Why I think people moving in middle age should seek accessible housing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

I never understand why people think walkability is appealing to the elderly. My mom and MIL have mobility issues. They have zero interest or ability to walk to get groceries, go to restaurants, our anywhere where there are tons of cars. They move slowly and feel vulnerable if they’re in busy populated areas.

So it's already too late for your mother and MIL, but for elders who are still quite spry, they should continue to be mobile as much as possible. Likely your relatives always lived in suburban areas and depended on cars, which hurt their mobility long-term.

[Anonymous]

Meh.

We have one of those sfh that can turn a large office into a full en suite.

My MIL (75) has a one story home. She cannot go up and down stairs.

My mother (75) has a three story home. Goes up and down stairs just fine.

If we have to we will convert. But having stairs is good practice for long term health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also have you priced an elevator?? We have for my father, and they’re about $30k, break down more frequently than the money is worth, and most houses are not constructed to retro-fit one in.

Also, they're known to be dangerous for children and can entrap and crush them. I wouldn't buy a home with one, and I would avoid them entirely when visiting others.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/07/14/elevator-death-outer-banks/

That’s silly. If your install a new one, it will have modern safety features. An old one can be retrofitted.

I would be careful with a rental home, though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

I never understand why people think walkability is appealing to the elderly. My mom and MIL have mobility issues. They have zero interest or ability to walk to get groceries, go to restaurants, our anywhere where there are tons of cars. They move slowly and feel vulnerable if they’re in busy populated areas.

So it's already too late for your mother and MIL, but for elders who are still quite spry, they should continue to be mobile as much as possible. Likely your relatives always lived in suburban areas and depended on cars, which hurt their mobility long-term.

Agree with this. I saw a change in my mom the moment she retired from her job that forced her to walk all of the time.

[Anonymous]

We were able to keep my elderly ailing grandma living with us until the end in a two story house by installing a stair lift and altering her bathroom with one of those walk in shower things. Worked great for us.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing is to be very close from high quality healthcare. My FIL is a cardiologist. The rest is not crucial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kris Jenner just built herself a new mansion with two stories. Most people in the DC area fit her profile (minus the money) -- healthy 60, 70 year olds who are continuing on in their middle age and still want space to live.

If you've exercised throughout life and stayed healthy, you shouldn't have mobility issues. People I know who want one story tend to be overweight and unhealthy and "don't do stairs."

Going up and down stairs is good for you. Most falls come from people drinking alcohol and falling down. Don't drink and walk.

The arrogance of youth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kris Jenner just built herself a new mansion with two stories. Most people in the DC area fit her profile (minus the money) -- healthy 60, 70 year olds who are continuing on in their middle age and still want space to live.

If you've exercised throughout life and stayed healthy, you shouldn't have mobility issues. People I know who want one story tend to be overweight and unhealthy and "don't do stairs."

Going up and down stairs is good for you. Most falls come from people drinking alcohol and falling down. Don't drink and walk.

What a stupid example. There's no way Kris Jenner doesn't have both an elevator and bedrooms on the first floor.

And the ability to pick up and move if she so desires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

+1, also PP is not describing a high density, walkable community! If people are frequently getting hit by cars driven by teenagers and the elderly, that's a car-centric community where teens and old people have to get around via car.

Where I live, teenagers rarely drive because they don't need to -- they can walk, take bus or metro, ride a bike. There are still a lot of older people who drive around here, but that's a holdover from a time when this area was less dense and had less public transportation. They don't need to drive and probably shouldn't. However, you also don't see tons of accidents or people getting hit because speed limits are low and road capacity is low, so even when there are accidents, they are very rarely deadly. It's more like one of the old folks in the neighborhood will run into another vehicle while parking.

Also, if an elderly person is so isolated that during a power outage, they will get trapped in their apartment with no water, then they should probably not be living alone. I don't know any elderly people like this where I live. We have lots of people in our building and neighboring buildings in their 70s and 80s, but we know them and during a power outage that lasts more than a few hours, or if it's very hot out, we go knock on their door and make sure they are okay! Our building does not have an elevator and the oldest people in the building live in garden apartments for this reason, so an elevator outage is not a thing. It's also nice for them because they have some outdoor space. There are some spry septuagenarians who live on higher floors but they can still get up and down a flight of stairs, or they wouldn't be able to live there at all. We have had people move out of the building as they get older, either to live with family or to move into retirement communities, because they got too old to move around independently or care for themselves. But it doesn't happen that often. I do think living in the city, around family and younger people, in neighborhoods where they walk to the store, church, and the library and are forced to walk and occasionally climb stairs, tends to keep people younger longer. What you see much more often than physical failure is dementia. That seems far more likely to make it hard for someone to live alone or with a partner in an urban apartment than their hips. But I also have to believe that the sociability of living in the city must be good for older folks starting to experience dementia. It might buy them a few more years of independence before it's bad enough to require around the clock care. But they aren't heading out to a SFH in a suburb on their own. They are moving in with their kids or into retirement homes. Which is just a different version of higher density housing, actually.

Agree that walkability, and being around lots of other people, is great for older folks. My DH have every intention of aging in place in the city as long as we can. If we need more care, we'd like to live in a retirement community in our neighborhood (there are several) rather than uproot for something more suburban. We love it here.

"Should not be living alone" is easy to say and less easy to put into effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

I never understand why people think walkability is appealing to the elderly. My mom and MIL have mobility issues. They have zero interest or ability to walk to get groceries, go to restaurants, our anywhere where there are tons of cars. They move slowly and feel vulnerable if they’re in busy populated areas.

So it's already too late for your mother and MIL, but for elders who are still quite spry, they should continue to be mobile as much as possible. Likely your relatives always lived in suburban areas and depended on cars, which hurt their mobility long-term.

Agree with this. I saw a change in my mom the moment she retired from her job that forced her to walk all of the time.

Seems like a real vicious cycle for older people who stop being active. The less you're active the less mobility you have, then the less active you want to be, and on and on.

Watching my parents age now is breaking my heart and also teaching me how much of this is a mix of good habits and good luck.

[Anonymous]

People in middle age should also live significantly below their means (aka - possible on one income) when choosing a home. Illness can quickly wipe out one person's income very quickly. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

We just sold and are in our mid-40’s. We’re now looking for a rambler or at least a home with an en-suite on the first floor.

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends. My aging parents (67 and 75) live on a farm with animals and they are super active. The farm definitely helps with that bc they have to get exercise every day. Eventually they will no longer be able to maintain it, but they have enough money to move somewhere accessible when that happens. If they moved into a garden condo ten years ago I doubt they would be as healthy and fit as they are now.

[Anonymous]

Is there a long period for most people where they can't do stairs but can still live independently and maintain a large house? It seems like for a lot of people whatever makes them unable to do stairs will soon make them pretty immobile and in need of care. Not sure it makes sense to plan everything around the period of time in between those two things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a long period for most people where they can't do stairs but can still live independently and maintain a large house? It seems like for a lot of people whatever makes them unable to do stairs will soon make them pretty immobile and in need of care. Not sure it makes sense to plan everything around the period of time in between those two things.

Just speaking from my own experience (with my parents) - doing stairs isn't just a matter of being able to physically get up and down them. It's also an issue of how serious it's likely to be if you fall, and whether you want to take that risk on a daily basis. Falls are a really big issue for people as they age.