Help me live with this: I hate having a dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can so relate. I had a dog in my 20s. What I now realize was a dream dog. Just a really easy chill dog. I now have a neurotic, needy, destroying, tries to sleep lying ON TOP of me dog. I kind of love him but yesterday he ate a $80 bra. He’s 18 months and on Prozac and I pay a dog walker daily and geez. What a mistake. Wrong breed I guess. Or

No crate? I'd never allow my dog who ate my stuff to just wander the house. Ours is crated at night and whenever I can't keep an eye on her.

No he’s crated he’s just effing fast and apparently my boob sweat tastes delicious. He was sitting sweetly playing with a dog toy at one moment and the next moment he’d darted his nose into the (lidded) laundry hamper fished out a bra and ran off and by the time I yelled drop and he dropped there was a big gash in the lace.

If he wasn’t crated I would have no house left. My only hope is that he’ll settle down around age 2. Or people keep telling me to get a second dog to keep him company which sounds like really bad advice.

[Anonymous]

Solidarity. I could have written this post. We had a dog for ten years who we rescued from the pound and I had no idea that all dogs weren't like him. Happy with a walk and some attention but otherwise would just chill all day. We have a poodle now (kid allergic) and she is like this nervous mentally insane person who paces the house looking for inappropriate objects to eat and swallow even after miles in rock creek park, playtime, training, etc. We bought her a bed but she never lies down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can so relate. I had a dog in my 20s. What I now realize was a dream dog. Just a really easy chill dog. I now have a neurotic, needy, destroying, tries to sleep lying ON TOP of me dog. I kind of love him but yesterday he ate a $80 bra. He’s 18 months and on Prozac and I pay a dog walker daily and geez. What a mistake. Wrong breed I guess. Or

No crate? I'd never allow my dog who ate my stuff to just wander the house. Ours is crated at night and whenever I can't keep an eye on her.

No he’s crated he’s just effing fast and apparently my boob sweat tastes delicious. He was sitting sweetly playing with a dog toy at one moment and the next moment he’d darted his nose into the (lidded) laundry hamper fished out a bra and ran off and by the time I yelled drop and he dropped there was a big gash in the lace.


If he wasn’t crated I would have no house left. My only hope is that he’ll settle down around age 2. Or people keep telling me to get a second dog to keep him company which sounds like really bad advice.

We use baby gates in the areas our dog can be in. No laundry basket or anything we care about would be in the areas of the house our dog is in. If it is, it’s not the dog’s fault. It’s your fault for giving such loose access to stuff in your house. It sounds like your dog isn’t ready for the level of freedom you’ve given him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Solidarity. I could have written this post. We had a dog for ten years who we rescued from the pound and I had no idea that all dogs weren't like him. Happy with a walk and some attention but otherwise would just chill all day. We have a poodle now (kid allergic) and she is like this nervous mentally insane person who paces the house looking for inappropriate objects to eat and swallow even after miles in rock creek park, playtime, training, etc. We bought her a bed but she never lies down.

This. We had to re home our dog due to a move / change in circumstances and honestly I thought I would miss her really badly but I didn't. It was a huge relief not to be pulling items out of her mouth / spending my entire day exercising her only for her to still have high energy at bedtime and NEUROSES, all the time about everyone. And yes, we had trainers, we socialized, we tried medication, we did everything. Some dogs just aren't the best temperaments regardless of the effort and time and $$$ you put in.

[Anonymous]

When my kids were young we resisted getting a dog. I knew it would just be too overwhelming for us with two full-time careers and all of the kids' activities. But right after my kids started college, we adopted a Cavapoo puppy and she's an absolute delight! She loves every member of our family, is incredibly smart and affectionate, and is very easy overall. Although she loves playing, she's actually pretty chill. She sleeps really well at night and spends hours looking out the window or doing her puzzle toys. We walk her just once a day because she's trained to go in a litter box, which works really for us, especially on bad weather days. She follows me around all day but I love that. We're all very attached to her.

[Anonymous]

Wait until you get the four-figure vet bills when it gets sick or injured or needs its teeth cleaned!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids BEGGED me for a dog for ten years, I mean seriously begged. One of them is just obsessed with animals to the point I think he’ll be a vet or something. We finally caved right before the pandemic and got them a dog and they are so so happy. They really never complain about having to take care of the dog and really and truly, I am happy they are happy.

The problem is I hate it. I hate how much it’s changed our life. The kids help, yes, but most of the care falls to me of course (as I knew would happen). I hate walking the dog, I hate how much mess there is related to the dog, I hate having to contain the dog when service people or visitors come, I hate being followed around by the dog, I hate that we got an invite to go away last minute this weekend but can’t because we’d have to find dog care and spend hundreds of dollars. I hate being interrupted in the middle of work. Etc etc.

I swear to god I am a great dog mom - the dog loves me and I really do a great job of faking not being miserable for the kids’ sake but I was really thinking I would grow to love having a dog and I just don’t. How do I cope? Just like any other drudgery with parenting, I guess? Just keep going for the kids?

Being dishonest is not a good thing for your children. The dog is making your life hell. I would not continue like this.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way, OP, but no dog. Always had dogs growing up, but we were rural and the dogs ran free, came home for meals, sleep, and cuddles, plus the adults took care of them. Loved all those dogs.

My child wants a dog badly, he is a serious dog person, has a whole relationship with the dog next door and other dogs in his life. I have been SO tempted, because fulfilling his dream of his own puppy would be so sweet.

We dog-sat for 2 different dogs over the past year and I hated it, even though my DH did most of the work. I liked bringing dog along for my walks in nice weather. But I hated: Anxiety over the kid opening door, for fear dog would run out into city street; poop/pee/vomit accidents in my house; fur; taking up my bed space like a brick; following me around so I nearly trip; walks outside when it's cold/rainy.

I considered I would get over the above if I were bonded to the dog. ... I had a dog in younger adulthood I loved with all my heart. I cleaned his puke gladly when he was ill and forked over $1000 to the vet to figure out why. This dog was the real deal, the dog-love of my life.

I see some of my friends chase that. They keep getting more dogs in hopes of recapturing what they had with that one perfect dog.

I think I can't deal with kids AND dog. There is no room in my heart, the kids take up all of that space for me. I have ADHD though, and am middle-aged, so my capacity for "extra" is much smaller.

[Anonymous]

I came on here to write this same post except my dog is a little under 2
..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids BEGGED me for a dog for ten years, I mean seriously begged. One of them is just obsessed with animals to the point I think he’ll be a vet or something. ...

The problem is I hate it. I hate how much it’s changed our life. The kids help, yes, but most of the care falls to me of course (as I knew would happen). I hate walking the dog, I hate how much mess there is related to the dog, I hate having to contain the dog when service people or visitors come, ...

All dogs are individuals and there is lots of nature in breeds. I love some dogs and are happy to care for them and never lived with a dog that was a burden. Frankly OP might have one that is a burden beyond what was posted. We are stuck with a family member dog ... I am miserable.

So OP, why is containing it a burden? That was about a <30 second thing with our good dogs and a nightmare with another. Whines, howls, tries to get out of a room or crate? Visitors? Does it growll and snap at odd times to visiting friends and famiy?

[Anonymous]

You cope by making your kids do more - at their ages they most certainly can - and by acknowledging you won’t get another dog in the future. Otherwise just hang in there. It’s ok that having a dog isn’t for you, but it’s a commitment for his lifetime and you owe it to this living creature to care for him and make his time on earth once where he is treated with compassion.

[Anonymous]

^one not once

[Anonymous]

You need to make the kids walk the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can so relate. I had a dog in my 20s. What I now realize was a dream dog. Just a really easy chill dog. I now have a neurotic, needy, destroying, tries to sleep lying ON TOP of me dog. I kind of love him but yesterday he ate a $80 bra. He’s 18 months and on Prozac and I pay a dog walker daily and geez. What a mistake. Wrong breed I guess. Or

No crate? I'd never allow my dog who ate my stuff to just wander the house. Ours is crated at night and whenever I can't keep an eye on her.

No he’s crated he’s just effing fast and apparently my boob sweat tastes delicious. He was sitting sweetly playing with a dog toy at one moment and the next moment he’d darted his nose into the (lidded) laundry hamper fished out a bra and ran off and by the time I yelled drop and he dropped there was a big gash in the lace.

If he wasn’t crated I would have no house left. My only hope is that he’ll settle down around age 2. Or people keep telling me to get a second dog to keep him company which sounds like really bad advice.

What breed or mix is that dog? Most of my experience is with labradors and that dog sounds like a less than 5 months puppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way, OP, but no dog. Always had dogs growing up, but we were rural and the dogs ran free, came home for meals, sleep, and cuddles, plus the adults took care of them. Loved all those dogs.

My child wants a dog badly, he is a serious dog person, has a whole relationship with the dog next door and other dogs in his life. I have been SO tempted, because fulfilling his dream of his own puppy would be so sweet.

We dog-sat for 2 different dogs over the past year and I hated it, even though my DH did most of the work. I liked bringing dog along for my walks in nice weather. But I hated: Anxiety over the kid opening door, for fear dog would run out into city street; poop/pee/vomit accidents in my house; fur; taking up my bed space like a brick; following me around so I nearly trip; walks outside when it's cold/rainy.

I considered I would get over the above if I were bonded to the dog. ... I had a dog in younger adulthood I loved with all my heart. I cleaned his puke gladly when he was ill and forked over $1000 to the vet to figure out why. This dog was the real deal, the dog-love of my life.

I see some of my friends chase that. They keep getting more dogs in hopes of recapturing what they had with that one perfect dog.

I think I can't deal with kids AND dog. There is no room in my heart, the kids take up all of that space for me. I have ADHD though, and am middle-aged, so my capacity for "extra" is much smaller.

I hear you, sister. Each additional "extra" is multiplied by what's already taking up space. Sure, you can make the kids walk the dog. But it's something YOU have to make happen. When it's rainy, you have to argue with them to go walk the damn dog. You have to listen to them whine. Sure, DH may take the dog to the vet, but YOU are the one tracking vaccines and making the appointment. It adds to our mental load even if others are doing the physical things. If you need to train the dog, it will be YOU finding a trainer and making sure everyone else is consistent so it works. One more thing to have to nag about.

That's why it has to be something you personally love very much. So this additional burden is for your own sake, not you sacrificing more of yourself for others.