Would you send your kids to spend the week with grandparents

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If they’ve already been for 2 weeks in July then probably not.

Dh is saying they need to spend time at the in-laws home now since those two weeks in July took place at our home and also a family vacation to the outer banks. Doesn’t make any sense to me.

There definitely is a difference in the grandparents being at your house with you guys around and the kids going to the grandparents themselves at their house. I treasured the time I spent alone at my grandparents as a kid.

Unless there's something else you aren't sharing, I'm not sure why you would prevent the kids from doing this.

Even when you were 12 and 13?

I’m a DP but at 12 and 13 I absolutely would have stayed with my maternal grandparents for a week and loved it. They were “young” grandparents (just about 60 when I was 12 and 13) and they were so much fun. They had a pool, we did night swimming, late night bacon and eggs, went to the movies, etc. My paternal grandparents were older and there would have been very little to do at their house for a week. I still loved them but a week straight at their house would have been so boring at that age.

Yeah, my in-laws do none of these things. They do go to McDonald’s though!

See, and this is why I call BS on the OP. Let’s be honest: what 12 or 13 year old wouldn’t want to be at a place where they can just sit on the butts and do what they please and be treated to McDonald’s? NONE. That’s what every kid that age would want to do if they had the chance. It’s not the kids who don’t want to go - it’s OP who doesn’t want them to go. Shrew.

Be honest, OP: have you expressed any annoyance about your in laws to your husband in front of your kids? What do you think they think your feelings about your in laws are?

So have you started on meds yet for your anger issues? If not, it’s time.

I’m not angry. I’m just calling out an obviously gaslighting OP. Somebody has to do it. Call me the Liz Cheney of DCUM.

DP, but your view of yourself is... not how you come across to others.

I'm not sure where you get that the OP's kids could do whatever they wanted at their grandparents; even if they can, you're assuming there are abundant things a 12 and 13 year old would *want* to do there, which is possible, but not probable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve already been for 2 weeks in July then probably not.

Dh is saying they need to spend time at the in-laws home now since those two weeks in July took place at our home and also a family vacation to the outer banks. Doesn’t make any sense to me.

There definitely is a difference in the grandparents being at your house with you guys around and the kids going to the grandparents themselves at their house. I treasured the time I spent alone at my grandparents as a kid.

Unless there's something else you aren't sharing, I'm not sure why you would prevent the kids from doing this.

Even when you were 12 and 13?

I’m a DP but at 12 and 13 I absolutely would have stayed with my maternal grandparents for a week and loved it. They were “young” grandparents (just about 60 when I was 12 and 13) and they were so much fun. They had a pool, we did night swimming, late night bacon and eggs, went to the movies, etc. My paternal grandparents were older and there would have been very little to do at their house for a week. I still loved them but a week straight at their house would have been so boring at that age.

Yeah, my in-laws do none of these things. They do go to McDonald’s though!

See, and this is why I call BS on the OP. Let’s be honest: what 12 or 13 year old wouldn’t want to be at a place where they can just sit on the butts and do what they please and be treated to McDonald’s? NONE. That’s what every kid that age would want to do if they had the chance. It’s not the kids who don’t want to go - it’s OP who doesn’t want them to go. Shrew.

Be honest, OP: have you expressed any annoyance about your in laws to your husband in front of your kids? What do you think they think your feelings about your in laws are?

So have you started on meds yet for your anger issues? If not, it’s time.

I’m not angry. I’m just calling out an obviously gaslighting OP. Somebody has to do it. Call me the Liz Cheney of DCUM.

DP, but your view of yourself is... not how you come across to others.

I'm not sure where you get that the OP's kids could do whatever they wanted at their grandparents; even if they can, you're assuming there are abundant things a 12 and 13 year old would *want* to do there, which is possible, but not probable.

They'd sit on their phones and/or watch TV and go to McDonald's and bond a little with their grandparents instead of being home with two working parents all stressed out over the return to school. The horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they'll be bored and want to stay home, then of course not. Why set everyone up for a miserable week?

Generally though, my kids younger and aren't great with transitions, so I wouldn't do the week before school starts. We try to make that week as low key and relaxed as possible. But aside from the timing, I'd happily send them to the grandparents for a week.

I'd like to know all of the exciting stuff that OP and her husband have planned for them for the last week of summer while both of them are working. Do tell, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure she'd love to spend a week listening to them argue with each other and berate each other, complain about how they no only have 8 mil rather than 10 because of the market, eat canned soup for dinner, and stare at the wall in the dark for an hour after watching the first three minutes (and only the first three minutes, dammit!) of the 5pm news. They're a total riot. On top of that, Grandfather is a terrible, yet highly aggressive, driver. Yeah, no way.

This is somehow super evocative of a childhood that I didn’t exactly experience, and yet…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve already been for 2 weeks in July then probably not.

Dh is saying they need to spend time at the in-laws home now since those two weeks in July took place at our home and also a family vacation to the outer banks. Doesn’t make any sense to me.

There definitely is a difference in the grandparents being at your house with you guys around and the kids going to the grandparents themselves at their house. I treasured the time I spent alone at my grandparents as a kid.

Unless there's something else you aren't sharing, I'm not sure why you would prevent the kids from doing this.

Even when you were 12 and 13?

I’m a DP but at 12 and 13 I absolutely would have stayed with my maternal grandparents for a week and loved it. They were “young” grandparents (just about 60 when I was 12 and 13) and they were so much fun. They had a pool, we did night swimming, late night bacon and eggs, went to the movies, etc. My paternal grandparents were older and there would have been very little to do at their house for a week. I still loved them but a week straight at their house would have been so boring at that age.

Yeah, my in-laws do none of these things. They do go to McDonald’s though!

See, and this is why I call BS on the OP. Let’s be honest: what 12 or 13 year old wouldn’t want to be at a place where they can just sit on the butts and do what they please and be treated to McDonald’s? NONE. That’s what every kid that age would want to do if they had the chance. It’s not the kids who don’t want to go - it’s OP who doesn’t want them to go. Shrew.

Be honest, OP: have you expressed any annoyance about your in laws to your husband in front of your kids? What do you think they think your feelings about your in laws are?

So have you started on meds yet for your anger issues? If not, it’s time.

I’m not angry. I’m just calling out an obviously gaslighting OP. Somebody has to do it. Call me the Liz Cheney of DCUM.

DP, but your view of yourself is... not how you come across to others.

I'm not sure where you get that the OP's kids could do whatever they wanted at their grandparents; even if they can, you're assuming there are abundant things a 12 and 13 year old would *want* to do there, which is possible, but not probable.

They'd sit on their phones and/or watch TV and go to McDonald's and bond a little with their grandparents instead of being home with two working parents all stressed out over the return to school. The horror!

Nailed it!!! Let them go, OP.

[Anonymous]

I just think OP sounds mean.

The grandparents want the kids to visit. The husband wants them to as well. OP and her husband are both working full time. OP has given no indication that she has anything "fun" planned for the kids for the last week of summer and hasn't mentioned their at all -- probably because the friends are off having fun.

The only reasons she gives are that the kids don't want to go, that it's a "hectic" week because it's the last week of summer. and that all the grandparents will do is take the kids to McDonald's.

These are petty excuses. The truth is, she just plain doesn't want the kids to go for no real reason. You have to wonder: if OP and her husband wanted to go away for a week for their anniversary, would it be ok then if the kids stayed with the grandparents, ate at McDonald's, and were a little bored? I think we all know the answer. I also think that every poster on this thread who says "if the kids don't want to go, that settles it," would also come to a different conclusion if they needed the grandparents to babysit so the parents could go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would, sure. What is the issue for the person who is disagreeing? You haven’t mentioned that the grandparents can’t take care of the child, which of course changes everything. What is special about the week before school starts?

The issue is they have already seen their grandparents for two weeks in July and I don’t see the point of going to see them again during the hectic week before school starts. DH and I both woh and there’s still a lot to do for the kids before they start school.

Also in-laws won’t take them anywhere except McDonald’s and they will be bored out of their mind. But yes, they can take care of them.

HA HA I just KNEW you would be talking about your in laws and not your own parents. In laws - especially in law grandparents - NEVER get cut a friggin break on DCUM. Ever.

You say that all they’re gonna be doing that week is going to McDonald’s? If that’s the case, then God Bless. All they’re gonna be doing that week in your house is running around like chickens without heads while their two parents are both working and stressing about school starting and being ZERO fun.

If you were the kids, which door would you prefer to take?

My kids want to stay home. I asked them.

It’s all in the presentation. I’m sure they said no because you have been making your feelings perfectly clear and they want to please or at least not ruffle the feathers of their (unpleasant) mother.

You know OP’s kids better than their own mother?

No. But you’re an idiot if you think that OP played it close to the vest and did nothing to influence her kids’ leanings on this one.

The only idiot here is the one looking back at you from your mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would, sure. What is the issue for the person who is disagreeing? You haven’t mentioned that the grandparents can’t take care of the child, which of course changes everything. What is special about the week before school starts?

The issue is they have already seen their grandparents for two weeks in July and I don’t see the point of going to see them again during the hectic week before school starts. DH and I both woh and there’s still a lot to do for the kids before they start school.

Also in-laws won’t take them anywhere except McDonald’s and they will be bored out of their mind. But yes, they can take care of them.

HA HA I just KNEW you would be talking about your in laws and not your own parents. In laws - especially in law grandparents - NEVER get cut a friggin break on DCUM. Ever.

You say that all they’re gonna be doing that week is going to McDonald’s? If that’s the case, then God Bless. All they’re gonna be doing that week in your house is running around like chickens without heads while their two parents are both working and stressing about school starting and being ZERO fun.

If you were the kids, which door would you prefer to take?

My kids want to stay home. I asked them.

It’s all in the presentation. I’m sure they said no because you have been making your feelings perfectly clear and they want to please or at least not ruffle the feathers of their (unpleasant) mother.

You know OP’s kids better than their own mother?

No. But you’re an idiot if you think that OP played it close to the vest and did nothing to influence her kids’ leanings on this one.

The only idiot here is the one looking back at you from your mirror.

You really don't think that OP's kids don't know exactly what their mother's view of her in-laws is?

[Anonymous]

The only thing holding me back would be that the kids don't want to go so I wouldn't want to force it.

Otherwise, I love the idea of my kids going to spend a week w/ grandparents as long as grandparents are capable of properly caring for them! And I don't think it matters that it's the week before school starts. Any "stuff" you have to do (like what? back to school shopping? appointments?) can be dealt with another way...shop for clothes and school supplies online, set up appts for school breaks instead of week before school, etc.

[Anonymous]

The kids do not want to go and they’ve already spent two weeks this summer with grandparents. It’s not a petty reason to say no and saying no is not mean. If grandparents were so fabulous then the kids would want to go.

Tweens have their own opinions and I wouldn’t force them to give up their last week of summer either.

[Anonymous]

Compromise and do 3 nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Compromise and do 3 nights.

What? Why? The grandparents already had two weeks with the kids. This is an invitation not a custody negotiation. The kids don’t want to go so OP can just decline the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids do not want to go and they’ve already spent two weeks this summer with grandparents. It’s not a petty reason to say no and saying no is not mean. If grandparents were so fabulous then the kids would want to go.

Tweens have their own opinions and I wouldn’t force them to give up their last week of summer either.

Give up their last week of summer to do WHAT exactly? Nobody will answer that question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just think OP sounds mean.

The grandparents want the kids to visit. The husband wants them to as well. OP and her husband are both working full time. OP has given no indication that she has anything "fun" planned for the kids for the last week of summer and hasn't mentioned their at all -- probably because the friends are off having fun.

The only reasons she gives are that the kids don't want to go, that it's a "hectic" week because it's the last week of summer. and that all the grandparents will do is take the kids to McDonald's.

These are petty excuses. The truth is, she just plain doesn't want the kids to go for no real reason. You have to wonder: if OP and her husband wanted to go away for a week for their anniversary, would it be ok then if the kids stayed with the grandparents, ate at McDonald's, and were a little bored? I think we all know the answer. I also think that every poster on this thread who says "if the kids don't want to go, that settles it," would also come to a different conclusion if they needed the grandparents to babysit so the parents could go away.

+1

[Anonymous]

Depends on ages and how close emotionally the grands and kids are. I would not do this the week before school. It will get your kids off their schedules and home routines. The week beefier school is a good time to get the kids prepared.