Does it kind of suck to be an out of state student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. For those saying kids should want to get out of their own bubble, that’s exactly why my kid wants to go to a flagship in another state BUT we keep hearing that what ends up happening, unfortunately, is that people end up sorting by their home regions anyway.

We’ve heard Wisconsin is like this too where there are the NY and northeast dorms and mini social scenes. Some of the OOS kids probably want to mix it up with more students from Wisconsin but it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Wisconsin is definitely like this, but, as a Wisconsinite, it's not the locals making it difficult. The "coastie" kids come from NY/NJ/DC, live in their own private dorms because the public ones aren't good enough for them, and therefore self-segregate. There's also the issue that they have a lot more money than the Wisconsin kids -- so they wear better clothes, have nice cars, and just are in a completely different socioeconomic strata than your average in-state kid. They only hang out with themselves, join their own frats/sororities, go to separate bars than others, and generally look down at the "Sconnie" kids with disdain. So yes, there was, at least when I was in college there 12+ years ago, a big divide--- maybe it's changed since then.

That said, I did make friends with a few East and West Coast kids -- but they were the ones who lived in the university dorms like the rest of us. They still had loads more money than most Wisconsin kids, but personality-wise, they were very different from the other OOS kids.

My son has a friend from DC who recently graduated from Wisconsin. My son's friend is from a UMC family (one parent is a doctor), and he attended St. Alban's. At Wisconsin, he liked how there was not a lot to spend money on, and a lot of the kids there were very frugal. So he worked part-time and saved a lot of money during his college years there.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. For those saying kids should want to get out of their own bubble, that’s exactly why my kid wants to go to a flagship in another state BUT we keep hearing that what ends up happening, unfortunately, is that people end up sorting by their home regions anyway.

We’ve heard Wisconsin is like this too where there are the NY and northeast dorms and mini social scenes. Some of the OOS kids probably want to mix it up with more students from Wisconsin but it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Wisconsin is definitely like this, but, as a Wisconsinite, it's not the locals making it difficult. The "coastie" kids come from NY/NJ/DC, live in their own private dorms because the public ones aren't good enough for them, and therefore self-segregate. There's also the issue that they have a lot more money than the Wisconsin kids -- so they wear better clothes, have nice cars, and just are in a completely different socioeconomic strata than your average in-state kid. They only hang out with themselves, join their own frats/sororities, go to separate bars than others, and generally look down at the "Sconnie" kids with disdain. So yes, there was, at least when I was in college there 12+ years ago, a big divide--- maybe it's changed since then.

That said, I did make friends with a few East and West Coast kids -- but they were the ones who lived in the university dorms like the rest of us. They still had loads more money than most Wisconsin kids, but personality-wise, they were very different from the other OOS kids.

NP here. My cousin's daughter graduated from UWM in 2021 (she's from NOVA), and she LOVED IT so much she still lives in Madison. She's not the most outgoing woman either. She had a very fun 4 years there. She knew NO ONE when she started. I was really impressed that she went.

[Anonymous]

I was an OOS at Wisconsin back in the day and lived in the in-state dorms. At that time, most of the OOS kids lived in the private dorms because there wasn't public dorm space available. I think that has changed over the past 10 years as parts of campus have been rebuilt.

[Anonymous]

I did not have this experience at all. I was out of state but at a big school and made tons of friends from in state and out. Maybe it’s because I was at a bigger school but it never even occurred to me that this would be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. For those saying kids should want to get out of their own bubble, that’s exactly why my kid wants to go to a flagship in another state BUT we keep hearing that what ends up happening, unfortunately, is that people end up sorting by their home regions anyway.

We’ve heard Wisconsin is like this too where there are the NY and northeast dorms and mini social scenes. Some of the OOS kids probably want to mix it up with more students from Wisconsin but it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Wisconsin is definitely like this, but, as a Wisconsinite, it's not the locals making it difficult. The "coastie" kids come from NY/NJ/DC, live in their own private dorms because the public ones aren't good enough for them, and therefore self-segregate. There's also the issue that they have a lot more money than the Wisconsin kids -- so they wear better clothes, have nice cars, and just are in a completely different socioeconomic strata than your average in-state kid. They only hang out with themselves, join their own frats/sororities, go to separate bars than others, and generally look down at the "Sconnie" kids with disdain. So yes, there was, at least when I was in college there 12+ years ago, a big divide--- maybe it's changed since then.

That said, I did make friends with a few East and West Coast kids -- but they were the ones who lived in the university dorms like the rest of us. They still had loads more money than most Wisconsin kids, but personality-wise, they were very different from the other OOS kids.

My son has a friend from DC who recently graduated from Wisconsin. My son's friend is from a UMC family (one parent is a doctor), and he attended St. Alban's. At Wisconsin, he liked how there was not a lot to spend money on, and a lot of the kids there were very frugal. So he worked part-time and saved a lot of money during his college years there.

LOL!

I pretty much did the same thing as above. I worked pt during college, made a lot of friends doing that and in school, and ended up staying in the state I went to college in. The rat race for status and wealth was not my thing and I just did not want to partake in it so I opted out. 15 years later and still very happy with my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. For those saying kids should want to get out of their own bubble, that’s exactly why my kid wants to go to a flagship in another state BUT we keep hearing that what ends up happening, unfortunately, is that people end up sorting by their home regions anyway.

We’ve heard Wisconsin is like this too where there are the NY and northeast dorms and mini social scenes. Some of the OOS kids probably want to mix it up with more students from Wisconsin but it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Wisconsin is definitely like this, but, as a Wisconsinite, it's not the locals making it difficult. The "coastie" kids come from NY/NJ/DC, live in their own private dorms because the public ones aren't good enough for them, and therefore self-segregate. There's also the issue that they have a lot more money than the Wisconsin kids -- so they wear better clothes, have nice cars, and just are in a completely different socioeconomic strata than your average in-state kid. They only hang out with themselves, join their own frats/sororities, go to separate bars than others, and generally look down at the "Sconnie" kids with disdain. So yes, there was, at least when I was in college there 12+ years ago, a big divide--- maybe it's changed since then.

That said, I did make friends with a few East and West Coast kids -- but they were the ones who lived in the university dorms like the rest of us. They still had loads more money than most Wisconsin kids, but personality-wise, they were very different from the other OOS kids.

NP here. My cousin's daughter graduated from UWM in 2021 (she's from NOVA), and she LOVED IT so much she still lives in Madison. She's not the most outgoing woman either. She had a very fun 4 years there. She knew NO ONE when she started. I was really impressed that she went.

UWM is in Milwaukee.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because the state of CA is so big and the number of out-of-staters is so small and mostly east coast suburban/urban kids with a lot in common with CA kids (I mean, a kid from the nice NYC suburbs has a lot in common with a kid from the San Francisco suburbs), I did not feel like there was an in-state/out-of-state divide at Berkeley. The out of state kids just kind of blended in.

[Anonymous]

For those bringing up their experience years ago, please understand that this generation of college students is having trouble connecting for whatever reason. That's not to say that everyone is struggling, but many are.

My recommendation for anyone concerned about being OOS and out of place is to try to find a roommate who is also OOS. Several friends and my nephew were roommates with in-state students who maintained their social connections from high school ad did not include the OOS kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC goes to a popular Virginia state school and I have been surprised by how Virginia-centric it is. My DC’s roommate is from several states away and feels like an outsider. I see many parents on the parent Facebook page complaining that their OOS child is having a hard time making friends.

Separately, I have heard that at big public’s like Michigan the NY/NJ kids basically stick together and there is, in general, a big social division between Michigan kids and the rest.

I ask because my other kid would like to go to a new state for college and likes some flagships but now wonders if that might be a bad idea.

If you're an out of state rich kid, you join a frat or sorority. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those bringing up their experience years ago, please understand that this generation of college students is having trouble connecting for whatever reason. That's not to say that everyone is struggling, but many are.

My recommendation for anyone concerned about being OOS and out of place is to try to find a roommate who is also OOS. Several friends and my nephew were roommates with in-state students who maintained their social connections from high school ad did not include the OOS kids.

Nobody organically "starts fresh" and branches out anymore because social media and iPhones keeps everyone hyper-connected to their same high school cliques. And every new potential friend cyber-stalks your social media to see if you're "compatible." Joining a frat or sorority is a must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those bringing up their experience years ago, please understand that this generation of college students is having trouble connecting for whatever reason. That's not to say that everyone is struggling, but many are.

My recommendation for anyone concerned about being OOS and out of place is to try to find a roommate who is also OOS. Several friends and my nephew were roommates with in-state students who maintained their social connections from high school ad did not include the OOS kids.

Nobody organically "starts fresh" and branches out anymore because social media and iPhones keeps everyone hyper-connected to their same high school cliques. And every new potential friend cyber-stalks your social media to see if you're "compatible." Joining a frat or sorority is a must.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. For those saying kids should want to get out of their own bubble, that’s exactly why my kid wants to go to a flagship in another state BUT we keep hearing that what ends up happening, unfortunately, is that people end up sorting by their home regions anyway.

We’ve heard Wisconsin is like this too where there are the NY and northeast dorms and mini social scenes. Some of the OOS kids probably want to mix it up with more students from Wisconsin but it’s more difficult than you’d think.

Wisconsin is definitely like this, but, as a Wisconsinite, it's not the locals making it difficult. The "coastie" kids come from NY/NJ/DC, live in their own private dorms because the public ones aren't good enough for them, and therefore self-segregate. There's also the issue that they have a lot more money than the Wisconsin kids -- so they wear better clothes, have nice cars, and just are in a completely different socioeconomic strata than your average in-state kid. They only hang out with themselves, join their own frats/sororities, go to separate bars than others, and generally look down at the "Sconnie" kids with disdain. So yes, there was, at least when I was in college there 12+ years ago, a big divide--- maybe it's changed since then.

That said, I did make friends with a few East and West Coast kids -- but they were the ones who lived in the university dorms like the rest of us. They still had loads more money than most Wisconsin kids, but personality-wise, they were very different from the other OOS kids.

This sounds kind of awful. I wonder if MI is the same way, as the difference between in-state and OOS tuition alone is like $40K.

It was when I went there in the ‘90s. Though it was more like NY/NJ and some other random kids and everyone else.

As a UM alum (albeit 20+ years ago), I can second this. I'm from the DMV and my best friends were from CA, CO, MI, PA, and FL. The divide was between the NJ/NY contingent and everyone else. The fact that there are sororities and fraternities that are almost 100% Jewish kids from NJ/NY doesn't help this dynamic. I am Jewish, FWIW, and was completely turned off by that crew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC goes to a popular Virginia state school and I have been surprised by how Virginia-centric it is. My DC’s roommate is from several states away and feels like an outsider. I see many parents on the parent Facebook page complaining that their OOS child is having a hard time making friends.

Separately, I have heard that at big public’s like Michigan the NY/NJ kids basically stick together and there is, in general, a big social division between Michigan kids and the rest.

I ask because my other kid would like to go to a new state for college and likes some flagships but now wonders if that might be a bad idea.

If you're an out of state rich kid, you join a frat or sorority. Period.

This was my experience at Michigan. I was in state. Many of the OOS students self segregated. They thought Michigan was full of poor hicks and Long Island was far superior.

DS is looking at OOS schools. He is social and makes friends easily, but also doesn’t care of people don’t want to be friends with him. It’s only a problem if it’s a problem. With the tech available these days, kids can easily stay in touch with high school friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC goes to a popular Virginia state school and I have been surprised by how Virginia-centric it is. My DC’s roommate is from several states away and feels like an outsider. I see many parents on the parent Facebook page complaining that their OOS child is having a hard time making friends.

Separately, I have heard that at big public’s like Michigan the NY/NJ kids basically stick together and there is, in general, a big social division between Michigan kids and the rest.

I ask because my other kid would like to go to a new state for college and likes some flagships but now wonders if that might be a bad idea.

If you're an out of state rich kid, you join a frat or sorority. Period.

This was my experience at Michigan. I was in state. Many of the OOS students self segregated. They thought Michigan was full of poor hicks and Long Island was far superior.

DS is looking at OOS schools. He is social and makes friends easily, but also doesn’t care of people don’t want to be friends with him. It’s only a problem if it’s a problem. With the tech available these days, kids can easily stay in touch with high school friends

This was EXACTLY my experience at Wisconsin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in MD. If my kid was going to Florida for college it would suck even more now. And no way to evacuate? Yikes.

My DD is at a University of Florida. It’s inland. Not even any power loss to her apt with the storms. Go look at a map. She loves it! Go Gators!

Best choice ever for her!