Why I think people moving in middle age should seek accessible housing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the whole thing funny. As if 55 is old. I bought my current home at 55. I had a wife a 10, 15 and 17 year old and three cars.

45-55 is trade up time. Not ranch one level living. And retirement age is 67 in United States.

I am an empty Nestor at 67 and will retire. But then I want to maybe travel, figure where to live. Maybe downsize but more likely buy a second home one level as a vacation home to see if I like it.

My neighbors many are 60-85 and live in large homes and walk all the time. My 80 year old neighbors across the street walk three miles every day.

My house literally of old would only need to go up and downstairs twice a day to just to sleep.

Also where do kids and grandkids stay in your magically one story home. None of my kids are staying in DMV it appears.

They come home Xmas and Thanksgiving they expect their bedrooms. Come marriage will be bringing spouses and then grandkids.

And I WFH I can’t imagine how horrible that is on one level. And what about hobbies?

And who is cleaning out these big houses. Kids are lazy. Is my 80 year old neighbors supposed to empty a 7,000 sf house on their own and pack up?

More reason to become an empty nester before 60, downsize and spend money on travel, hobbies etc. It sounds horrible to maintain a 7,000 sqf home in your 80's because kids visit twice a year for few days. Y'all can rent Airbnb to enjoy holidays together.

My neighbors are a retired surgeon married to a retired VP. He even walks one mile to supermarket on nice days. They have no housekeeper. They are in perfect health. They do have a landscaper and handyman.

Empty Nestor at 60 is not a goal for most. My boss used to always say you can’t be 30 at 60. Retire early to do what. Your best years are 18-34.

It’s “nester,” not “nestor.”

[Anonymous]

Kris Jenner just built herself a new mansion with two stories. Most people in the DC area fit her profile (minus the money) -- healthy 60, 70 year olds who are continuing on in their middle age and still want space to live.

If you've exercised throughout life and stayed healthy, you shouldn't have mobility issues. People I know who want one story tend to be overweight and unhealthy and "don't do stairs."

Going up and down stairs is good for you. Most falls come from people drinking alcohol and falling down. Don't drink and walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the whole thing funny. As if 55 is old. I bought my current home at 55. I had a wife a 10, 15 and 17 year old and three cars.

45-55 is trade up time. Not ranch one level living. And retirement age is 67 in United States.

I am an empty Nestor at 67 and will retire. But then I want to maybe travel, figure where to live. Maybe downsize but more likely buy a second home one level as a vacation home to see if I like it.

My neighbors many are 60-85 and live in large homes and walk all the time. My 80 year old neighbors across the street walk three miles every day.

My house literally of old would only need to go up and downstairs twice a day to just to sleep.

Also where do kids and grandkids stay in your magically one story home. None of my kids are staying in DMV it appears.

They come home Xmas and Thanksgiving they expect their bedrooms. Come marriage will be bringing spouses and then grandkids.

And I WFH I can’t imagine how horrible that is on one level. And what about hobbies?

And who is cleaning out these big houses. Kids are lazy. Is my 80 year old neighbors supposed to empty a 7,000 sf house on their own and pack up?

More reason to become an empty nester before 60, downsize and spend money on travel, hobbies etc. It sounds horrible to maintain a 7,000 sqf home in your 80's because kids visit twice a year for few days. Y'all can rent Airbnb to enjoy holidays together.

My neighbors are a retired surgeon married to a retired VP. He even walks one mile to supermarket on nice days. They have no housekeeper. They are in perfect health. They do have a landscaper and handyman.

Empty Nestor at 60 is not a goal for most. My boss used to always say you can’t be 30 at 60. Retire early to do what. Your best years are 18-34.

It’s “nester,” not “nestor.”

What are you the spelling Nazi? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

I never understand why people think walkability is appealing to the elderly. My mom and MIL have mobility issues. They have zero interest or ability to walk to get groceries, go to restaurants, our anywhere where there are tons of cars. They move slowly and feel vulnerable if they’re in busy populated areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also have you priced an elevator?? We have for my father, and they’re about $30k, break down more frequently than the money is worth, and most houses are not constructed to retro-fit one in.

Also, they're known to be dangerous for children and can entrap and crush them. I wouldn't buy a home with one, and I would avoid them entirely when visiting others.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/07/14/elevator-death-outer-banks/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kris Jenner just built herself a new mansion with two stories. Most people in the DC area fit her profile (minus the money) -- healthy 60, 70 year olds who are continuing on in their middle age and still want space to live.

If you've exercised throughout life and stayed healthy, you shouldn't have mobility issues. People I know who want one story tend to be overweight and unhealthy and "don't do stairs."

Going up and down stairs is good for you. Most falls come from people drinking alcohol and falling down. Don't drink and walk.

What a stupid example. There's no way Kris Jenner doesn't have both an elevator and bedrooms on the first floor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 40 something having a hip replacement will be FINE and go on to enjoy their stairs for possibly 40 more years. That’s hardly a reason to buy a ranch house. Recovery is less than a month.

Most 40 year olds aren't having hip and knee replacements. The ones that are will need to have them replaced again around age 60.

[Anonymous]

I love our one story bungalow. We just finished the basement, but everything is on the main floor. Just need a ramp, and acknowledge the basement has to be accessible from outside walk in door :-/.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is full of cops, I agree OP.

The things they see and talk about when we get together.

The fallacy that walkable communities are good for aging and elderly. Pretty much every car hitting a pedestrian is a teen being an idiot or an older person making a grave mistake.

Falling down stairs is huge.

Getting stuck in their apartment when electricity goes out, can’t walk stairs, elevator out, die of dehydration.

Well duh. They only see the people who have been hit by cars, not all the elders who have not been. Use it or lose it. Walkability is extremely important for the elderly.

+1, also PP is not describing a high density, walkable community! If people are frequently getting hit by cars driven by teenagers and the elderly, that's a car-centric community where teens and old people have to get around via car.

Where I live, teenagers rarely drive because they don't need to -- they can walk, take bus or metro, ride a bike. There are still a lot of older people who drive around here, but that's a holdover from a time when this area was less dense and had less public transportation. They don't need to drive and probably shouldn't. However, you also don't see tons of accidents or people getting hit because speed limits are low and road capacity is low, so even when there are accidents, they are very rarely deadly. It's more like one of the old folks in the neighborhood will run into another vehicle while parking.

Also, if an elderly person is so isolated that during a power outage, they will get trapped in their apartment with no water, then they should probably not be living alone. I don't know any elderly people like this where I live. We have lots of people in our building and neighboring buildings in their 70s and 80s, but we know them and during a power outage that lasts more than a few hours, or if it's very hot out, we go knock on their door and make sure they are okay! Our building does not have an elevator and the oldest people in the building live in garden apartments for this reason, so an elevator outage is not a thing. It's also nice for them because they have some outdoor space. There are some spry septuagenarians who live on higher floors but they can still get up and down a flight of stairs, or they wouldn't be able to live there at all. We have had people move out of the building as they get older, either to live with family or to move into retirement communities, because they got too old to move around independently or care for themselves. But it doesn't happen that often. I do think living in the city, around family and younger people, in neighborhoods where they walk to the store, church, and the library and are forced to walk and occasionally climb stairs, tends to keep people younger longer. What you see much more often than physical failure is dementia. That seems far more likely to make it hard for someone to live alone or with a partner in an urban apartment than their hips. But I also have to believe that the sociability of living in the city must be good for older folks starting to experience dementia. It might buy them a few more years of independence before it's bad enough to require around the clock care. But they aren't heading out to a SFH in a suburb on their own. They are moving in with their kids or into retirement homes. Which is just a different version of higher density housing, actually.

Agree that walkability, and being around lots of other people, is great for older folks. My DH have every intention of aging in place in the city as long as we can. If we need more care, we'd like to live in a retirement community in our neighborhood (there are several) rather than uproot for something more suburban. We love it here.

[Anonymous]

As I get into this age range my mind goes to our experience with aging parents and relatives: Get rid of all of your material crap years before you think you will need to. If you didn't use it between age 50 and 60, through it out into the street right now! Do your families a big favor by dealing with this yourself. Yes, ONE box of photos is OK to keep so do another big favor by adding all the names, dates, places to the photos.

As for moving, I am mixed. My wife knows that I hate "prospective purchases" and moving into an accessible house way before it's needed is not something I will do. Too much can happen, or not happen. First, you have to tell me the date when I will lose mobility, how much money we will have and then you need to tell me what city my kids will be living in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put in elevator. Problem solved.

Agreed. My 80 year old parents live in a 3 story house with elevator.

What happens if the electricity goes out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people buy two retire the homes. I own on a condo complex by the beach. I say 75 percent of buyers are already retired in their retirement home.

Last couple who moved in bought a large beach house around four blocks my condo complex when they retired in 2005. They sold it last year in 2021 and moved to out condo complex to an upper unit. 65 retired in 2005 now 76.

My complex does lawn care, snow removal, clean gutters, take care of sprinklers, clean gutters and we cover flood insurance on common charges and upper units are pretty safe.

76 is a good time to move. But we do have folks in their 90s in units. In most cases is not stairs it is maint and Capital tied up. Also the ability to lock door and leave is helpful.

What? No. "Most people" can not afford two retirement homes.

[Anonymous]

What age exactly is "middle age?"
I had someone on a message board call me "middle age" when I said I was 34.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I get into this age range my mind goes to our experience with aging parents and relatives: Get rid of all of your material crap years before you think you will need to. If you didn't use it between age 50 and 60, through it out into the street right now! Do your families a big favor by dealing with this yourself. Yes, ONE box of photos is OK to keep so do another big favor by adding all the names, dates, places to the photos.

As for moving, I am mixed. My wife knows that I hate "prospective purchases" and moving into an accessible house way before it's needed is not something I will do. Too much can happen, or not happen. First, you have to tell me the date when I will lose mobility, how much money we will have and then you need to tell me what city my kids will be living in.

So you only keep one box of photos now because it might be a burden to your family at some point in the future, yet you refuse to live in a home with a ground floor bedroom until you've already lost mobility and your kids will be forced to step in and relocate you/take care of you. OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the whole thing funny. As if 55 is old. I bought my current home at 55. I had a wife a 10, 15 and 17 year old and three cars.

45-55 is trade up time. Not ranch one level living. And retirement age is 67 in United States.

I am an empty Nestor at 67 and will retire. But then I want to maybe travel, figure where to live. Maybe downsize but more likely buy a second home one level as a vacation home to see if I like it.

My neighbors many are 60-85 and live in large homes and walk all the time. My 80 year old neighbors across the street walk three miles every day.

My house literally of old would only need to go up and downstairs twice a day to just to sleep.

Also where do kids and grandkids stay in your magically one story home. None of my kids are staying in DMV it appears.

They come home Xmas and Thanksgiving they expect their bedrooms. Come marriage will be bringing spouses and then grandkids.

And I WFH I can’t imagine how horrible that is on one level. And what about hobbies?

And who is cleaning out these big houses. Kids are lazy. Is my 80 year old neighbors supposed to empty a 7,000 sf house on their own and pack up?

More reason to become an empty nester before 60, downsize and spend money on travel, hobbies etc. It sounds horrible to maintain a 7,000 sqf home in your 80's because kids visit twice a year for few days. Y'all can rent Airbnb to enjoy holidays together.

My neighbors are a retired surgeon married to a retired VP. He even walks one mile to supermarket on nice days. They have no housekeeper. They are in perfect health. They do have a landscaper and handyman.

Empty Nestor at 60 is not a goal for most. My boss used to always say you can’t be 30 at 60. Retire early to do what. Your best years are 18-34.

It’s “nester,” not “nestor.”

What are you the spelling Nazi? Grow up.

1. Don't use the term Nazi casually. It's a really bad look.
2. Learn to use punctuation.