Is not allowing parents inside the dorm to help with move in the norm now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

As a parent of two college aged kids this is very very weird for freshmen. I have never, as a kid myself nor my kids and their peers, nor any other parents I know have I ever heard of parents not taking their freshman to college for move in day.

Very odd OP.

Same. Even if it is State U that's 45 mins away, everyone I know goes to support their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Radford lol

What a nasty response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

As a parent of two college aged kids this is very very weird for freshmen. I have never, as a kid myself nor my kids and their peers, nor any other parents I know have I ever heard of parents not taking their freshman to college for move in day.

Very odd OP.

I talked to my daughter about this last night as she graduated in 2019. She said her goodbyes at home and drove off to school in her very full car. There was an army of upper classmen, mostly football players, helping to unload cars into massive rolling blue bins. By the time she parked and was at her room, all her stuff had been placed inside.

She was able to decorate how she liked and commented how most of the parents not only in her room but from what she witnessed were in the way. They wouldn’t leave and had to control everything from deep cleaning the room and sanitizing everything to insisting the kids go to lunch or dinner. She was able to explore the campus without feeling she had to host her parents.

We have zero regrets not dropping our kids off at college. Also, by us not helping her move back in the spring, she had to make hard decisions about what she kept and tossed of the stuff she had accumulated over the year. This helped her save money in the future and kept her living a minimalist lifestyle.

We know a bunch of parents and kids who have done the same thing.

Definitely easier if freshmen have their own cars, are allowed to park on campus and have upperclassmen helping with move in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

Oh, please! Several of the posts here are most definitely judging parents who take their kids to move-in day. Which is weird, because the vast majority of parents do take their kids - even those of us who *also* have kids who have traveled extensively, with us and alone, gone to summer camps, etc.

You're probably in the same camp of parents who insist that any kid living on campus all four years will somehow be completely unable to rent their own apartment, pay bills, etc. after graduation. Really, a bizarre mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ And again - plenty of students welcome their parents at move in and would find it bizarre for them not to be there. As several posters have pointed out, simply helping your kids to move into the dorm doesn’t “stunt their growth” or hinder their independence in any way. You do you, but quit judging the 99% of other parents who choose to move their kids in.

My kid's school has almost 25% foreign students. They move those kids in the day before everyone else---I suspect it's done so they can assist the many students who might be Solo for moving in. it's expensive to fly from China/india/anywhere outside USA/canada and obtaining visas can be difficult for those that could afford it, so I'm guessing many of them may be solo.

But I except the US student move in to have 98%+ with at least 1 family member helping. I suspect most US students without a family member there it's because of finances (ie they had to fly and family just can't afford the extra plane ticket---which are ridiculously expensive nowadays).

And yes, just like my grown kid out of college is not stunted by me "helping" when they have a question about "adulting". I didn't have kids to kick them out at 18 and never help them again. My kids are fully indepentn, but still call/text to ask questions as needed---it's an ongoing learning process and I for one am thrilled to assist at the appropriate level as needed

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only child is still in high school so I can’t speak to the current trends, but a few decades ago I was the freshman moving myself into the dorm without any help from parents. I had spent the prior year abroad as an exchange student in what was then considered a third world country. I was as independent, capable, resourceful, resilient, etc as a kid can be, and also so sad to be watching other families laugh, cry, and be together for a few last hours as they helped their kid move in. It isn’t about whether the kid is capable of doing it themselves, it’s about being their to support a loved one during a huge transition. About showing up for important moments. I have never forgotten that my family wasn’t their for me.

+ a million. This is how my spouse feels, as well. His parents - while kind, nice people - simply didn't see the need to drive seven hours with him to move him into college. So he did it by himself, and watched as all the other parents helped their own kids. Not a good memory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The move-in date is a week before the classes start for my kid. After getting the keys and moving in, can the kid stay with the parents that night? Or it's not allowed?

Don’t do that to them. It’s the first night with all the people they will be getting to know. They will probably have some kind of meeting either RA, and then some icebreaker type of activities that night. Time for mom and dad to clear out.

I get the "don't do that" part. But, is it allowed though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The move-in date is a week before the classes start for my kid. After getting the keys and moving in, can the kid stay with the parents that night? Or it's not allowed?

Don’t do that to them. It’s the first night with all the people they will be getting to know. They will probably have some kind of meeting either RA, and then some icebreaker type of activities that night. Time for mom and dad to clear out.

I get the "don't do that" part. But, is it allowed though?

I think it means don't stay any longer than parents are supposed to. DOn't take them to dinner after move in if you aren't supposed to and certainly don't take them back to the hotel with you as they will be missing out on important bonding/learning time with the other freshman and their dormmates/roommates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today, I just dropped off my HS daughter at Radford for a month long summer program. Parents were not allowed inside the dorm at all, which I found very strange. Is this the way it is with colleges now at Freshmen move in or is this just because it’s a HS program?

When we visited, the boys rooms were fully plastered with nude Playboy posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today, I just dropped off my HS daughter at Radford for a month long summer program. Parents were not allowed inside the dorm at all, which I found very strange. Is this the way it is with colleges now at Freshmen move in or is this just because it’s a HS program?

When we visited, the boys rooms were fully plastered with nude Playboy posters.

Lol this generation does not get print material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

Oh, please! Several of the posts here are most definitely judging parents who take their kids to move-in day. Which is weird, because the vast majority of parents do take their kids - even those of us who *also* have kids who have traveled extensively, with us and alone, gone to summer camps, etc.

You're probably in the same camp of parents who insist that any kid living on campus all four years will somehow be completely unable to rent their own apartment, pay bills, etc. after graduation. Really, a bizarre mindset.

NP. You nailed it correctly, PP. Definitely a whiff of "you're making your child less independent by helping them move!" but that's so common here. And you're right to compare it to the many posts over the years on this forum where some parents insist that students who are on campus all four years will be stunted and unable to cope with The Real World after graduation. Such a narrow mindset. It's as if they cannot imagine anyone doing things differently from the way they insist is the right way to produce independent adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

Oh, please! Several of the posts here are most definitely judging parents who take their kids to move-in day. Which is weird, because the vast majority of parents do take their kids - even those of us who *also* have kids who have traveled extensively, with us and alone, gone to summer camps, etc.

You're probably in the same camp of parents who insist that any kid living on campus all four years will somehow be completely unable to rent their own apartment, pay bills, etc. after graduation. Really, a bizarre mindset.

NP. You nailed it correctly, PP. Definitely a whiff of "you're making your child less independent by helping them move!" but that's so common here. And you're right to compare it to the many posts over the years on this forum where some parents insist that students who are on campus all four years will be stunted and unable to cope with The Real World after graduation. Such a narrow mindset. It's as if they cannot imagine anyone doing things differently from the way they insist is the right way to produce independent adults.

Agree. I lived on campus all four years (blissfully) and then moved back home for a year after graduation to work and save money. Once that was accomplished, I moved out to live (blissfully) with best friends in a shared house. We paid rent, utilities, grocery shopped, and worked full-time jobs - amazing, how on earth did we manage that?! Oh - and our parents not only helped us move into college, but they also helped us move into our house. Imagine!

[Anonymous]

At some schools, freshmen are not allowed to have cars on campus, so it's going to be challenging for most students to get their stuff there without parents helping.

Dropped DD off at UVA orientation today. Parents were allowed into the dorm rooms to help drop off stuff. Then, everyone walked to a building, and the kids were off on their own until tomorrow afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

Oh, please! Several of the posts here are most definitely judging parents who take their kids to move-in day. Which is weird, because the vast majority of parents do take their kids - even those of us who *also* have kids who have traveled extensively, with us and alone, gone to summer camps, etc.

You're probably in the same camp of parents who insist that any kid living on campus all four years will somehow be completely unable to rent their own apartment, pay bills, etc. after graduation. Really, a bizarre mindset.

NP. You nailed it correctly, PP. Definitely a whiff of "you're making your child less independent by helping them move!" but that's so common here. And you're right to compare it to the many posts over the years on this forum where some parents insist that students who are on campus all four years will be stunted and unable to cope with The Real World after graduation. Such a narrow mindset. It's as if they cannot imagine anyone doing things differently from the way they insist is the right way to produce independent adults.

I'm from the midwest. Parents 10000% helped move their kids in and still do. This is not something unique to this area.

BTW, did you move into apartments or your first home by yourself? Because we didn't. Friends and family helped. Or do you do everything by yourself at the risk of being viewed as not independent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

Oh, please! Several of the posts here are most definitely judging parents who take their kids to move-in day. Which is weird, because the vast majority of parents do take their kids - even those of us who *also* have kids who have traveled extensively, with us and alone, gone to summer camps, etc.

You're probably in the same camp of parents who insist that any kid living on campus all four years will somehow be completely unable to rent their own apartment, pay bills, etc. after graduation. Really, a bizarre mindset.

NP. You nailed it correctly, PP. Definitely a whiff of "you're making your child less independent by helping them move!" but that's so common here. And you're right to compare it to the many posts over the years on this forum where some parents insist that students who are on campus all four years will be stunted and unable to cope with The Real World after graduation. Such a narrow mindset. It's as if they cannot imagine anyone doing things differently from the way they insist is the right way to produce independent adults.

I'm from the midwest. Parents 10000% helped move their kids in and still do. This is not something unique to this area.

BTW, did you move into apartments or your first home by yourself? Because we didn't. Friends and family helped. Or do you do everything by yourself at the risk of being viewed as not independent?

DP. I think you're responding to the wrong person or misread the PP. You are both in agreement.