don’t think it has to do with your son has LD’s. I think it is you aren’t in that mom clique.

I think the fact that the excluded kids are somehow different - LDs, neurodivergent, etc. - is why they were left out. There may be a "mom clique" as well (also why must this be gendered? Dads pull this sh!t as well) but this clique certainly formed within the context of some kids being neurodivergent.

I’m currently trying to get a Girl Scouts troop going for my daughter.

I also have two boys who went through cub scouts.

There seems to be a max number or an ideal number. I’m sorry your kids got left out. I personally would have gone out of the way to include the SN kids.

Thanks for posting. As a parent of a kid with disabilities you don't know how much your post means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Kid 1 - has a learning disability of some kind. He asks a lot of questions, can't focus on the task at hand, but in no way is he destructive and a very sweet kid.

Kid 2 - exceptionally smart, well liked but has a very serious medical condition that while well-controlled and has never gotten in the way of participating, it can seem unpredictable and scary to outsiders. For this reason, I was a co-den leader and at every scouting event.

So, no, 0 behavior issues. That said, do you feel that would justify discrimination?

Sorry, you were a co-den leader who didn’t know that every kid except two in your den was going to the same place? That’s really weird and this may be more about you than your son, honestly.

Not op. What a vile response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Kid 1 - has a learning disability of some kind. He asks a lot of questions, can't focus on the task at hand, but in no way is he destructive and a very sweet kid.

Kid 2 - exceptionally smart, well liked but has a very serious medical condition that while well-controlled and has never gotten in the way of participating, it can seem unpredictable and scary to outsiders. For this reason, I was a co-den leader and at every scouting event.

So, no, 0 behavior issues. That said, do you feel that would justify discrimination?

There are some parents who volunteer to head activities so their children can mix with the "right" type of kids. They don't mind the loud, obnoxious and terribly behaved NT kids as long as they are good looking and play sports, but if there's an awkward child they will find every reason to keep them out.
I'm sorry this happened and we have seen this play out repeatedly over many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it has to do with mom cliques. A mom or two wanted their kids on that troop and finds out they have 10 openings. The cliquey moms make sure they tell their friends to quickly sign up their kids. So by the time OP gets around to finding out options for Boy Scouts there really isn’t space so they say don’t bother applying.
I don’t think it has to do with your son has LD’s. I think it is you aren’t in that mom clique.

I think the fact that the excluded kids are somehow different - LDs, neurodivergent, etc. - is why they were left out. There may be a "mom clique" as well (also why must this be gendered? Dads pull this sh!t as well) but this clique certainly formed within the context of some kids being neurodivergent.

I’m currently trying to get a Girl Scouts troop going for my daughter.

I also have two boys who went through cub scouts.

There seems to be a max number or an ideal number. I’m sorry your kids got left out. I personally would have gone out of the way to include the SN kids.

Thanks for posting. As a parent of a kid with disabilities you don't know how much your post means.

DP, and my kids no longer do scouting, but PP has the right idea. Thankfully, my NT kids were in troops like that. It's really effed up for it to be otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry this happened to you, but were there behavior problems? That's the only thing that explains it. The adults and maybe even the other kids were just done and lied to make sure you didn't cross over with them? Learning disabilities really don't matter in scouts.

Kid 1 - has a learning disability of some kind. He asks a lot of questions, can't focus on the task at hand, but in no way is he destructive and a very sweet kid.

Kid 2 - exceptionally smart, well liked but has a very serious medical condition that while well-controlled and has never gotten in the way of participating, it can seem unpredictable and scary to outsiders. For this reason, I was a co-den leader and at every scouting event.

So, no, 0 behavior issues. That said, do you feel that would justify discrimination?

There are some parents who volunteer to head activities so their children can mix with the "right" type of kids. They don't mind the loud, obnoxious and terribly behaved NT kids as long as they are good looking and play sports, but if there's an awkward child they will find every reason to keep them out.
I'm sorry this happened and we have seen this play out repeatedly over many years.

This is so so true.

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen this happen in Girl Scouts so it wouldn’t shock me.