Sundays aren’t fun or relaxing anymore

[Anonymous]

please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

[Anonymous]

We use every plate which comes with five dinners. It has simplified dinner so much! We also get Amazon fresh delivery and have our cleaning lady strip the sheets. Why are you doing that?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the people saying single moms have it easy must have useless husbands. Or their own standards are so low that they would feed their kids hot dogs every night of their husband wasn’t around to notice.

DP. When my husband was gone for a year doing a fellowship I used to make a big platter of fruit, veggies, cheese, crackers, olives and hummus for dinner every night.
The kids liked it. I liked it. It was healthy.

There are a lot of things that are harder about being a single mom. There is no one there to balance out your weaker points or to share in joyful moments or hold you when things are hard.
But yes, meal prep is definitely easier.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a complete waste of space OP

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what your housekeeping situation is, but I was able to hire an individual for 10 hours/week for the same price I paid a cleaning company to come weekly. My housekeeper now comes two days a week and does 2-3 loads of laundry and the meal prep for the day while she is here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

Do you have kids? If you do, how do you manage to have fun, relaxing weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you’re probably finished with your dinners for the week now, OP. Aren’t you glad you got it out of the way? You’re going to be happy after work while I will be running around with two little kids underfoot! I want to do what you do.

+1. I wish I could be as organized and disciplined as OP. She got her dinners made while her DH had the kids. Yes, I don’t doubt it was less than fun but she’s done for the week.

+2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

Do you have kids? If you do, how do you manage to have fun, relaxing weekends?

I very much do not agree with the pps tone of the post you’re responding to, but I am someone who was surprised by this post as I still find my weekends quite enjoyable and I have way less help than the pp (kids 1 and 4, one in home daycare one in full day daycare/preschool). We have cleaners once a month. I think the thing that helps us is I only go into the office 2x per week and husband 1x per week. I also just think our standards are lower.

Here are our systems: We do laundry every Tuesday. I sort before I start my work day with my 4 year old helping and we start one load together. Husband puts the rest of the loads in throughout the day because he works in the basement. Then he lays the clothes out on the bed after dinner and I watch a show and fold that night, put away clothes. Sheets we do at the same time but probably every other week (so to the lower standards thing. This doesn’t bother me, we shower at night usually it just.. meh). Our cleaners come once a month and in between we vacuum after dinner every couple nights and I’ll wipe down the bathrooms literally while I’m in there sometimes just a quick wipe down between the deep clean.

We do very simple weeknight dinners, some weeks we lean into Trader Joe’s things or a good example might be frozen shrimp from Trader Joe’s coleslaw, avocado and tortillas - boom tacos. Another night might be a bagged salad, add veggies from farmers market, add grilled chicken. Or just a bagged salad and some fish sticks with nothing added if we’re tired. Or a frozen tamale heated up with fruit on the side if we’re really tired! I stop work around 4, husband stops around 5 and leads getting dinner ready and then he works again after kids go to bed (since he starts later because he does morning drop off). One of us cleans the kitchen each night and in the summer we eat in the backyard to lower mess (a lot of our systems definitely have a lot of privilege involved for sure). Mornings in the summer we have to make my 4 year olds lunch, we just do it in the morning while kids eat breakfast.

Weekends are mostly family time, hanging, seeing friends. Some yard work gets sprinkled in there but there is 0 meal prep, laundry, or cleaning beyond picking up which is neverending with kids of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

Calm down, dear. It’s okay for people to have their feelings and express them here.

And you’re clearly not managing as fine as you think you are with your hair-trigger temper.

[Anonymous]

I have 10 bathrooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

Do you have kids? If you do, how do you manage to have fun, relaxing weekends?

I very much do not agree with the pps tone of the post you’re responding to, but I am someone who was surprised by this post as I still find my weekends quite enjoyable and I have way less help than the pp (kids 1 and 4, one in home daycare one in full day daycare/preschool). We have cleaners once a month. I think the thing that helps us is I only go into the office 2x per week and husband 1x per week. I also just think our standards are lower.

Here are our systems: We do laundry every Tuesday. I sort before I start my work day with my 4 year old helping and we start one load together. Husband puts the rest of the loads in throughout the day because he works in the basement. Then he lays the clothes out on the bed after dinner and I watch a show and fold that night, put away clothes. Sheets we do at the same time but probably every other week (so to the lower standards thing. This doesn’t bother me, we shower at night usually it just.. meh). Our cleaners come once a month and in between we vacuum after dinner every couple nights and I’ll wipe down the bathrooms literally while I’m in there sometimes just a quick wipe down between the deep clean.

We do very simple weeknight dinners, some weeks we lean into Trader Joe’s things or a good example might be frozen shrimp from Trader Joe’s coleslaw, avocado and tortillas - boom tacos. Another night might be a bagged salad, add veggies from farmers market, add grilled chicken. Or just a bagged salad and some fish sticks with nothing added if we’re tired. Or a frozen tamale heated up with fruit on the side if we’re really tired! I stop work around 4, husband stops around 5 and leads getting dinner ready and then he works again after kids go to bed (since he starts later because he does morning drop off). One of us cleans the kitchen each night and in the summer we eat in the backyard to lower mess (a lot of our systems definitely have a lot of privilege involved for sure). Mornings in the summer we have to make my 4 year olds lunch, we just do it in the morning while kids eat breakfast.

Weekends are mostly family time, hanging, seeing friends. Some yard work gets sprinkled in there but there is 0 meal prep, laundry, or cleaning beyond picking up which is neverending with kids of course.

The reason this works is because you and your husband both WFH so often and can stop work at 4 or 5. Definitely not the case for most households.

[Anonymous]

Even before kids I used to feel that weekends were not relaxing. I would work long hours all week and then weekends were for grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry. I remember at 25 spending a beautiful Saturday scrubbing the apartment bathroom while DH washed clothes at the laundromat. If you have house cleaners and still feel this way I don't know what to tell you. You must be making some gourmet meals.

[Anonymous]

piping in to say one thing I do to make it better is to make sure I have one thing each weekend to look forward to. Sometimes its a walk or coffee with a friend, running errands or shopping alone, or dinner out on Saturday night with DH or another couple, and then if the rest of the weekend is getting stuff done, I've had something I want to do too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: please stop whining OP, you sound like such a baby. I don't have a nanny, I don't have a house cleaner, DH and I both work outside of the home, yet somehow we manage just fine and have fun, relaxing weekends. You just need to grow the f_ up.

WHINY BABY WHINY BABY WHINY BABY

Do you have kids? If you do, how do you manage to have fun, relaxing weekends?

I very much do not agree with the pps tone of the post you’re responding to, but I am someone who was surprised by this post as I still find my weekends quite enjoyable and I have way less help than the pp (kids 1 and 4, one in home daycare one in full day daycare/preschool). We have cleaners once a month. I think the thing that helps us is I only go into the office 2x per week and husband 1x per week. I also just think our standards are lower.

Here are our systems: We do laundry every Tuesday. I sort before I start my work day with my 4 year old helping and we start one load together. Husband puts the rest of the loads in throughout the day because he works in the basement. Then he lays the clothes out on the bed after dinner and I watch a show and fold that night, put away clothes. Sheets we do at the same time but probably every other week (so to the lower standards thing. This doesn’t bother me, we shower at night usually it just.. meh). Our cleaners come once a month and in between we vacuum after dinner every couple nights and I’ll wipe down the bathrooms literally while I’m in there sometimes just a quick wipe down between the deep clean.

We do very simple weeknight dinners, some weeks we lean into Trader Joe’s things or a good example might be frozen shrimp from Trader Joe’s coleslaw, avocado and tortillas - boom tacos. Another night might be a bagged salad, add veggies from farmers market, add grilled chicken. Or just a bagged salad and some fish sticks with nothing added if we’re tired. Or a frozen tamale heated up with fruit on the side if we’re really tired! I stop work around 4, husband stops around 5 and leads getting dinner ready and then he works again after kids go to bed (since he starts later because he does morning drop off). One of us cleans the kitchen each night and in the summer we eat in the backyard to lower mess (a lot of our systems definitely have a lot of privilege involved for sure). Mornings in the summer we have to make my 4 year olds lunch, we just do it in the morning while kids eat breakfast.

Weekends are mostly family time, hanging, seeing friends. Some yard work gets sprinkled in there but there is 0 meal prep, laundry, or cleaning beyond picking up which is neverending with kids of course.

The reason this works is because you and your husband both WFH so often and can stop work at 4 or 5. Definitely not the case for most households.

Pp here and I completely agree - I said that right up front that that’s the thing that helps us, it’s also why I never responded to the ops question originally because it sounded like she worked outside the home. Just responding to the pp. i empathize with op for sure and know we have it much easier then we did pre-covid in this regard no doubt. I remember working outside the home everyday when my son was little, it was hard. Though the stopping work at 5p and starting back up after kids go to bed I think isn’t that out there as implied.

[Anonymous]

I have two young kids - I work full-time -- from home on Mon, and in office Tues-Fri. DH is 100% WFH, but truly unavailable (nature of his job, not bc he sucks) until about 6 each day.

It's a huge priority for me to have open and relaxing weekends -- free from cooking, cleaning, errand-running, etc. It's silly nonesense that weekends with young kids have to suck. Ours are filled with family outings, hanging out around the house, some classes, friend meet-ups, date nights, etc. I made a lot of purposeful choices and do a lot of things to ensure this:

-- switched to a more flexible job when my oldest was about 1, and then arranged with TPTB at work that I can leave at 4 (given the flexible nature of my work, this was NBD). I'm home by 4:30ish.
-- huge rotation of simple weeknight meals that truly take me like 20 minutes to get on the table. Got my older DD used to helping (she thinks it's fun!) and got my younger DD placated with ipad time and a snack (duh, she thinks that's great too, it's really her only screen time during week). Getting these dinners on the table with this routine is not stressful; it's actually kind of a nice part of our day.
-- get groceries delivered (for me it's Monday afternoons when I'm WFH -- works great)
--DH and I have a laundry schedule that we do during weekdays...
--biweekly cleaning lady; otherwise we just, as we go, do things like sweep, roomba, wipe down eating/cooking surfaces, tidy up and put away "stuff", and we are fine with that level of clean (no pets)
--order tons of stuff online, and otherwise run errands when I get free moments at work.

I understand that everyone's situation is different, but even if I had to scramble in the weekday evenings to make dinner or had to feed everyone cereal each night, there is noooooooo way I would spend all day Sunday meal prepping, etc. for the week. Not only is it "no fun", but now you're missing out on even more QT with your kids. It sounds like you too are not happy with the model where you sacrifice Sunday prepping for the week, so YOU should change it, even if others would be fine with that trade-off.

Try to see what changes you can make, OP, to do more during the weekdays, and get that weekend time back!! At the very least, don't make FOUR meals on Sunday! Instead make two and double them -- freeze and have the other half the next week (get a rotation going so you don't have to duplicate meals in a given week). Or add in a take-out or pizza night, really NBD! Start looking for really simple weeknight meals (i have plenty I could share). Get groceries delivered. Family mealtime is important to me too -- but for a few years when it was just my older DD, we would sit with her while she had a kid dinner, and then DH and I would eat later. That could be an option too -- actually sit at the table with your kids while they eat something the nanny has prepared, and you eat later.