Is not allowing parents inside the dorm to help with move in the norm now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

+1000

If you can afford to be there, yes I just don't get why you wouldn't want to be for the 2-3 yours move in takes. Then leave when university requests that parents leave. It's a huge transition, even if it's State U 30 mins from your home. For my kids, they attended places where they literally knew nobody---no one from their HS attended (that's what happens when you to 3K miles from home). So no matter how independent and how extroverted they are, they are still a bit nervous about the new experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, no one is referring to Covid 20/21 move in. Just normal move ins. Stop regaling us with your Covid move in stories.

Normal move ins? You mean the ones happening currently that may or may not still have covid related rules in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

Are you from another country? In the US, this is a standard thing parents do.

+100
The people bragging about sending their kids alone are pathetic.

-100

Those of us have kids who did not ask us to help with move in or did not want our help. They are not stunted because we didn’t drive the four hours to school and the four hours back. Ours have traveled extensively with us and alone, gone to summer camps. We raised them to not need us. We never turn down calls when they want us.

We are not bragging or putting you down because you did it differently. Stop virtue signaling that we are judging you because we just aren’t.

100% Some kids wanted to handle this on their own. Some kids who didn't have a choice because of Covid and then the next year, they were fine with handling it by themselves. If my kid wants to handle it on his own, I'm going to let him. He'll ask for help when he needs it (and know that we will be there if he needs help - with this or anything else) but I'm not pushing myself into a dorm room with my kid, his roommate, and two other parents just because it might make me feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, no one is referring to Covid 20/21 move in. Just normal move ins. Stop regaling us with your Covid move in stories.

Why do people feel the need to tell other people how to respond? You aren't the arbiter of responses to a post. Covid seemed related to me since the OP was asking if things had changed with college move in and many people relate those changes to covid. If the OP doesn't want to read those comments, then they are free to scroll past them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my university 20+ years ago, parents didn't help move in. Th orientation crew helped with move in.

I entered college in 1994. I abs had my parents' help. Doesn't seem helicopter-y to me -- place was 4 hours away and we drove. Should my parents just have dropped it off on the lawn and let me deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my university 20+ years ago, parents didn't help move in. Th orientation crew helped with move in.

I entered college in 1994. I abs had my parents' help. Doesn't seem helicopter-y to me -- place was 4 hours away and we drove. Should my parents just have dropped it off on the lawn and let me deal?

I moved into college in 1993. Everyone's parents were there. There were also very eager "helpers" from the christian youth group who were recruiting new members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my university 20+ years ago, parents didn't help move in. Th orientation crew helped with move in.

I entered college in 1994. I abs had my parents' help. Doesn't seem helicopter-y to me -- place was 4 hours away and we drove. Should my parents just have dropped it off on the lawn and let me deal?

I entered college in 1987. Everyone's parents were there. There was also a huge orientation staff and 2 students from that helped unload everything and take it to the room. My parents were there for about 1-2 hours, then had to get on road for long drive home (1000 miles). I get if your kid doesn't want you to come---but I just have not met any like that, no matter how independent they are

[Anonymous]

My only child is still in high school so I can’t speak to the current trends, but a few decades ago I was the freshman moving myself into the dorm without any help from parents. I had spent the prior year abroad as an exchange student in what was then considered a third world country. I was as independent, capable, resourceful, resilient, etc as a kid can be, and also so sad to be watching other families laugh, cry, and be together for a few last hours as they helped their kid move in. It isn’t about whether the kid is capable of doing it themselves, it’s about being their to support a loved one during a huge transition. About showing up for important moments. I have never forgotten that my family wasn’t their for me.

[Anonymous]

We just dropped my son of at orientation and they would not let parents in the rooms; however, orientation is just for two days, so no real need. They said that during actual move-in, parents will be allowed up, but they will be offering time slots for each kid (I think this is partially a covid thing).

My daughter is attending a summer program and they said parents can help move stuff in, but the program is 3 weeks long and my daughter will have a lot of stuff to take, so it makes sense.

Sure, my kids are well-traveled and can handle things themselves, but college is a milestone — I don’t think it’s wrong to want to help your child get situated in the dorm before you leave, provided your child is OK with that.

[Anonymous]

My parents put me on a plane and sent me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

As a parent of two college aged kids this is very very weird for freshmen. I have never, as a kid myself nor my kids and their peers, nor any other parents I know have I ever heard of parents not taking their freshman to college for move in day.

Very odd OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of two college graduates. We never helped them move in. We said our goodbyes at home and they were off. Freshman parents helping with move in is so foreign to me!

As a parent of two college aged kids this is very very weird for freshmen. I have never, as a kid myself nor my kids and their peers, nor any other parents I know have I ever heard of parents not taking their freshman to college for move in day.

Very odd OP.

I talked to my daughter about this last night as she graduated in 2019. She said her goodbyes at home and drove off to school in her very full car. There was an army of upper classmen, mostly football players, helping to unload cars into massive rolling blue bins. By the time she parked and was at her room, all her stuff had been placed inside.

She was able to decorate how she liked and commented how most of the parents not only in her room but from what she witnessed were in the way. They wouldn’t leave and had to control everything from deep cleaning the room and sanitizing everything to insisting the kids go to lunch or dinner. She was able to explore the campus without feeling she had to host her parents.

We have zero regrets not dropping our kids off at college. Also, by us not helping her move back in the spring, she had to make hard decisions about what she kept and tossed of the stuff she had accumulated over the year. This helped her save money in the future and kept her living a minimalist lifestyle.

We know a bunch of parents and kids who have done the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Back to the original question, no that is not common, OP. COVID restrictions generally meant limited time or one parent at most dorms for move-in, and no visitation by any non-student after. Otherwise that's not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only child is still in high school so I can’t speak to the current trends, but a few decades ago I was the freshman moving myself into the dorm without any help from parents. I had spent the prior year abroad as an exchange student in what was then considered a third world country. I was as independent, capable, resourceful, resilient, etc as a kid can be, and also so sad to be watching other families laugh, cry, and be together for a few last hours as they helped their kid move in. It isn’t about whether the kid is capable of doing it themselves, it’s about being their to support a loved one during a huge transition. About showing up for important moments. I have never forgotten that my family wasn’t their for me.

1000% this. Just because my kid is 18 and capable of being fully independent (or nearly), I love that they want us to be there for key events and to still help and support.

My kid's school has 25% foreign students and they move them in 1 day before the USA freshman. I suspect some of that is to provide additional assistance for the many kids who are solo. Because it would be hard to see everyone else with family around and not have yours.